The Man Chronicles: An Introduction

Welcome to The Man Chronicles, a series at THL.  Or more accurately, an "occasional series" because my dating life is very Miranda Hobbes circa her panic attack aka sources for post subjects are scarce.  I really get my flirt on with the Chinese food guy, though.   

Series motto (for now!), methinks: "Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?"

There are three things in life that I often wish I enjoyed more: summer, wearing heels, and dating.  

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Rock on, hypothetical Charlotte. 

Unfortunately, I can't go out in the summer without burning, I just can't do high heels, and, to the point of this post, I hate hate hate dating.  I find it so uncomfortably awkward and I'm not into dating for fun.  I kind of wish you could magically be placed smack dab in the middle of a serious relationship and not have to endure (or "enjoy" depending on the amount of liquid in the glass...) dating first.  

But that's not how it works! so I've had to suck it up and now I'm going to go ahead and share these grand experiences with you, all three of my readers.  (That said, not everyone on here will be someone I've dated.  It's "The Man Chronicles" not "The Guys I've Dated Chronicles" so.) 

A Summary of Me 

Yesterday I was playing basketball with my cousins and sisters.  On the court next to us there were a bunch of guys around my age playing a game.  One of the kids missed a pass and our ball was rolling into their court so, without really thinking, I said, 

"Ball!  Ball!  Don't trip and fall!"

Dammit, Char.  DOES EVERYTHING NEED TO RHYME?!

This is one reason I'm single.

Another reason?  I almost never make a move or display interest.  This breaks down like so: 

25% "I'm the girl!  I don't want to make the first move!" / 75% issues with rejection.  

I know no one likes to be rejected, but after an entire childhood of it, I really, really struggle with getting past it.  Sometimes I do, but it takes a lot of effort.  

Also, the lackluster amount of self confidence doesn't help.  Working on it, though.

I'm sure there's more to it, but I think that covers the basics.  Dating just is not my thing.  It comes very easily to some people, I know.  And the amount of people who have told me, "You're young! Have fun!  Go on dates!" probably numbers in the double digits.  

Lest you think I'm a total fun-sucking bore - while the prospect as a whole is almost never thrilling or exciting for me, I do manage to have fun on individual dates.  Worry not. 

"What do you want in a man?"  

I admit I roll my eyes a little when people answer this question with a massive list of perfect qualities.  I mean I get wanting perfection, but... I also don't want to die alone, so, I ditched that idea looong ago.  There are, though, a few things that I guess I look for in a man.  I'd prefer a sense of humor.  I'd like someone who thinks about the world.  I know this is absolutely 100% ridiculous, but I don't think I'd ever consider a serious relationship with a Red Sox fan.    

I know that none of the following things usually come up in the first couple dates, but if we're talking long run:

I wouldn't want to get serious with someone who doesn't care about politics.  I don't mean on a daily basis or someone with a wealth of info on politics  - those things don't matter as much to me.  But if you know about poverty and don't care about it, or if you know about racism and don't care about it I'm not interested.  That basically boils down to caring about other people.  I firmly believe that we're all supposed to see each other as brothers and sisters.  So if a guy only cared about himself and his own friends and family, I wouldn't really be interested.  (I feel the same way toward friends.  All of my closest friends are people who deeply care about other people.)   

I'm Catholic.  I'm okay being with a non-Catholic, but it's important that the guy is okay with that.  

Basic kindness.

I wouldn't get serious-serious with someone who didn't want kids.  I totally respect the decision, but I want them and you can't really compromise between not wanting to bring little humans into the world and very much wanting to bring little humans into the world.

There are other things that come to mind, but those are what stand out most to me.

The Characters so Far

I'm not going to talk about every man I've ever flirted with, but there are seven or so guys that have, for better or for worse, been seared into my memory.  

(Of course, all names have been changed.  BUT I picked names similar in style to their real names because I'm nutty like that.)

I'm going to group Matt and Jay together because neither lasted long and both were around high school/the first year of college.  I never really dated either, but I guess I "talked to" (ugh so annoying) them both and there are awkward but funny stories for each.  I'll share those tomorrow.  

Chuck, my first technical "date."  

Michael, the guy who showed potential but then things got weird and it was awful because not only were we in the same class, but we were on the same team within that class, so there was no avoiding each other. 

Alex, a really nice guy who was my friend but then we had shared interest in each other... but never put a label on it and................... just again things got weird.  But, still friends.  

Jake, a recent/sometimes current man of interest.

and

John, a man I don't really have a crush on.  But sometimes I picture us married. 

Stay tuned. 

__

Charlotte 

Later posts in this series:

The Man Chronicles: Matt and Jay