A Simple Way to Mitigate Some of the Problems of Adulthood

My friend Stephanie and I were roommates for our last two years in college.  We were suitemates a year before that.  We graduated, she moved to the south for nursing school, I moved to another apartment.  We went from talking every day to talking maybe once a month.  That’s no fun. 

It’s pretty common, though.  Most of my friends agree that one of the hardest things about becoming adults is maintaining friendships with the people you’ve grown close to over the years.  It’s one thing to grow apart from a friend, realizing you’re just not as interested in being friends as you used to be.  It’s another to never see your closest friends, to only ever hear their voices when you reach their voicemail.  (Phone tag.  We are never near our phones or able to talk at the same time.  Grrrrr.)

So then what?  Facebook.  It’s good for knowing when to congratulate a friend on some achievement.  “Hey, a picture of you receiving an award popped up on my newsfeed.  Congrats!”  “Whoa, you’re engaged?!  Wait… you’ve been engaged for three months now?” 

Yikes. 

So that’s one main struggle of being (sort of) an adult. 

Another?  Bills.  All of the bills.  I swear, there is at least one bill in my mailbox every day.  Copayment for this doctor visit, electricity went up, student loans.  You get the idea.  It’s so stressful.  Every day, this happens:

I was talking to a friend the other day about mail – how when we were younger, we would run to the mailbox hoping there would be something with our names in there.  

You may be thinking, “What would a kid get in the mail??”

I’ll tell you.  This, my friends: 

 

THIS.

Reasonable or not, running to the mailbox was exciting as a kid.  When you saw nothing with your name on it, you were disappointed. 

Well, that’s changed.  I avoid my mailbox like the plague.  If I pass it and there’s stuff in it, I pray that it’s for my roommate.  (Sorry, roommate, for wishing bills from hell on you.)  Retrieving the mail is just no fun anymore.

But guys, there’s a way to fix this problem AND the long distance friendship problem AT THE SAME TIME. 

PEN. PALS. 

I think Stephanie thought I was kidding when I first asked if we could just be pen pals from now on.  I was sick of calling her, getting voicemail, seeing a few hours later that I missed her call back, and then repeating that.  It’s like that God awful gym game from elementary school: never-ending tag.  Oh how I hated that game. 

But once we went back and forth, Steph was all, “this is fun!”  And I was surprised that we both stayed on top of it (at least for the most part). 

The first pay off of being pen pals is that you get to talk again.  When it’s a phone call, IF you ever actually achieve such a thing, it’s usually a limited amount of time.  Not so with a letter.  We talk about funny things: I was elected to the board of this club!  I’m so proud.  I mean, sure it was uncontested, but whatever.  We vent about stressful things:  Dude, I’m having job problems.  We think about what the future will look like:  Hey, maybe we’ll end up being neighbors!  (I hope so!)  Of course nothing is as good as actually physically being with friends, but getting to write long letters in which you can cover ALL OF THE THINGS is pretty nice. 

The second wonderful thing about having pen pals?  Retrieving the mail isn’t so depressing anymore!  Oh sure, there’s hundreds of dollars worth of bills in that box, but – but! – there’s also the exciting prospect of getting a letter from your friend.  (And let me tell you, even the more serious letters can brighten your day.)

So no, I don’t know how to solve all the problems of adulthood…

“Income taxes?  You’re taking a third of my income?!  When GE doesn’t pay anything?!”

“Wait, so like, when did walking up the stairs become a strenuous activity?”

“What’s transmission fluid?  More money?  Isn’t an oil change enough?!”

“Do I need to get out of bed… and make breakfast… and put clothes on?  Ugh.”

But, having a pen pal is a way-fun solution to the “We never talk anymore!” and “Oh my God, will I ever get a piece of mail that isn’t an advertisement or a bill again?!  EVER?” problems.  

Me and Steph

__

Charlotte