This is embarrassing, but since only three people read my blog, I'll share. Yesterday I was driving through the park (in an effort to baby step my way out of the house - I'm still having a lot of nausea/pain/discomfort since my procedure so driving then walking then hiking, you get it) and I thought of this hilarious joke. I imagined the situation with specific friends, and for some reason I decided to elaborately mouth the joke. I was alone in my car, so it's fair if you think I'm crazy for essentially lip-syncing a funny joke I made up to absolutely no one other than my not-physically-there friends. Anyway. As I'm mid-mouthing-joke, I glance out my window and see these teen girls looking at me and then I start cracking up because I'm pretty sure they were on the precipice of hysteria themselves. I'm assuming they thought I was just really into belting out whatever song was on (which happened to be Destiny's Child - so they'd normally be correct). They had no way of knowing I was actually just cracking myself up. I was embarrassed for .2 seconds but then I got over myself. At least people got a laugh out of my joke. ....Sort of.
But now for some links! (This is longer than usual because I haven't done one of these posts in ages. Mea culpa. Grab a coffee.)
First off, this story has made it's way around my newsfeed. It claims Hawaii is paying anyone to move to the state and teach. But... it ain't so simple. I do actually meet the requirements, oddly. A teaching certificate isn't required, so there are plenty of people who would be ahead of me. I do have more experience with kids than is necessary, though... I'm going to have to weigh my desire to visit Hawaii/love of working with kids against my semi-irrational fear of tidal waves. This happens whenever friends make suggestions like this. They're reasonable ideas, but scary/scary-ish. (I'm reminded of my friend who has told me a few times to go to Germany for school - which actually is a terrific idea. Free!!! Completely free. I need to grow a pair.)
I've been guilty of using some of these excuses to avoid going out. Books > social life. Speaking of books... I've got two new reviews over on Filthy Casket! One and two. Self-promotion-no-shame-game-strong. (Also! An excellent reading list right here.)
I started using a smart phone again a few weeks ago. It's been fun posting pictures to Instagram again, but... I'm thinking I might go back to my old less intelligent phone. I'm happier and more productive when I spend less time on social media. I've already almost decided on tossing the smart phone, but this article about comparison and a social media detox has just strengthened my resolve. We'll see! (Related: this post would have been finished about two hours ago if I could just stop checking Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, oh my.)
I could read about personality types all day, so I loved both this post about kitchen designs based on personality and this (ultra old!) post about Gilmore Girls personalities (apparently I'm a Rory).
Speaking of personality types, I enjoyed this article filled with ideas to become a better planner. I related to what the author said about her personality type results changing - our answers on the Myers-Briggs test might change if we mindfully change our habits. We need to plan based on a mix of all that. (Also, and maybe this is cause for a separate post, but my results change on where I'm at in life - I think it has a lot to do with depression. Which sort of sucks!! Sometimes I just wonder what I'd be like if I didn't have - never had - depression.)
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It'd be very unlike me to not include baby name posts, so here: this list of cool vintage names (I like the names, but Bustle is behind the times. These names are already coming back/already back.) and this name advice article! Would you name your baby daughter Josie Rocket? I think it's cute but I'd prefer a longer formal name. Also! There's been a slew of birth announcements over at Sancta Nomina. Go check them out - Beatrice! Gemma! Rosalie! Swoon.
Really enjoyed this post over at Socanary's Diary. "The problem with the pizza tee. You know the ones I'm talking about right? Pizza is Life, Pizza is Bae, or There's No We In Pizza, put on a trendy top. So cute/funny/amazing right?! Sure, unless you're fat."
Seriously crushing on this bookshelf. I need an apartment so I can have many, many bookshelves. (No other reasons, nope.)
Pretty sure this dude is either me as a man OR he's my soul mate. Woke up from a coma, asked for Taco Bell.
An author sent identical queries to various agents using different names. Her own, Catherine, and a fake name - George. George received 17 requests for a manuscript, Catherine received two. The rejections "George" received were also warmer and more encouraging than the rejections Catherine received. All of this info is both heartbreaking and infuriating.
Let's break real quick for a few feel good videos:
Oldie but goodie - "Charlie bit my finger.. 15 years later" The man laughing in the background cracks me up each and every time.
Babies eating lemons. Never disappoints.
This girl's voice. I may or may not have watched this video five times in a row. I may or may not have then fantasized having an excellent voice and stage presence and confidence and desire to be on TV.
Meghan Trainor's performance may not have made me as swoony as the contender from The Voice, but it's still pretty great. Except that fall at the end. This is why I don't wear heels.
I've never watched baseball as fun as this triple play.
This marriage proposal was cute.. but not cutesy. Is that possible? I think so.
And of course, this real life game of quidditch. I used to want to go skydiving. I really did. But now that I'm 25... the days mean more, you know. Somewhat kidding. I'm more terrified of skydiving than I used to be, but I might just brave it if it meant I could play quidditch.
Okay! Back to regular programming!
I enjoyed this whole slideshow, but especially JFK on his wedding day. Dapper. Dapper indeed.
I have a penchant for "interesting" (read: ugly) shoes. Very annoying when such shoes cost $200. A girl can dream.
Alright so I love, love, love the end result of this makeover. But I can't help but mourn those beautiful, useful bookshelves and that beautiful, spacious, useful loft. I wish we could have seen the space redecorated but not remodeled. le sigh.
Apparently, half of the people you consider friends don't feel the same way. Ugh! What depressing stats. Not a good read for my insecurities!
Here, we need cheering up after that article. Let's watch and listen to these amazing ladies sing For Good.
Being in the hospital so much over the last month or two has meant I haven't done a ton of cooking. Which is sad. I'm also having the worst time trying to change my diet. I've already cut a lot of fatty/greasy stuff out, but I have trouble continuing with it. It's straight up harder than any other thing I've challenged myself to do. I'm so used to eating crap. It's really difficult. I guess I just have to make good recipes as often as possible. This one looks delicious. (And while we're on the topic of food and cooking... this kitchen. It's not my style at all, but for some reason I love it. Just the right amount of quirk, I think.)
Try and tell me you can look at this picture of the queen with her fun, color coordinated umbrella and not smile ear to ear. Just try.
I can't recommend this article enough. Here:
"The biological clock hysteria, with its image of a time bomb lodged in each and every woman’s ovaries, made each woman personally responsible for dealing with that handicap.
Many career women bought it. At least, they did not organise to demand better maternity leave or state subsidised childcare. Instead, they listened to experts who told them what experts always tell women: There is something terribly wrong with you! But luckily, there is also something new and expensive that you can buy to fix it."
"The role of the biological clock has been to make it seem only natural – indeed inevitable – that the burdens of reproducing the world fall almost entirely on women. There are moral as well as practical implications to this idea: if you do not plan your life just right, you deserve to end up desperate and alone."
"This seems like a strange form of empowerment: spending tens of thousands of dollars in order to make your date feel more comfortable. Or, so that you can climb a career ladder that will not bend, even slightly, to meet female workers in their reproductive years."
I need to remember what I read in this post about brooding over our sins. Can't do it.
LOL at this Emma Watson fan fiction.
And finally, hop over to Buzzfeed to laugh at some ingenious graduation cap ideas. I particularly loved the Sponge Bob and Little Mermaid caps.
And since we're not, you know, post-election yet, here's a friendly reminder...
...for the second time in a week. Not sorry.
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Charlotte
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