In the beginning of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the book, not the movie), everyone celebrates Harry's birthday. He wakes up, goes downstairs, and opens a pile of gifts from Bill and Fleur, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the Delacours, and Hagrid. And then Ginny asks him into her room and they discuss his impending departure to go hunt horcruxes. Ginny is worried about his safety. And since it's Harry's birthday, she wants to give him something.
She says this: "I'd like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela while you're off doing whatever you're doing."
He tells her he thinks dating opportunities will be slim when he's gone.
And then Ginny says, "There's the silver lining I've been looking for." She leans in and kisses him.
This is really embarrassing but also really hilarious so I'm going to share it.
When I first read this, I imagined a literal silver lining. I pictured her looking past Harry, seeing some piece of fabric with a silvery color on her dresser or something, and reaching for it - giving her an excuse to lean in and kiss Harry.
Judge me. I'm judging me.
(My reading comp/writing scores were not that high when I took the SAT.)
But all is well with the world and I've since become familiar with the meaning of "silver lining" the saying, not the literal fucking fabric.
Note to self: When you have kids, read to them every night so they don't end up like you.
I'd like to take a second to talk about how kind-hearted I am, sharing that mucho embarrassing story so that others may experience the joy of laughter.
Ahem.
Moving on. Silver linings. Okay.
Yesterday I shared a post about my plans to go back to school, get a second bachelor's, and get a master's.
The post went up late at night and I woke up in the morning to a few new messages in my inbox. Mostly well wishes, friends telling me they like my plan or that they have confidence in me. Some cautious optimism and words of advice. Warnings of the amount of work it'll take (accompanied by encouragement! no worries!), etc., etc.
But I also got a couple of messages from friends expressing surprise/worry over the idea of moving back to Long Island. And I agree. This does make me nervous. I've noticed that when I'm on LI I drive between 10-20 mph more than I usually do. I have road rage when I'm on LI. I curse a lot.
Basically, I am so stressed out when I'm there. My past is filled with toxic people and I get nervous just knowing I'm in the same vicinity as them.
But I'm also a grown ass woman now and have a better handle on myself. I know I can't live with my immediate family. I can stop by and see my siblings, but I need to know I have somewhere else to go. My friend's family is letting me stay with them and instead of feeling guilty I'm accepting the offer (IF I move back - still need to contact the college).
I know my own warning signs. I've picked up on what habits I fall back to when my mood is going downhill. And, usually, I know what to do to stop myself. And I've gotten much better with asking for help.
And then there's the genuine good things about living on Long Island. The silver linings alluded to in the title of this post and the embarrassing HP story.
- Over the last six years, I've seen Olivia, my oldest friend, maybe 15 times. On LI, I'd see her all the time. (Brace yourself, Liv.)
- The majority of the people I'm closest to live in New York - some on LI, some in Albany. Albany may be four hours away, but that's an easy drive. Currently it's a twelve hour drive... not something I can do on any random weekend.
- The beach! I haven't been swimming in the ocean in years. Being able to go to the beach whenever I want will be nice.
- I'll be close to NYC.
- The food on LI is better than the food in most other places.
- I can play tennis with my old friend, Dana. (This is much better than playing against a brick wall.)
- I prefer the medical care in NY. And I already have doctors there.
Those are the main things that come to mind. So yes, it might be stressful if I move to LI. But if I pay attention to myself and take the right steps to avoid certain situations, there's a lot of great stuff there, too.
__
Charlotte
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