link love

Spotted this scary Dumbledore look alike nut cracker the other day...

So this post is a little late. Things have been rough lately. Hopefully I can start posting a little more regularly this/next week.

Here are some good links from around the web:

I hate to admit this, but I got one question wrong on this Harry Potter quiz! Dammit, Moaning Myrtle!

If you remember wondering how you'd have acted if you were alive during WWII, maybe you should check out these old stats about American public opinion on whether or not we should have accepted Jewish refugees as Hitler's power was growing. And then think about where you stand on the issue of allowing Syrian refugees here today...

It took me a while, but I think I've finally hopped on the Adele bandwagon.

Loved, loved, loved this post about being a real writer and developing good writing habits. We have to know and admit our own tendencies if we're going to be good at anything, ever.

I was intrigued by the ideas posed in this article, too. Here:

My point here is that a lack of women in the world’s top-paid positions does not necessarily reflect poorly on us. It may very well be evidence of a certain intelligence, perspective, or clarity in which women excel. So, when the next statistic comes out telling us that women and men are doing things differently, instead of simply assuming that women are being arbitrarily held back from living a full masculine life, how about we consider that, just maybe, we women are on to something. Then we’d start to see some balance in our news coverage, more equality between the sexes, and, dare I say, more true feminism at work.

(I do feel the need to say, though, that I do think women are often being held back. But I also think there's truth to the differences of values and goals.)

Most of my readers (hey Liz) are from Albany, and most have been to protests demanding justice for Donald Ivy, a black man killed by police. I liked this article and particularly this quote:

What kind of world would it be if no one said that Dontay's death was an outrage? What if the only visible story was the one that says police killing people of color is okay? We couldn't prevent them from killing Dontay, but we prevented them from killing his story. His life matters; his death matters. 

Did you see this moving post from a person who lost their cousin in the Paris attacks?

This is my current favorite song. Damn.

Smiled my way through most of this article about secrets of being an astronaut. (Enjoyed this post that was shared with me about the requirements of becoming an astronaut, as well.)  

This theory of Spongebob's relation to capitalism is just slightly terrifying. (As is, now that I'm looking at it, that URL.)

Black kids are being threatened and white kids are riding around in pick-up trucks screaming obscenities and yet still, people insist racism is over.

Just adored these ideas for map-related DIY projects. Just wondered when I became someone who says things like "just adore."

Praying for the family of this man who sacrificed himself to stop a suicide bomber.

I'm trying to eat healthier so I really appreciated these healthy chicken recipes (slow cooker! 7 meals cooked in one day! yes!) Speaking of health, I've been trying to master some of these habits myself.

Hilarious reasons to not vaccinate your kids (hint: you don't like them, anyway).

Optimism is good, but there's a limit. Telling kids they can do or be or have anything they want might be problematic.

I'll probably share this on FC too, but I love books and I like wine so this list of book/wine pairings was EVER SO HELPFUL.

My friend wrote this really great post. You should check it out.

I need this kid to be my life coach.

If you believe in spirits and demons and angels, maybe give this a read.

This ten year old little girl kicks ass.

And finally, I really loved (and needed) this post about how it's okay to be miserable.

I think that's all for this week's post.

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Charlotte

Blog Crossover: The Man Chronicles/The Book About Flirting: Chapter 1

Welcome to The Man Chronicles, a series at THL.  Or more accurately, an "occasional series" because my dating life is very Miranda Hobbes circa her panic attack aka sources for post subjects are scarce.  I really get my flirt on with the Chinese food guy, though.   

Series motto (for now!), methinks: "Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?" 

As I'm sure you know by now, Liz and I started a blog devoted to book reviews and bookish posts. It's called Filthy Casket Book Reviews. I've got an ongoing review of How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace: The Smart Guide to Flirting over there, but I post them here, too, because I think it fits in really well with The Man Chronicles. Every week when I review it, I'll post it on both sites, and it'll be a fun crossover. Yay! Man Chronicles AND books!  

If it suits your fancy, you can read it on Filthy Casket by clicking here. 

A few things. 1. This is part of an ongoing review. You can read the first part here. 2. If you are or ever have been a male mentor, teacher, or father figure to me, just don't read these.

This is a review of chapter 1: Rediscovering the Flirt in You

I finally managed to finish the first chapter of The Flirting Book (technically called How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace: The Smart Guide to Flirting, but that’s a mouthful so I’m going to stick to calling it The Flirting Book, forever solidifying my role of Least Official Book Reviewer Ever). 

Moving on. 

The intro got off to a bad start by suggesting that all single people are party hopping hooligans (I’m exaggerating but only slightly). It’s alright though, because it soon after mentioned eating desserts for lunch and I am all for that. 

Right off the bat, I can tell this book is corny. I mean, I knew that because it's a book about flirting. But the writing is going to be corny, too. On the very first page, for instance, we see this line: 

Even a visit to the neighborhood laundromat doesn't have to be a social wash. 

I'd laugh hysterically at such an awful pun in real life, but puns are harder to work with in books. So already, I know I'm in for quite the ride. 

Let's get into it, though. The author says this:

Learning to flirt is no more difficult than learning to dance.

Uh okay, so basically I'm fucked. Or, actually, won't be often if the above statement is true and good flirting technique is only as attainable as good dancing technique.

Even though I think it's a bad/intimidating metaphor, I understood the author's point and marched forward. "I will read this book! I will rediscover the flirt in me!" Even if this doesn't help the romantic flirt in me, the intro all but promises increased social, communication, and work skills. So this won't, in theory, be a futile attempt. 

The book starts off with a quiz, and I'm all for quizzes. This quickly erased any worry that the book, written in the 90's, would be outdated and useless. Quizzes! We love quizzes! Isn't Buzzfeed extremely popular?! This book is basically Lil Kim to Buzzfeed's Nicki Minaj. This book is relevant. This book will help me rediscover the flirt within. So yes, I took the quiz. It was quick and relatively easy. I also feel like I should mention that at least one of the questions gave me pause. Flirting is okay, but there's a line and doing something like telling a woman "her melons look fine" as she's trying to pick fruit out at the grocery store isn't cute flirting, it's inappropriate. I worried that the book would end up being horrible, but I told myself that this is a quiz meant to gauge the reader's personality, not a section with actual advice, so I'm going to give it a chance.

There were five multiple choice questions, and each had seven possible answers. At the end you count up how many of each letter (the answers were a, b, c, d, e, f, g) you chose and if you had one letter multiple times, you're a certain type of flirt. I had a B, two Gs, and two that were a toss-up between A and G. (Does that make sense??) So I flipped to the page that tells people who chose G often to find out what kind of flirt I was, though I took it with a grain of salt. I am, it seems, an Analytical Flirt. Sounds about right (although I'm nowhere near as analytical as the example she gave). I flipped back and read over the other kinds of flirts, too:

The "I Don't Flirt" Flirt

The Self-Centered Flirt

The Terminator Flirt

The Pressured Flirt

The Insincere Flirt

The Rejected Flirt

The Analytical Flirt

Rabin describes each type of flirt (though the descriptions are exaggerated big time, to the point where I almost didn't want to read them) and I'm assuming the info and advice in the following chapters will be tailored to each kind. Only time will tell!

xoxo

Char

link love

This week blew by so fast and I am so exhausted. SO exhausted. But I promised myself I'd post these every week, so here we are.

This dude shares a name with Taylor Swift and is really cool about it. I laughed when he read some fan mail and sheepishly said, "Thank you!"

Liz shared this post about grief on Facebook the other day and I'm going to go ahead and call it a must-read.

If you like the idea of ending oppression, give this a read.

I find it strange and disappointing when people deny the existence of racism, but just in case there was any doubt, look at this article about places named with racial slurs. Racism is real and color blindness is convenient.

Other stories that show white privilege/racism: affluent white districts vote down proposals meant to help predominantly black schools and two black cops are charged with murder after shooting and killing a white little boy. (To be clear, I am glad they are being charged. They should go to jail. But we also shouldn't ignore that black kids are killed by white cops frequently and when those cops are put on trial, society tends to jump to their defense. This is one of the many reasons the Black Lives Matters movement is necessary.)

I enjoyed (and probably needed?) this post about happily being single, and I admire the message that you shouldn't put your life on hold while waiting for a serious relationship. That said, there's some privilege in this woman's story - fine, but I could see how women with less money might be a little weary of the post. (Sorta related: this list of things to do while you're single. I'm generally annoyed by these kinds of lists, because life doesn't end when you have kids and people who say it does add to the negative perception of growing up and/or having a family. But some of these are more doable when you're single than they'd be if you were in a serious relationship or if you had the responsibilities that come with being a parent. But I don't know, keep in mind that none of these things are impossible if you're not single.)

I recently discovered John Granger and I've been pouring through reviews of his books. I need to be friends with this person.

Christmas is coming which means people are going to be extra giving. If you usually participate in Operation Christmas Child (I have), reconsider. There are better ways to help.

I love books and I love names so I ate up this article about how characters got their names!!

A while back, I wrote this post about being a burden. How all of us are burdens to other people, but how we're worth it. It is worth suffering to know another person. And so I really enjoyed this post about selfishness masked as charity. Here's an excerpt:

It is truly our selfishness, masked as mercy, that parades as charity today. We have more wealth and resources than at arguably any other time and place and yet we can’t spare the time and effort to care and love the most vulnerable of society. We’d rather kill them, for their own good, and call it our good deed of the day.

Perfect.

Pope Francis has won hearts (again) by calling for women's rights.

A little heartwarming, inspiring video.

I cannot wait to see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. It looks amazing.

Stress is bad bad bad for the body. I can personally attest to that.

I've mentioned before that I suck at praying and can use all the help I can get. I really appreciated this post on ways to improve your prayer life. (Also enjoyed this post on always preparing for a holy death.)

My ideal wedding would take place between mid October and early January, so of course I liked this post of winter beauty inspiration for brides.

Don't listen to Gwyneth Paltrow. Ever.

Did you hear about the app that will allow everyone to be review-able? Like, Yelp for humans. Bad idea. Maybe worse than a dislike button on Facebook.

I don't usually love kitchens that use a ton of white, but I adore this one!

These homes made of plastic bottles are great for the economy, affordable, warm, and bulletproof. I think it's great, though... I don't know. Something is rubbing me the wrong way. Those of us living in developed countries make a ton of waste and give it no thought and then people in developing countries are cleaning up the mess.  

Think I might need to go see both of these movies!

Loved this list of French names that could get popular here.

And I'll leave with the gift that is Prince Harry. And his beard.

<3
__
Charlotte

The Blue Ridge

The first time I saw the Blue Ridge Parkway was in the middle of February a few years ago and it was terrifying. Super beautiful and majestic and all that jazz, but the leaves were long gone and with them, the illusion that you weren't driving on a cliff. See that picture above? In the spring, those trees and growth are full, so even though you totally are driving on a cliff, you feel like there's something stopping you from going over the edge. Not the case in February and not the case now. I drove up a few days ago. It was very pretty, but I think I went a week or two too late. There were still orange leaves, but most had fallen already, so it wasn't as colorful as it might have been and I was very aware of the fact that I was driving on a cliff. You take your eyes off the road for just a moment and bad things can happen. I just kept repeating to myself, "don't look at the view, don't look at the view, WHY DID YOU JUST LOOK AT THE VIEW, YOU'RE GONNA DIE, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD."

Good times.

I drove up through Pisgah forest which, luckily, was still very colorful. I suppose the trees on the tops of the mountains lose their leaves faster. I decided I would take pictures of Pisgah on the way down instead of on the way up... mostly because I was starving and I bought a cup of "melon medley" and it was calling my name and I'd be able to eat it at the first overlook on the parkway. I put on some Blake Shelton and made my way up, and didn't even cry once over how pretty the forest was. I finally got to the overlook, took some pictures, and took a few bites of melon before I saw some guy looking at me funny and decided I'd go eat my melon medley at a different overlook, thank you very much.

zoomed in to the top corner of previous pic 

Pisgah has a ton of little pull-offs that are just big enough for one or two cars. On the way up to the parkway I tried to make a mental list of which spots seemed prettiest so that I'd be prepared to stop on the way down. This was going just swimmingly until I took another bite of my melon medley at one of these stops and started choking on it, no one in sight to ask for help. I recovered, but still... reminiscent of my days living alone in the city, when I used to occasionally worry about choking and dying alone. 

I watch too much Sex and the City.

It's a legitimate fear though. 

But yes! I persevered. These pictures of Pisgah are my favorite. I enjoyed exploring the forest more than I enjoyed the Blue Ridge. The colors were so perfect and the road twists a lot, so the sunlight played some cool tricks. I could live in this forest if I wasn't terrified of bears. 

Moral of the story: I need to spend more time outdoors.
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Charlotte

October Into November | 2015

It's been raining here for over a week. We've had two random days of nice weather, but in general if it rains, it rains for days. I adore the rain, so it's not really a problem, though it does make getting exercise harder. Or, well, it makes it easier for me to fake-justify not exercising. Going for a walk or jog in the rain wouldn't kill me, but I act like it would. Between the dampness and sports teams, things are pretty meh today. The Giants lost, Green Bay lost, the Mets lost (I'm a Yankees fan but I want NY to be the best at everything, so I was rooting for the Mets). At least Notre Dame won! 

This month was terribly slow and not much happened. A few things, though: 

1. A trip to the Blue Ridge Parkway

Okay, so it's not a real trip. It's about 40 minutes from me. But I don't go often because it's an uphill hike and gas isn't free, homie. I originally planned to take a trip to Asheville this month, but then I decided I'd rather see the Blue Ridge. I've never seen it in fall and I thought it would be nice. I'll write a post about it tomorrow!  

2. Healthity health health

I've not needed to go to the hospital since last time! Exciting. I've had a few doctor appointments, and this Thursday is my procedure and I'm not freaking out about it. Yet. I'll probably start tomorrow. 

The endo stuff seems to have taken a break. The birth control has worked as far as regulating the actual days and times (at least, as of now), and while the pain is still bad, it feels like it's less frequent. I still want to pursue treatment of course, but I'm relieved that this can kind of be put on the back burner while the liver stuff is happening. 

3. Ignoring all my monthly goals but... 

Yeah, I sort of ignored my goals this month. But it's largely because I decided to work on my daily habits instead, and it's been taking an embarrassing amount of effort. I think I'll write a post devoted to this later, but basically I have to constantly talk myself out of everything I'd normally do. I may or may not feel like a crazy person. 

That said, I did work toward some of my goals. I've been writing a lot. I didn't finish an entire chapter, but I did write. I've posted just about three times a week. I want to increase that a little, but it's a start, and I don't think it's too bad, especially since I've also been blogging on Filthy Casket. I've been exercising more, reading spiritual books more, and writing reviews more (though I was a little shy of my goal to write eight reviews).

Speaking of goals, here's what I want to do this month: 

1. Figure out a way to go to church. (My family makes this hard, because some of them tend to mock everything and/or be suspicious of everything. It's hard to explain. This is part of why I'm really dying to go back to Albany.)

2. Read five books. (I dropped the ball this month and read the first chapters of a few books instead of reading any books in their entirety.) 

3. Radically change my diet. (I've been doing this already but it is literally the hardest thing ever for me. I'll write more about it in that habits post.)

4. Do difficult exercises at least four times a week. (As in, uphill hiking or basketball or jogging.)

5. Continue posting at least three times a week on THL. 

6. Write at least six book reviews on FC. 

7. Finalize plans to go back to NY.

I think that's a solid amount of goals and that I should be able to complete them. 

That's it for this month's (very short?) post. xo. 

__

Charlotte

link love

Hey guys. It's official my favorite time of year now that Halloween is over. Thanksgiving! Christmas! New Year! I'm getting excited. 

But let's not hate on Halloween too hard. It can be fun. I got a laugh out of these costumes (and especially loved all the Rugrats costumes). And I'm putting these Harry Potter costumes ideas in my pocket for next year. I don't even remember the last time I dressed up for Halloween, and as much as I don't love the holiday, if I'm in Albany next year I might just go ahead and have fun. *shudder*

Speaking of Harry Potter, I didn't like this article. Prince William hasn't even read the books and you're gonna tell me he loves HP as much as me? Nahhh. But I did find this article about JK Rowling's position on Israel interesting. Apparently she got a lot of heat for signing a petition encouraging people NOT to boycott Israel, but then she used a HP story to say that she thinks Israel (as a state) does horrific things but that she doesn't think cutting off communication with them will solve anything. I can respect that. Also - really enjoyed this blog post about Harry Potter, Hallowmas, and our outlook on death over at Carrots for Michaelmas. Definitely recommend reading that one.  

Okay, so, things other than Harry Potter. 

Buzzfeed featured stories from five astronauts and they are terrifying. (The stories, not the astronauts.) You know I love space but also, space is dangerous. 

I'm dying to try this recipe this week! But it worries me. It's not cheap, and if I don't like it... well that would suck. I'd probably eat it because I'd feel bad wasting money, but I'd be pissed that I spent the money every time I eat it! Fingers crossed it's delicious.

This woman's story about egg donation was sad but touching. 

I may or may not be obsessed with Kate Middleton's style, and so I *may or may not* have loved this post - let's all go buy these dresses!

An important reminder.

I've mentioned that I have been thinking about getting a HP-inspired tattoo for a while. Liz showed me this terrific article of book-inspired tattoos and they're giving me great ideas! I'm not completely sure what I want yet, but I do know I want it to be subtle.

This was a terrific article about why we really need to stop blaming the Black Lives Matter movement for police deaths. "While every single death of a police officer is tragic, the nearly seven years of the Obama administration have been the safest seven years for police during any two-term presidency in our lifetime." 

Mixed opinions on this NYT article. Glad that extreme poverty across the globe is decreasing, but also - we need to talk about poverty more. And extreme poverty isn't the only problem. There's no excuse for people living paycheck to paycheck, either. I just don't want people to read that article and then fall into contentedness thinking that the world is just fine.  

By now you probably know I'm a big fan of Gretchen Rubin. Check this out! 

Loved this interview with Lauren Graham (one of my favorites)! Can't wait for the new episodes. 

I've said I want backyard chickens before (for eggs), and this pretty much solidified that desire. That hop at the end! 

And finally a big thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed my post about saints' names. It quickly became my most popular post and has been shared a few times and people have been so kind and fun about it! :) <3 

Til next week. 

__

Charlotte