dayzeroproject.com is a website where you list your goals and then check them off as you do it. One of the most popular ones is to write your future self a letter. I did that, but I'm writing it on here, too, because, well, God forbid a fire or tornado or some sort of natural disaster. (Paranoia.) There are some things I left out.
Dear Charlotte,
First off, I feel ridiculous writing this. But, in the name of either courage or stupidity, I'm gonna do it anyway.
I really hope life if better now that ten years have passed. Because it currently sucks. For the most part, that is. You have no full time job, no boyfriend, no apartment. But, on the plus side, you opened a fresh can of Maxwell House coffee this morning, and that is one of your favorite things. (The sound it makes and the feel of the lid coming off. I don't know. You're strange. Or were.) Studies show that global warming is a threat to coffee production, so this might not be a thing for you anymore, ten years later.... Thanks, Obama.
Today, you're like, 240 pounds. That's really unacceptable, mostly because walking up a flight of stairs shouldn't make you gasp for air. You've vowed to work on it though, and are in the process of becoming a member of a recreation center. You go, Glenn Coco! (Hopefully I didn't lose too much weight, though. As Nicki Minaj says, "Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun... where my fat ass bitches at?") My goal is around 160-175, because I've looked and felt good at that weight before. Hopefully you're still around there, but if you've had kids, you're fine (insert positive statement about the physical marks of motherhood here).
Hopefully you're married (maybe to _________?? sorry, internet, no specifics) with kids. I'd like that. But, if not, that's okay too. It's sort of ambitious since you don't currently have a boyfriend. 33 isn't that old, so no worries. It also just occurred to me that maybe suggesting a future husband wasn't a good idea, because if it's not him, well... awkward. Also, I should have used a different pen to write this. My handwriting is weak with this pen.
On a bigger scale, I'm hoping the revolution has happened! Or is happening!! Because 1. things are bad and capitalism is ruining everything and 2. I bet Joe that it would happen soon.
This year has been your year of fixing (or trying to, any way) health issues. It's my sincere hope that you're not experiencing this crap any longer. You (I?) also have some mental issues, especially re: depression and confidence, but working on that, too, so maybe you're not so bad.
You don't have any one best friend. But this is good, because like Mindy Lahiri says, "best friend isn't a person, Danny, it's a tier." Your tier has a few people on it. Some of them I don't refer to as friends because they're old or the relationships with them aren't really of a typical friendship nature, but I guess they're part of the tier. I hope you still talk to Emily, Liz, Mark, PFT, Sera, Steph, Alison, Joe, and Kevin (maybe). They're the people you talk to most often and most openly. (If I did not include you, it's only because I don't talk to you more than 5 times a week. Let's change that :) Oh, and Olivia, but she feels more like an extension of myself.
I hope you're happy (or trying to be), better at being a Catholic, that you've written your damn book, and that you're struggling a little less. And that you're still hilarious.
Love,
Charlotte
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