The Man Chronicles: Michael

Welcome to The Man Chronicles, a series at THL.  Or more accurately, an "occasional series" because my dating life is very Miranda Hobbes circa her panic attack aka sources for post subjects are scarce.  I really get my flirt on with the Chinese food guy, though.   

Series motto (for now!), methinks: "Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?"

Check out other installments here. 

We left off with Matt and Jay, which was a real bore-fest (and creep-fest in the case of Jay).  

But luckily, things spice up a bit with Michael.  A very little bit. 

* * * 

I met Michael in a political science class my first semester of college.  The class was huge but the professor broke us up into teams, so we were forced to make friends, ugh.  (Mostly kidding.)  So he and I ended up being put in the same group and we got along really well.  He was a nice guy, he could carry a conversation well enough, and he was somewhat funny.  He didn't make the funniest jokes in the world, but he laughed at everyone else's, so that's something.  He was very easy going and likable.  

You know how groups will schedule study sessions or projects and then only two or three people show up?  That happened a few times, which meant I had a couple one-on-one conversations with Michael (I'm going to start calling him Mike now because full name sounds too formal..) and we became friends.  And then things got REAL and we became Facebook friends, woah.  So we often chatted online, we saw each other on the quad all the time, and we talked in class and in group meet-ups.  There was definitely flirting, but nothing that really suggested interest in a relationship at that point.  And then one night, I had just taken a shower so I was in less than glamorous pajamas (leggings and a sweatshirt ftw) and I'm pretty sure I had just thrown my hair up in a bun instead of doing anything with it when our Facebook convo went something like this: 

"Yeah I'm just going to watch a movie." 

"Oh that sounds fun." 

"Yeah, you can come over and watch one some time."

"Okay!  You live in Montauk Hall, right?  I'll be over in a few."

"Uh..... okay yeah."

You're coming here?  Now?  Why?

So yes.  I wasn't mad, but I wasn't looking forward to it, either.  It felt like a self-invite and I had totally planned on spending the night watching crappy movies and chatting with my friends.  There went those plans.  

So he came over, we watched Valkyrie in the most awkward way ever - he sat on my bed, I sat on my desk chair, and then... he didn't leave?  

I didn't say anything or ask him to leave, but I was just so over it (I looked like crap, I couldn't watch my movies, etc.) but then he just kind of laid down on the bed, grabbed the remote, and put TV on.  I believe we watched The Terminator?  Or the end of it?  And then it was over and I was like, "Okay, I'll see ya!"  And I suppose he finally got it because he stood up to leave.  

My God, the next two minutes we the most awkward of.. that semester.  

He stood up, faced me, and just STOOD THERE.  Didn't do anything.  So there we were, just standing there and then he went to hug me.  Fine, whatever.  I'll hug.  Weird, but okay.  

So we hug and then this dude just KEEPS STANDING THERE, AGAIN.  And in my head I'm just like, "What do you want?  I need to go to bed, please leave."  (In an amused sort of way, not an angry way.)  

Then he leans in and hugs me again and I'm starting to wonder if he's okay?  Maybe is he dying?  Is he sick?  Does he think we'll never see each other again?  Should I call back up?  

Mostly I'm being dramatic, but really.. 

So then that hug ends and, because we're all fond of patterns, he once again stands there.  

BUT THEN he leans in, differently, and it hits me, this mother effer wants to kiss.  I'm all for it, except, well no, I'm not.  Two hours ago I thought we were just friends and then what?  Valkyrie transforms us into more-than-friends?  I wasn't really feeling it, plus I'm not great with relationships as is, so my literal thought process was, "Oh.  He wants to make out.  Gross."  

I'm so lovely.

(Lest any potential man is reading and thinks I am against kissing - I AM NOT.  Just wasn't feeling this.) 

I wasn't about to make out though, so it was short and simple and then finally he left and I could have some peace and quiet.    

Obviously, I called one of my best friends, Dana.  I told her the whole story, and then, because we really were meant to be friends, she goes,

"Ew, gross, he kissed you?  Did he stick his tongue down your throat?"

I think I said something like yes we kissed but EW, NO.

Related aside: I once read an interview with Zac Efron in which he says he hates when people use too much tongue while kissing, and that an ideal kiss involves only a little bit of tongue.  I wholeheartedly agree.  Maybe I should date Zac Efron?  

HAHAHA

So yes, Mike. He went back to his own dorm and then sent me a Facebook message about having fun and said we were like twins because of similar interests and I just sat in my chair, bemused.  Twins?  I think maybe if we're kissing we should figure out a different way to convey that we have some shared interests.  

Things were a little awkward for a few days and the next weekend my suitemates and I were having a little shindig.  He texted me a few times and I told him he was more than welcome to come by, but he was insistent that I leave and go to his room.  I politely said no, but he kept on keeping on, so I stopped answering his texts.  But then he called a few times and I got so annoyed.  He said some really rude things and then told a mutual friend he was pissed I wouldn't go there and sleep with him and I pretty much cut things off there.  (This made class really fun.)  I don't really harbor any ill will toward him, though I thought the way he acted that weekend was.. less than classy?  

There's some regret or "what if" thoughts with some of the guys I've talked to, but definitely not with Mike.  Again, I don't feel negatively about him or toward him, I just don't think a relationship with him was in the cards anyway.  All is well with that one.  

Next up: Nice guy Chuck. 

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Charlotte