(Not actually midnight.)
I'm in freezing cold New York, staying at my friends' apartment. So I'm sitting here thinking I should write a blog post because it's been a hot minute since the last one and I did say I was going to write more. Queen of Follow Through. Not my name now, but hopefully one day.
But what to write about? And then I remembered, I said I'd follow the inspirational lead of the topic-generator and write about people who cut in line. Enthralling topic, I know. But then I decided I do have at least a little dignity and if I can't write a post of good quality, I could at least up the quantity (everyone's favorite lesson, right out the nearest window). And so, I'm going to just write out every single thought that goes through my head over the next few minutes. Am I creative or am I creative? None of the above.
Real quick since I promised: people who cut in line are jerks. Unless you're a child who can't totally comprehend the enormity of what you just did. Or if you're on the way to ER or something, but you could have asked. And I've seen people genuinely cut without realizing they did. They're excused.
(I just got off the phone with a doctor from the obgyn practice I go to. The doctor who called me isn't my usual doctor. She suggested I take Motrin or Advil for some pain I have.)
I hate endometriosis. She said I should take Advil or Motrin but my doctor said only Tylenol, and I can't take that because of my liver. What the fuck. Maybe I should just do it and take the Advil. But then again do I really want to die on the operating table Tuesday? Who am I kidding, I'm not going to die. That'd be simple. I'll probably have to end up being opened and have fucking cancer or something. Wow I am like a whiny child right now. I should probably be less like that. Then again, I do have horrendous luck. I'm sitting with my legs crossed. Maybe I shouldn't do that because I'm having surgery and I probably shouldn't increase my chances of blood clots. Then again, this is not Tuesday and people sit with their legs crossed ALL THE TIME. I'm a lady, dammit! Though my legs aren't crossed in a lady-like way. Why is it lady-like to cross you legs anyway? Ohhhhh probably the skirts. I hate skirts. Even if I wasn't fat my legs would still rub together when I wear skirts because I have low arches. Thanks for not fixing that when I was little, mom. Pants are nicer anyway. You can do more in them. If I had to run from someone I'd rather be in pants. Why would I need to run from someone??? I'm being ridiculous. Or am I? CONSTANT VIGILANCE. Oh man I love Harry Potter. Probably too much. Whatever. Maybe I should be reading right now instead of sitting on the computer. I should probably finish reading Wicked since I only have a few pages left. That book turned into such a disappointment though. ugh. I should just keep reading Anne of Green Gables. If I had read that as a kid I'd probably have been super jealous of Anne. Getting to move to a beautiful place and shit? You're jealous of an ORPHAN, Charlotte. You're a monster. Ohhh or like Matilda, I was always jealous of Matilda when I was little. That B got a new family AND super powers. What the Hell. I didn't get any super powers to deal with my problems. Stop. Stahhhhp. You're like 23 and reverting back to your 10 year old self and you're actually getting jealous of a fictional character. Good Lord. Hey the Lord probably wouldn't want me to be jealous of anyone, fictional or not. But maybe the Lord shouldn't have put me in my situation then. Oh shit, just kidding. That's like blasphemy or something. I take it back, God. Sorry. It's weird to be talking to God in my head. It's weird that He can hear me thinking about how He can hear me. Fuck. Oh did I pray last night? Yeah I did. Okay cool.
(After looking at the tabs I have open, I see that I still have this.)
I really, really am curious if this works. I don't know if you can fall in love with someone from answering 36 questions. Then again some of them are pretty personal. Yeah I guess it could work. I should try this with my male friends who aren't jerks. I should try it on __________! Charlotte, try it on him? He's not a lab rat, I'd have to try it WITH him. Not ON. Like Katie Holmes would say precision of language. It was Katie Holmes in The Giver, right? Oh man. I liked that movie. I mean the book was way better but the movie was intriguing. Mr. Campisi! He made us read The Giver. He was so cool. Ha, he used to love those deli potato chips. I wonder how he is doing. Oh my God, he might be dead. That's horrible!! I kind of feel bad for thinking it. Then again people die and he was old. I'm not horrible for thinking it. Oh noooooo. Mrs. Halley is probably not alive anymore either. I hope she is!! She'd be like 95. People live to 95. She was awesome. What was she, my 2nd grade teacher? Yeah pretty sure it was 2nd grade. Oh man, I remember getting into a fight in 2nd grade because that girl Shannon said Santa wasn't real. How fucking dare she. Wow I'm still sitting with my legs crossed. I'm going to end up getting a blood clot. But I always sit like this and am fine. Although I've been sitting down alllll day. I should maybe walk around and move like a normal person. I hate not having a job or life. This is getting depressing. I need to think about something else. What was I just thinking of??? I should take some Omega 3 or something.
I should go enter those giveaways on The Freckled Fox. I probably won't win though. Why is my luck so bad? Whatever. I still can't believe that blogger is only slightly older than me. I need to get a life. Kids and a husband and a house and I'm over here like oh, maybe I should write a fucking rambling blog post. Yeah, accomplishment. STOP, CHARLOTTE. Gosh you get yourself into a bad mood.
Okay, okay good mood. I should re watch that video of the baby laughing at paper being ripped or something. Or oh! The video of Bruno Mars singing Uptown Funk on Ellen. That is a damn good song. Let me cross my legs the other way for a little while, maybe that will help prevent blood clots. I need to stop freaking panicking about blood clots. Uptown Funk is incredible. Now I kind of want to dance. You can't dance, Charlotte, you are in excruciating pain. Ugh this sucks so bad. I do love Ellen Degeneres. She's hilarious. Melissa McCarthy was on her show the other day. I LOVE Melissa McCarthy. I am probably biased though because I'd love anyone from Gilmore Girls. Except the dude who plays Kirk. I do not like Kirk. I wish he hadn't been a character on that show. I love most of the other ones though. I'm so sad that the actor who played Richard Gilmore passed away. That's heartbreaking. I wonder if they'd still consider doing a movie now that he wouldn't be in it? And how would Emily react? She wanted to die first. This is devastating. That poor woman. I'm getting sad over fictional characters again. This is pathetic. I bet Emily wouldn't approve of my love of pants and hatred of skirts. She's so classy. I bet she has napkin rings. I want napkin rings. I need to save money. Is it weird that I'm including napkin rings in my list of things I want within five years? It's probably weird. It's just so I can actually picture things and have a goal to work toward. Lifelong goal: napkin rings. I am basically the definition of ambition, no? I'm grateful Fran taught me what napkin rings are. I wonder how she is. I will need to ask. Stephanie probably has her number. She has napkin rings. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I should have become an astronaut. Why didn't I become an astronaut? Or at least study science and work at NASA. That would have been amazing. Too late now. I don't know what I want to do. I really want to write but that's not completely realistic if I want to also eat and have a place to live. Low battery? Damn it. Now I have to get up to get the cord. Well maybe I'll decrease the chance of blood clots by standing.
Wow it's 3:00pm. I should eat something. I can't eat something. I'd probably just throw it up. I cannot wait until this health crap is over. With my luck it isn't close to over. Stop being an idiot, Charlotte. You're going to be healthy at some point. It'd be good if it's before I'm like, 25 though. I should read this fucking book. I have two books from Amazon coming. I should check their status. Those will be fun to read. I really need to read more. I'm gonna go read Anne of Green Gables now.
Wow wow wow the end.
__
Charlotte
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