Open Letter to Mindy Kaling

Dear Mindy,

I hope this letter finds you well. 

I’m a big fan of both your show and your book.  (Okay, well, the first chapter of your book that I read when my roommate took it out from the library.  It’s on my to-read list, though, I swear.)  I’m writing because I’ve made it my life goal to be on The Mindy Project.  Some might call that a pipe dream, but this is America, where dreams come true.  …At least 5% of the time. 

I think I’ve got something the show hasn’t seen yet: mediocrity.  There’s Mindy, who is super smart and unbelievably well-dressed.  There’s Dr. Reed, who has that accent that just about kills all American women.  Peter with his smolder; Morgan, who is wonderfully weird.  Casey is in tune with God.  And Danny basically is a god.  Even Betsy is exceptional in the field of optimism.

Everybody’s got something, whether it’s a strength or just a stand-out characteristic.  We haven’t seen someone who isn’t special. 

I can be that someone.  I’m terrifically ordinary.  Really average. 

I didn't actually see this movie.  Regular people don't watch Academy Award winners.

Let me give you some examples.

My usual outfit is boot cut jeans and some sort of plain shirt.  Boot cut jeans.  If that’s not “regular,” I don’t know what is. I watched that Dennis Quaid movie, Yours, Mine, and Ours, and actually enjoyed it.  This wasn’t when I was a kid.  This was yesterday.  So average!  So boring!  Admittedly, I did graduate college.  I guess that could be considered great, but I didn’t do so with a 4.0 gpa.  Oh no siree.   I wore that gown proudly as I looked at my 2.4 gpa. 2.4.  I’m not certain, because, of course, I’m not exceptional at math and statistics, but I think a 2.4 might even be below average.  I don’t have any one hobby that stirs my soul.  I’m that person that does a million hobbies but doesn't excel at any of them.  You know, “jack of all trades, master of none.” 

Now, I must be honest.  My mediocrity also shines when I try to act.  In junior high I was in a play… I couldn’t even land a character with a name.  Because of this, I think I’d be most useful on The Mindy Project if I just kinda stood there.  Maybe say a little something every now and then.  Most of the time I make jokes that aren’t even funny.  (ex. I work with kids, and after one boy told me how he was “super duper good” at board games, I declared him an “ex-board-inaire.”  Like extraordinaire… with board games.  Get it?)  Sometimes my jokes are okay.  (ex. Asking my friend and coworker if she wanted to become a TEAcher because she loves tea so much.)  But once in a while, man, I can really kill it.  In fact, the proudest moment of my life thus far involves a funny.  FUNNY. 

My friend and I were in Borders (this was before capitalism killed it it went out of business), perusing the Ancient Greek and Roman section.  We saw a collection of Euripides’ plays and got really excited because we had read them in school, so I suppose we felt smart or something.  I don’t know.  But anyway, I picked up the book and flipped quickly through the pages.  I looked at the cover again.  “Euripides,” I thought.  “What a strange name.  I wonder how they came up with these names.  Euripides.  You-rip-a-deeze.”  And then, in a rare moment of brilliance, I held the book up to my friend and said, “Hey, Dana, Euripides pages, you buy-a da book!”  (If you’re not laughing, I promise, it’s due to my inability to convey jokes through writing.  Stuff was funny.)*

And so that’s what I can offer.  I can bring to The Mindy Project what no one else has.  I can be boring.  I can be average.  I’m so good at being average.  I don’t mean this in a self-deprecating way.  Not just anybody can be ordinary.  No.  Not Obama, not Lady Gaga, not Peyton Manning.  Okay, scratch Peyton.  My point is, I can bring a breath of fresh, ordinary, not special smelling air to the show. 

Sounds like an okay idea, right?

Thank you,

Charlotte 

(To all three of the people I know read this blog:  I always show a few of my friends these posts before sharing the link.  The feedback on this has been that it's "well written, funny, and definitely maybe will capture the attention of people."  But, they've also expressed concern over my self-loathe.  So, I will do that which I do not want to do and admit that I know there are good things about me.  1. I'm fucking hilarious.  (*Euripides pages...)  2. I'm a fair writer.  I'm not great, but I think I can be one day.  3. I'm nice.  4. When waxed, my eyebrows are just lovely.  LOVELY.  See?  Okay?  Not swimming in self doubt over here.  All is well.)

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Charlotte

2014 Book List

So I've seen a bunch of people make book lists for 2014.  My favorite lists, though,  have been the ones that are broken up into months, because otherwise I'd just save all the books on my list for October-December and read other random books throughout the year... which means I'd be mad at myself at the end of the year.  I still think I'll end up reading more books that aren't on the list, but at least I'll have some sort of structure.  Yay. 

I've chosen to be super ambitious with this list, because I want to write my book this year and if I'm going to be good at writing I need to read more.  That and because why not be ambitious?

Here goes.

January

1. Finish The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

2. O Albany by William Kennedy

3. I Am Malala by Malala Yousafazi

4. Why Me? by Sarah Burleton

5. Why Them? by Sarah Burleton

February

6. Looking for Alaska by John Green

7. Death by Black Hole: And Other Cosmic Quandaries by Neil DeGrasse Tyson

8. Schooling in Capitalist America: Educational Reform and the Contradictions of Economic Life by Samuel Bowles and Herbert Gintis
9. Finish Return of the King by JRR Tolkien

10. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

March

11. The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne Valente

12. Democracy Matters: Winning the Fight Against Imperialism by Cornell West

13. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clark

14. Beloved by Toni Morrison

15. Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins

April

16. Finish The Thousand Autumns of Jacob De Zoet by David Mitchell

17. Falling Together by Marisa de los Santos

18. The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell

19. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

May

20. Teachers United: The Rise of New York State United Teachers by Dennis Gaffney

21. The Marriage Plot: A Novel by Jeffrey Eugenides

22. At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks

23. The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien

24. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling

June

25. Finish Red China Blues by Jan Wong

26. Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning (British Library Writers' Lives Series) by Martin Garrett

27. Losing Nelson by Barry Unsworth

28. The Tain: Translated from the Irish Epic Tain Bo Cuailnge by Thomas Kinsella

July

29. The House I Loved by Tatiana de Rosnay

30. The Bully Pulpit by Doris Kearns Goodwin

31. The Charm School by Nelson DeMille

32. Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi

August

33. We by Yevgeny Zamyatin

34. Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset

35. One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn

36. Wild Blue: A Natural History of the World’s Largest Animal by Dan Bortolotti

September

37. How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents by Julia Alvarez

38. The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy by Jeanne Birdsall

39. The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton

40. Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond

October

41. Finish Mayflower by Nathaniel Philbrick

42. Weapons of the Weak: Everyday Forms of Peasant Resistance by James C. Scott

43. Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

44. The Lost Daughter: A Memoir by Mary Williams

November

45. Adam in Eden by Carlos Fuentes

46. The Autobiography of Malcolm X

47. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

48. Space Chronicles: Facing the Ultimate Frontier by Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Avis Lang

December

49. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

50. The Confessions of St Augustine

51. Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos

52. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

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Charlotte

100 Little Things in 2014

    100 Little Things in 2014

1. Pay off my Discover Card.

2. Pay off my Kohls Card.

3. Pay off my LB Card.

4. (See a pattern here?) Pay towards my student loans every month.

5. Make a table out of old hard cover books.

6. Go to at least ten bars/restaurants I haven’t been to before.

7. Get all of my teeth fixed.

8. Get really good at doing my hair…without getting it thinned first.

9. Make a reading list. (And, you know, complete it.)

10. Get this artwork.

11. Watch 10 documentaries.

12. Make Risotto.

13. Plant an urban garden. (Think something like this, this, or this. )

14. Have an Indiana Jones marathon.

15. Blog at least once a week.

16. Make pillows.

17. Go to church every week.

18. Get back to my ideal weight.

19. Read more poetry.

20. Listen to a lot of music.  Not just what’s on the radio.

21. See a play.

22. Make a pie from scratch once a month.

23. Stop avoiding being photographed.

24. Play more basketball.

25. Go to the farmer’s market more often.

26. Finish my book.

27. Cut back on drinking Coke.

28. Stop saying “no” to going out.

29. Get a long term plus one.  (For Kayce & Alison ;)

30. Make a quilt.  Or at least try.  Or pick out patterns.  Or something.

31. Go on a boat.

32. Go to a baseball game.

33. Go to the doctors that I’ve been avoiding for years.

34. Read the Bible.

35. Make onion rings.

36. Make cool tile coasters for the apartment.

37. Hike more.

38. Have a Disney movie marathon.

39. Come up with more really awful, corny jokes.

40. Go rock climbing.

41. Go to a zoo.

42. Grow herbs in mason jars.

43. Build something out of old stuff and material from Habitat.

44. Do this for someone.

45. Find a really cool cookie jar.  Fill it.

46. Get better at praying.

47. Get a pet.  (No pets allowed in this apartment, so it’s got to be a fish or a frog…)

48. Go on more dates.

49. Up my fake jewelry collection.

50. Watch movies.  I mean “classics” that everyone has seen except me.

51. Find little bookstores.

52. Buy a nice dress.

53. Paint our coffee table.

54. Make those cool cakes and pies in a jar!

55. Write kids stories.

56. Get more involved with the Prisoner Justice Network.

57. Do more work for Citizen Action.

58. Figure out how to copy Panera’s breakfast soufflés.

59. Stop taking ibuprofen.

60. Go whale watching.

61. Search for the best cheeseburger in the region.

62. Write to Martin Sheen.

63. Save money.  Even if it’s $400… better than zero.

64. Paint.

65. Build a small bookcase.

66. Learn about saints.  Like at least six.

67. Learn about space.

68. Learn about whales.

69. Read news sources from other countries.

70. Go sledding.

71. Play tennis.

72. Visit a museum.

73. Watch a ton of musicals.

74. Sing the songs from those musicals. 

75. Make curtains for my brother’s and sisters’ rooms. 

76. Learn how to make soft pretzels.

77. Host game day/game night.

78. Take the LSATs, but just for fun and to try to beat my last score.

79. Eat less fast food.

80. Make Indian food.

81. Get stationary and send letters to people.  Mail that isn’t bills makes people happy.

82. Eat a snow cone.

83. Make a lamp.

84. Watch more Yankees games.

85. Watch this documentary about NASA.

86. Make homemade chicken noodle soup.

87. Get oxfords.

88. Pick flowers and throw those bad boys in a mason jar.

89. Perfect my chocolate chip cookies recipe.

90. Go to New Hampshire.

91. Get my make up done in Macys or Sephora.

92. Paint my nails more.

93. Have my friends over and kick their asses at some board game or another.

94. Set aside a day to just jam to Destiny’s Child.  All day.

95. Exercise more.

96. Go bike riding.

97. Put lotion on every day. 

98. Tell people I love them more.  I suck at this. 

99. Go see a drive in movie.

100. Sleep eight hours  a night for one whole week.

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Charlotte

Weird feels

This post is actually making me uncomfortable, because I'm awkward about gratitude.  It's not that I'm not thankful for things - I am.  It's just that as a weird defense mechanism type thing, I associate being outwardly grateful for things as a vulnerability or something.  It's like if I admit I'm thankful for something, especially something given to me by others or by God or by the world, etc, I admit that I'm not the only one who can make me happy, which means I'm not in total control, which also means other people can make me sad.  I don't know.  Weird.  I mean, I'm conscious of all this, and in my mind I am actually overwhelmed sometimes by how much gratitude I feel for certain things and certain people, but it's like once I say it out loud, I open up to other people, and that's never been something I'm good at.  Weird feels.  But here goes, because this is necessary and I don't think I convey enough to anyone that I am really thankful for things/people. 

Yesterday someone told me, "You have a lot to be thankful for this year." 

I nodded, but on the inside, I kind of just rolled my eyes. 

In the last year, I moved into an apartment that ended up having extensive water damage and mice.  I lost about $1800 in the process, and ended up sleeping on my friends' couch for a month.  I was stranded in the south for a couple of months, and then I was stressed to the max trying to find a job and an apartment.  Then I found a job and an apartment, but I was all, "Wah, I hate living alone," and, "Wah, this job sucks."  And yes, I hate living alone and the job doesn't make my soul dance, but it hasn't been all bad, and I do have things to be thankful for. 

While the job isn't great and causes a ton of stress and makes my butt hurt because I drive so much and I get called names daily because the position is a part of "Obamacare," it comes with awesome health coverage.  I haven't had health insurance since my second year of high school, which really sucks because I have serious health issues and now I have seven years worth of medical bills hurting my credit.  I'm talking thousands of dollars in debt.  But what has really concerned me was the actual health problems, and because of this job, I can deal with them now.  A couple of years ago, I had an appendectomy and the surgeons saw that I had severe endometriosis.  But because I didn't have insurance, I couldn't get it taken care of.  No medicine, no surgery, not even an appointment with a specialist.  Seeing as endometriosis can cause infertility, this has been pretty distressing.  I may not love my job, but I love that I can go see a doctor now.  I have other health issues, but that's the one that upsets me the most, and without the job I wouldn't have any hope of treatment.  I'm thankful that I do now.

And that new apartment?  It's wonderful.  And in a couple weeks, my roommate will be there and I won't have to hate living alone any more.  There's still a bunch of stuff I need for it, but I mean there's a bed and heaters and that's good.  And it's not in the south.  That too.  I'm grateful for that.

In May, I graduated from college.  That was a shocker for me and I'm pretty sure it shocked most of the people I'm closest to, also.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to go to school (and I look forward to fighting for free education so no one else has to graduate with $40,000 in loans) and I'm thankful for the people who helped me get through it all.

Over the last few months, I've been going to church and have had nothing but good experiences there.  It's a big, warm, welcoming community, and I'm thankful for that.

I'm grateful for the people who help me out when I need it.  As another defense mechanism type thing, I almost make it difficult for people to help me, but I've been surrounded by people who (metaphorically) slap me upside the head and make me accept help and not be all lame about it.  The other day, I was sick, and I actually called a friend, crying and all, to come help me.  Progress! 

And as someone with a family that isn't really fond of me, I'm super grateful for the people who treat me like family despite not being biological.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. 

So there we have it.  Not well articulated, but those are the things I'm thankful for right now.  Oh, and my pie making ability.  There aren't many things I'm good at, but I can do these type of things wonderfully:



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Charlotte

Goings On

So I guess I took a one month vacay from blogging.  Except instead of a vacation, my last month has been hellish and all sorts of awful.  

Unemployment is terrible.  For a few weeks, I was all, "Yeah!  I'm gonna read all the books!  I'm gonna go to all the museums!  I'm gonna do all the things!"  But after some time, that gets old.  Being alone for ten hours a day gets old.  And so I started getting all depressed and crappy and did a lot of sleeping and a lot of headache-having.  Hmph.  Don't feel too bad.  The blog was not the only thing I neglected.  I haven't worked on my book in I don't know how long.  

But then something miraculous happened.  I got a job.  An actual job with a salary and excellent health benefits.  A job that means no more days consisting of ten hours of solitude.  I can't say where or my exact position, but it has to do with the Affordable Care Act.  Cool stuff.  This is how I feel about it:

But then I was like, ah money problems.  Paying student loans, car payments, etc, is not going to be super easy even with el job.  So instead of walking around like that picture of Robert all day, I slept some more.  And on the same day my account was accidentally overdrawn, I got an email about said loans, found out I'd have to pay more for my commute than I thought, and broke my pair of boots that are appropriate for any occasion, rendering me useless.  So I slept some more.  But then I got my shit together and was back to being grateful for a job.  

Despite said inertia, I've managed to accomplish some things over the last month.  For starters, I finally finished the Fellowship.  Yeah yeah!  I'm on to The Two Towers right now, and I'm about half way through.  I've also held myself to my promise of going to church everyday.  

And I've really enjoyed it.  

But, back to bloggy business.  

1. Future posts.  Man.  So I really have thought a lot about different posts I can do about Catholicism, I just haven't done it.  (Inertia, remember?)  So my plans are, over the next week, to write at least one post about why I started to get back into Catholicism and started going to church again, and to write at least two other posts.  I think one is going to be about abortion because I've been wanting to write about it for a while.  We shall see.  

2. Books.  I'm going to set weekly goals for reading and throw those goals up on this bad boy for some sense of accountability.  

This week's readin': 

"Three books?!"  Yeah, no.  I've read Confucius but I want to do a quick reread.  And I'm halfway through Towers.  So really it's not too bad.  I'm also planning on reading Unions, Labor Law, and Collective Bargaining by Allen Smith on Minerva, el kindle.  But it's not a hefty read, it sounds like more of a guide.  

So look out for one of those upcoming posts!  I'm off to sleep. ...before 9pm. ...at age 22.  

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Charlotte

Slapped in the Face by an Eight Year Old & The Baby NSA

So I've mentioned that I work at a before school program.  Glorified babysitter, basically, though I try to be mindful about it and you know.. teach/show them things.  I've gotten better at thinking about what I say before I say it, since we all know little kids are secretly listening to everything everyone around them says and storing it for later.  They're like the baby version of the NSA. 

This whole being mindful and encouraging and pointing out the good in each kid started last year.  

I felt absolutely awful after a conversation my coworker and I had with a few kids.  One of them asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, and since we both really couldn't answer, we sassed it up.

"Fabulous."

"Awesome."

"Skinny."

Eek.  It kills me that I said that.  It kind of just became my coworker and I joking with each other, and it came out.  (I believe we had been talking about working out and stuff that morning, so it was in my mind.)

What I forgot was the rest of the audience.  A bunch of little kids, some girls, hearing someone they look up to say that a great life ambition was to be skinny.  I can't explain how crappy I felt about it after I said it.  From that point on, I made a huge effort to watch what I say and to be a big ball of positive for them.  Half the time I'm super stressed about my life so I am totally faking my happy go lucky attitude, but "fake it til you make it," right?? 

So the other day at work, we put on some music.  One Direction.  I was jamming out of course.  But, I was purposely making my voice sound ridiculous, like I always do if I'm singing in front of people.  A little girl said something sassy about me not becoming a famous singer, and I laughed and said, "Hey!  When I was younger I actually could sing.  I was in select choir and everything!  I can still be famous if I want!"  When she asked me why I stopped singing and stuff, I was like, "Well, I never had a lot of confidence in myself, and it got worse as I got older."  

Then I told her that her killer diller confidence is my favorite thing about her and that she should stay that way and never be afraid to do something she feels is right for her. 

And that's when I got slapped in the face by an eight year old boy.  (Not actually, physically slapped.)  He was sitting across the table from us and he threw his hands in the air and shook his head all crazy-like and made a "WHAT?!?!" face and said, "How can you tell us that?  Why don't you have confidence in yourself?!" 

Which is when I gave some half-ass response and made a joke, since laying on the floor and throwing a tantrum and saying "I don't knoooooow, it's not my fault!  Leave me alone!" wasn't an option. 

Really though, it's something I'm working on.  The fact that I am even writing this encounter on here shows me that.  I probably should have given him a better answer. 

Really though, sometimes I think kids are way smarter than us.

And since I wanted to include a picture, enjoy this throwback.  My cousin and I were so cool.  He passed away doing something he loved.  I think a lot of us need to remember to do what we want more often.

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Charlotte