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| ugly but very productive tomato plant |
The blogette hit 10,000 views a few days ago. It's not like that's a ton of views considering it's been around a few years, but I've basically been assuming Liz was my only reader. So either Liz has been here 10,000 times or more than a couple of people read it. ;) Anywho, it's a tad exciting. The blog isn't wildly popular, nor do I want it to be (unless it's so popular that I can make a living writing about Harry Potter baby names). But it is fun knowing there are a few readers that enjoy (or hate-read???) this space.
It's June 16, so I really shouldn't even bother writing this month's post, but hey. Better late than never, yes? It's been sitting in my drafts folder for a while now.
May was alright. I was in the hospital again, but didn't have to endure any 2+ day stays, so that was cool. I feel like my health is declining, but also like I'm becoming more resilient? I've been doing yard work and handyman-ish jobs to try and keep up on the bills. There are days/times when I can't do anything, but on my so-so days I'm alright to go work. I've been trying to push through the pain a bit more. I'm not great at knowing when that's a good idea or not, though. Sometimes I'll try to get out and either work or just get some fresh air and then I'll deeply regret it a few hours later when I'm puking or writhing in pain. Other days I push through the pain and then feel great.
I had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy since I have the body of a 50 year old, apparently. The docs were hoping to get hints as to what's going on with my abdomen (and especially my liver), but they weren't totally convinced they'd find anything. They mostly thought it was prudent to check things out. They did find some abnormalities... but nothing (as far as I know yet) that would explain the liver issues. The one thing I really, really complained about (to my friends, not to my doctors) was the colonoscopy prep. I wasn't concerned about the effects of the solution. I knew it'd suck but like, everyone has had the stomach bug, so whatever. (Gross to write about on a blog? Probably! Sorry, three readers.) But the taste of the solution. I literally cried throughout the process of drinking it. It made me gag and puke and I can't explain how hopeless/helpless I felt the entire time. It's really a pathetic feeling - "This nasty drink is going to be the end of me! I literally cannot do this. I cannot."
It's June 16, so I really shouldn't even bother writing this month's post, but hey. Better late than never, yes? It's been sitting in my drafts folder for a while now.
May was alright. I was in the hospital again, but didn't have to endure any 2+ day stays, so that was cool. I feel like my health is declining, but also like I'm becoming more resilient? I've been doing yard work and handyman-ish jobs to try and keep up on the bills. There are days/times when I can't do anything, but on my so-so days I'm alright to go work. I've been trying to push through the pain a bit more. I'm not great at knowing when that's a good idea or not, though. Sometimes I'll try to get out and either work or just get some fresh air and then I'll deeply regret it a few hours later when I'm puking or writhing in pain. Other days I push through the pain and then feel great.
I had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy since I have the body of a 50 year old, apparently. The docs were hoping to get hints as to what's going on with my abdomen (and especially my liver), but they weren't totally convinced they'd find anything. They mostly thought it was prudent to check things out. They did find some abnormalities... but nothing (as far as I know yet) that would explain the liver issues. The one thing I really, really complained about (to my friends, not to my doctors) was the colonoscopy prep. I wasn't concerned about the effects of the solution. I knew it'd suck but like, everyone has had the stomach bug, so whatever. (Gross to write about on a blog? Probably! Sorry, three readers.) But the taste of the solution. I literally cried throughout the process of drinking it. It made me gag and puke and I can't explain how hopeless/helpless I felt the entire time. It's really a pathetic feeling - "This nasty drink is going to be the end of me! I literally cannot do this. I cannot."
But. Yesterday I found out that the polyp they found was precancerous, so... I will never again complain about getting a colonoscopy. Before it was biopsied, the doctor who removed it told me he was glad I had the procedure because normally colon cancer in young people takes longer to diagnose since colonoscopies aren't usually performed until age 50. He has a 32 year old patient who has colon cancer. Even though we hadn't known it was precancerous at that point, he was relieved I had it removed. I'm super glad, too. After I typed it out to some of my friends yesterday it hit me that, like, holy shit! Had I not had this procedure I might have gotten cancer five years from now. I'm looking at colonoscopies every few years now, which sucks, but again... can't complain.
By the way, regarding the prep: I figured out a tolerable way to drink it. I read on a few different sites that it was better cold, but that putting ice in it was a big no-no. So I tried putting the bottle I used inside a bowl that was filled with ice, but that didn't help. I also was told by friends and by the internet AND by the pamphlet that a straw might help... I drank two liters with a straw and cried the whole time.
Eventually, I did two things that seemed to help. I filled up water bottles and put them in the freezer for 15-25 minutes. This way they weren't frozen, but they were ice cold. I won't say it made the solution okay, but it made it much less "kill me now." Also, I got rid of the straw. I don't know why the straw made it worse for me, since a lot of people seem to prefer it. But I was much, much better at just chugging an entire almost-frozen bottle than I was sipping through a straw. I'd get them down in about 7 minutes. (Chug for like 30 seconds, try not to gag, give yourself a pep talk for two minutes, chug for 30 seconds, repeat until done.)
Also, and I realize this sounds corny, but I was finally just like, "Jesus, you gotta help me." I think I was more polite than that, but really. I don't care what anyone says, drinking this was hard. I'd prefer enduring physical pain for a little while than drinking this poisonous crap. I felt stupid asking God to help me drink bowel prep solution, but like, whatever. Maybe that was a lesson. Nothing too small. I'd have tried the whole "offer it up" thing, but I was too busy gagging to think any coherent thoughts while actually drinking.
As for last month's goals...
I didn't do too bad. I called my friends. I didn't send letters to my friends, though. On my list! I think I read five books? My goal was six. But I read Half Blood Prince twice. Does that count? ;) I wrote four book reviews in May, which is four more than I wrote in April - excellente. I lost around 10ish pounds. Not only did I look into classes, but I enrolled at a nearby community college. I did not go kayaking, but I spent most of the month sick, so... (I'd be physically capable of kayaking on some of my good days, but I'm not keen on being out in the middle of nowhere, in a body of water, alone, and then having one of my severe attacks. Maybe I'll grow a pair at some point. We'll see.)
And this month's goals:
1. Try getting outside more. I'm in pain, but like... when I'm below a 6 on that 1-10 scale I can try a little harder to get out.
2. READ SIX BOOKS, DAMMIT CHARLOTTE.
3. Post five new book reviews.
4. Finish the book reviews for the Underland Chronicles. It's been months since I wrote the review for the third book. Let's not make it years.
5. Eat better (+ more fiber).
6. Lose 10 pounds. This is when things get tricky. Losing weight is always hardest when I'm closest to my goal weight. I'd like to reach 180 by late September, assuming my health doesn't get even more wild.
That's it for now. ;)
Charlotte
By the way, regarding the prep: I figured out a tolerable way to drink it. I read on a few different sites that it was better cold, but that putting ice in it was a big no-no. So I tried putting the bottle I used inside a bowl that was filled with ice, but that didn't help. I also was told by friends and by the internet AND by the pamphlet that a straw might help... I drank two liters with a straw and cried the whole time.
Eventually, I did two things that seemed to help. I filled up water bottles and put them in the freezer for 15-25 minutes. This way they weren't frozen, but they were ice cold. I won't say it made the solution okay, but it made it much less "kill me now." Also, I got rid of the straw. I don't know why the straw made it worse for me, since a lot of people seem to prefer it. But I was much, much better at just chugging an entire almost-frozen bottle than I was sipping through a straw. I'd get them down in about 7 minutes. (Chug for like 30 seconds, try not to gag, give yourself a pep talk for two minutes, chug for 30 seconds, repeat until done.)
Also, and I realize this sounds corny, but I was finally just like, "Jesus, you gotta help me." I think I was more polite than that, but really. I don't care what anyone says, drinking this was hard. I'd prefer enduring physical pain for a little while than drinking this poisonous crap. I felt stupid asking God to help me drink bowel prep solution, but like, whatever. Maybe that was a lesson. Nothing too small. I'd have tried the whole "offer it up" thing, but I was too busy gagging to think any coherent thoughts while actually drinking.
 |
| went to google to search for an appropriate gif for my prep-solution-prayer. found this instead. |
I didn't do too bad. I called my friends. I didn't send letters to my friends, though. On my list! I think I read five books? My goal was six. But I read Half Blood Prince twice. Does that count? ;) I wrote four book reviews in May, which is four more than I wrote in April - excellente. I lost around 10ish pounds. Not only did I look into classes, but I enrolled at a nearby community college. I did not go kayaking, but I spent most of the month sick, so... (I'd be physically capable of kayaking on some of my good days, but I'm not keen on being out in the middle of nowhere, in a body of water, alone, and then having one of my severe attacks. Maybe I'll grow a pair at some point. We'll see.)
 |
| weight loss progress pic |
1. Try getting outside more. I'm in pain, but like... when I'm below a 6 on that 1-10 scale I can try a little harder to get out.
2. READ SIX BOOKS, DAMMIT CHARLOTTE.
3. Post five new book reviews.
4. Finish the book reviews for the Underland Chronicles. It's been months since I wrote the review for the third book. Let's not make it years.
5. Eat better (+ more fiber).
6. Lose 10 pounds. This is when things get tricky. Losing weight is always hardest when I'm closest to my goal weight. I'd like to reach 180 by late September, assuming my health doesn't get even more wild.
That's it for now. ;)
Charlotte
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