Monday, August 31, 2015

August into September | 2015

This is old but I love it and I'm excited for fall.
September.  September!  This month has got my <3.  

I'm so excited for weather with tolerable temperatures.  For the apple festival coming up.  For the days of wearing sweaters.  Autumn is my power season, for sure.  

But this post is supposed to talk about last month.

Ehhhh, last month.  The loneliness of living 12 hours from childhood friends and 16+ hours from the city I lived in for almost six years has hit me pretty hard lately.  I have no friends here.  And I feel like I don't even talk to my friends via social media or phone as much as I used to anymore.  It's not a good feeling.  It's actually like a crushing feeling.    

Moving on. 

1. Medicine

Finally, I was able to start BC again and hopefully it'll kick in before next month because really, I'm over the pain.  

For much of the month, if I wasn't having severe pain I was having dull aches.  And I've had the joy of daily shooting pains down my legs and I think it's related to endo.  And oh man, the nausea and vomiting.  Luckily though, I didn't need to make any trips to the ER this last month.  I know birth control isn't a real solution and that it's just temporary (and I have no clue what I'll do when I'm married) but for now I'm so glad for the relief I'll soon get.  So, so glad. 

2. The first chapter of my book

This is exciting!  I have talked about wanting to write a book for such a long time.  I've finally actually started the real-deal.  I've done a few little things here and there over the last few years, but something feels different this time.  It's more thought out, I'm more consistent about working on it.  I mean, what I've got isn't great, but it's a start.
_____________________________________

Books!  

I haven't read a ton, but I do feel like I've picked up the pace over the last couple of months.  This month's reads included: 

The Tales of Beedle the Bard, finally (loved!)
The Christmas Grandma Ran Away From Home by Nancy Warren (don't judge me too hard - also, it was not great, it had basically no plot) 
The Martian by Andy Weir - SO SO SO GREAT 
The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie - also great!  

(and a [very] short story, 2 B R 0 2 B, by Kurt Vonnegut)

So that brings my total of books read this year to around 20.  I'm probably going to fall short of my goal of 40-50, but it's more than I normally read so I'm happy.  
____________________________________ 

Randoms. 

I'm watching the Yankee game as I write this.  So far these clowns have had 18 men on base and only have two runs.  Shameful. 

I'm going crazy.  Aside from being hella lonely, I don't enjoy feeling like an unproductive waste of space.  Sure, I think we focus on "work" too much, but it's been a while since I've had a steady job and I'd just like to feel like a human again.  Every day I have to try and think of things to do (I love reading and writing but staying idle all day is not fun).  It's not the best of situations.  Mainly it's caused by my health issues, but I'm starting to think of putting off thinking about surgery.  If I'm on BC most of my symptoms subside (at least for most of the month) and so maybe I can work... I mean there are occasional bad days but I just don't know what to do.  The surgery isn't definite and there's no timeline yet and I can't just keep putting everything else off.  (Also, one of my goals was to reach out to UNC and Atlanta about the surgeries.  I've reached out to one but not the other.  I'm thinking of scrapping the UNC idea completely, and pursuing Atlanta from NY.  Because again: unbearably lonely and very bored.)

Liz just sent me this on Facebook, captioned, "You." 


Me for sure.  Think of all the exciting things I could do!  Like live!  And go to the dentist!  Woo! 

I'm going back to NY soon and it's stressing me out.  Excited for the proximity to my friends, but scared of living with my family again.

I mentioned loving September and autumn earlier - two big reasons are sports and tv.  Football!  The exciting part of baseball!  And as for tv shows... I'm not a huge television person, but I do have a few shows I watch.  I love Grey's Anatomy, The Mindy Project (which I won't be able to watch since it moved to Hulu - death), and Once Upon a Time.  I recently rewatched the last episodes of Grey's and Once in anticipation and I. am. so. ready.
____________________________________ 

Looking at last month's goals.... I actually achieved most of them.  Woah.  I did not line up a primary, but I have been doing research.  I was sick so couldn't swim or play basketball as much as I'd like, but I made sure to work out every day.  When I'm not feeling well I take advantage of those little windows of pain-free time and just exercise in my room a bit.  Nothing hard core, but it's something.  I wrote blog posts an average of three times a week, so I'm only one post away from my goal.  And I ate fast food a couple of times, but it was because I was on the road.  15 hour long road trips usually require fast food. I read more than I wanted to!  Woot.  I wrote to my friends and tried to take more pictures.  :)  Happy happy. 
____________________________________ 

Goals for September  

Read six books 

Go to church at least once, slacker

Make plan for registering for spring classes

Plan Albany trip 

Enjoy Apple Festival 

Lose at least seven pounds

Figure out details of the move back to NY 


All smiles and no misery. 
__
Charlotte 

Friday, August 28, 2015

Living in This World

I made the thirteen hour drive up to New York a few months ago.  My sister and cousins were almost done with school and they wanted to spend the summer in the North Carolina mountains.  They looked forward to swimming in waterfalls and going in caves and hiking near (but not too near!) cliffs.  

As we left for the long drive home, I worried.  I had a fifteen year old, an eleven year old, a ten year old, and an eight year old - all crammed into my Subaru.  A wonderful car and spacious enough for me, but we're talking about little girls constrained in their seats for over thirteen hours.  I prepared for an exhausting drive.  There were a few squabbles but we were okay.  

Halfway through the trip I surprised myself by *shudder* waking them up from a nap.  I'm the oldest of eight - I know you never wake sleeping children.  Especially if some of them are cranky preteens.  Especially on a long drive.  But the sky was beautiful.  The clouds behind the mountains were breathtaking, and I wanted them to see that kind of thing.  

"Girls, wake up.  Look at the sky, it's so pretty!  Look at the clouds!"

The eight year old - about the spunkiest, funniest child you will ever meet - looked at the clouds, looked at me, cocked her eyebrow, and asked, "Look at the clouds?"

"Yes!  Look at them!  They're amazing!" 

And then, in her very best (aka natural) NY accent, "Why?  What, are they talkin' to ya?" 

Little shit.

I mention this story because it's the kind of thing I want to hold on to for later.  

_____________________________

By now everyone knows about the most recent shooting, the one in which a journalist and a cameraman were killed while they were filming a live interview.  The one in which the killer recorded his crime and posted the video on his social media accounts.    

I'm horrified, and I think most people are horrified, but.... it's not surprising.  When these things happen (all the time), I'm devastated and angry and not at all surprised.  It's a terrible thing.  

My friend Joe and I were talking earlier.  He's got a beautiful baby nephew and it kills him that this boy is growing up in a world where massacres are commonplace.  (His brother wrote a poignant piece here.)  It's overwhelming.  

I can't help but agree.  My youngest sibling is six.  She's a first grader now.  The next, Tommy, is eight.  Normally I'd just worry about them running in a backyard where there are pointy sticks.  But nearly three years ago a man walked into an elementary school and killed twenty small children.  Parenting is scary enough.  Being around kids is scary enough.  They're adventurous and clumsy - two things that don't mix well!  Shooting sprees should not have to be on any parent's radar.  Even if, God willing, these kids are never in physical danger during a shooting - how do you try and talk about the world?  It's not just the physical harm, it's the weight.  Kids think the world is magic.  How do you look them in the eyes when something like this happens and assure them that yes, the world is good?  How do we convince ourselves?

Joe told me this morning that he's scared of having kids in this world.  I am too.  And every friend I've asked feels the same.

I think it's important to mention this: I have black friends and cousins who have felt like this much longer than I've had to.  When a black boy was killed (I don't remember who it was - that seems crass, but given the situation of rampant killings of black people, I can't soften it with words) and there was national outcry, a friend of mine wrote that she was scared of motherhood.  Black kids are killed far too often - why have a baby, why raise a son just for him to be shot by vigilantes or police? Two of my cousins have black babies - one boy and two girls - I don't know how they handle the grief, the knowledge that their kids are at risk every time they walk down the street.  

The struggle is felt differently by some of us and we need to acknowledge it.  We're all intertwined and we need each other if we're going to change this world.   

Even without the extra burden felt by people with kids in their lives, it's scary.  I'm nervous when I go to the movies - never used to be, but I am now.   We can't go to the mall, to work, or even to church without fearing for our lives.  Literally, our lives are at stake.  

I don't have a solution.  Although I'd like to put forward a few thoughts: 

  • The right to live is more important than the right to kill
  • It's appalling that the massacre at Sandy Hook wasn't the last straw. 
  • Unlike other things people use as weapons, guns are made specifically for killing people.  That's their purpose.  We shouldn't ignore it. 
  • Arming more people will almost definitely lead to more deaths, not less. 

Of course, I think changes need to happen on a national scale.  But for ourselves and especially for le bebes who are still sweet and innocent and whose perceptions of the world haven't been shattered, there are other things I try to do. 

Like point out the fucking pretty clouds.  

It's terrifying, because society has essentially deemed these shootings acceptable.  The amount of people who want to cling to guns instead of just having a discussion is astounding.  So we try and see the beauty in the world, we try and teach kids (and remind ourselves) that every person is a precious gift.  But that can end in a second, and it's okay because..... our guns.  Don't touch our guns.  And worse, don't even talk about our guns. 

But honestly, I think it's important to keep fighting the good fight anyway. 

My buddy Paul (who we jokingly refer to as the big brother I never wanted) recently was attacked on the internet because he suggested the life of a criminal was worth something.  A man in NY shot at two officers who were apprehending him (they are okay, thank God) and they shot back, killing him.  As the media was vilifying this man's whole life, Paul simply said that this man had value - not justifying his actions, just stating the plain truth that a man is more than just his mistakes.  And people were pissed.

I personally love Paul a little more for it.  What his remarks boil down to is the absolute truth that every person has intrinsic moral worth.  

I don't know what I'm getting at other than I think a good way to cope with and fight against such a senselessly violent world is to love other people.  

Look at how some of the presidential candidates talk about immigrants.  These are influential men who are using their power to dehumanize millions of people.  Donald Trump has called immigrants "unwanted people."  He's made them out to be monsters, and people believe him.  For me, resisting this kind of thinking is important.  When my eight year old cousin is devastated because she's heard about a man being beaten because he's Hispanic, I feel hopeless.  But I can look at her and honestly tell her, "No, baby, this isn't normal and it isn't okay.  That man and his life are precious and important."  

When Osama bin Laden was killed, I was ecstatic.  I celebrated.  This sickens me now.  Sure it might have been just, but the loss of life isn't something worth celebrating, ever.  I know that now.  How do we maintain that zeal for defending life in a country that loves war so much?

I want to always remind myself that everyone's life is valuable.  That knowledge keeps me raw.  I want my cousins and siblings to know that everyone has worth.  I don't want to hide it when I'm devastated at the news of these shootings - I want them to see adults cry so that they know murder is not supposed to be a normal occurrence.  When I have kids I want them to know that every day is a gift, that they should look at the clouds and climb trees and pick up rocks.  I want them to know that even in a handful of dirt they're sure to find something beautiful.  Hell, I want my adult friends to always remember all this.  

Why?  None of those things can take back the violence that's already happened.  But when we appreciate just how meaningful everything and everyone around is, it's overwhelming.  A good kind of overwhelming.  But it's also life-changing.  When you see those 11 million people as miracles, and precious brothers and sisters, the dehumanizing dialogue falls away.  When you see a suspect in a picture flanked by his children instead of in an orange jumpsuit, you're not going to applaud his death.  

My point is, I guess, that being mindful of all the people and beauty around us can soften hearts.  

And maybe then we'd be less inclined to cling to our guns, and more inclined to build a better world for ourselves and our children.         
__
Charlotte 

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Person: Stephanie


Ohhhh Stephanie.

Stephanie is one of my very favorite people.  She's so much fun, but she's also very driven and responsible and so she's got this natural ability to make the people around her better.  

It's pretty cool.  

She and I met when we became suite mates our first year of college. 

If I remember correctly, we are both 100% sober in this.  I almost didn't include it because my face is awful, but had to because it cracks me up real hard.  Whatever, at least I look good south of my neck.  (As someone who shows as little skin as possible now, looking at this picture I'm simultaneously like "damn, get it girl" and "Charlotte wtf, you heathen, cover up.") 

We lived in different buildings sophomore year, but I suppose we just couldn't keep living without each other because we opted to get an apartment together (and with one other friend!) for the remainder of our college years.  Our friendship lasted despite a very bad haircut given to me by Steph in which I had varying levels of bangs.  Very bad. 

There's something really wonderful and beautiful about living with someone for years.  You have to be a grown up and think about others and be mature (and all that dreadful shit).  We never really fought, but we disagree on a few things and I know I annoyed Stephanie many a time while we lived together and she annoyed me a few times and instead of it ruining our friendship it made it stronger.  I think we both learned to be more empathetic, to be mindful, and to compromise.  If necessary we'd have a heart to heart, try and change a bit, and move on.  I'm sure that doing those kind of things make us better people and relationships better.  (You know, the whole "through thick and thin" thing.)  

For the most part, living with Stephanie was awesome.  We had so much fun.  There wasn't anything particularly bad about it, though I do laugh thinking back to the days when we'd eat lasagna or mac and cheese for dinner every night for a week.  (When I lived alone, I meal planned, but I broke the meals up and froze them so that I could have variety.  Stephanie would make a huge tray of homemade mac and cheese and throw it in the fridge.. and that's what we'd eat.  For a week.  Ah, Steph <3) 

Steph is very motivated and... I don't even know.  I suppose she's like a mini-Oprah.  She'd try to do yoga, she'd make green smoothies, she used to have "dream boards" etc etc.  She was the poster child for all those "ways to enrich your life and be happy" books and websites.  Naturally, she'd try to get us on board.  I'd be like: 

"I'm not going to do yoga with you but yes!  I'll walk to the library."
"Is this green smoothie just celery?  Maybe can we have a less-green smoothie?"
"OKAY YES!  ARTS AND CRAFTS!  I WILL MAKE A DREAM BOARD POSTER." 

She was a very good influence on me.  


  
Stephanie can be..... blunt.  Brutally honest.  I like honesty, I just aim to soften it sometimes.  I remember one day we were all sitting in our apartment and I said, "I need to lose a tremendous amount of weight."  

She replied, "Yeah, you really do."  

DAMN, STEPH.  

I wasn't hurt by it, I was just taken aback.  I think I laughed and told her I'd appreciate a slight filter, though I do always want her honest opinion.  When I know I need a reality check or I'm unsure of whether I'm doing the right thing, Stephanie is one of the first people I go to for an opinion.

She's occasionally spontaneous, but for the most part she likes to have things planned.  Or she looks for a reason to do something.  (I think, after living with each other, she became a little more spontaneous and I became a little more responsible.  I'd get momentarily excited about something and insist we do it, and she'd be like, "Charlotte, we both have huge projects due this week, we both are broke, and it's zero degrees outside.  Maybe we should fly a kite another time.")

Fun fact about Steph: She does not like the cold. 

Though she may not be the absolute most spontaneous person on earth, she's always down for (eager, even) going on an adventure.

Our personalities and interests are similar in that we're both just slightly boring.  You know, bed early, movies/books over partying (most of the time). 

She's infuriatingly good at pretty much everything she does.  I swear, I've never seen her set a goal and not reach it.  Wants to play guitar?  Teaches self to play guitar.  Wants to invest in stock market?  Reads about it and invests.  Wants to knit?  Learns to knit.  Wants to get into great nursing school?  Gets into great nursing school. 

Ugh, vomit in my mouth. 

I have fond memories of movie nights, library trips, fishing trips, and so much more.  We had so much fun, man.  During Christmas we got in the car, bought hot chocolate, put on Christmas music, and drove around looking at all the Christmas lights.  There was one house that was just beautifully done so we (creepily?) wrote down their address and sent them a Christmas card telling them how nice their house looked and that it made us happy.

We were both hired by the same company once and could not stop cracking up during the group portion of the hiring process.  Luckily it was just us, one other girl, and the woman who interviewed us, who laughed along with us.  (I think it boiled down to me making one bad joke, Steph laughing at me for making the bad joke, and then... neither of us getting over it.)

I'm completely comfortable around Steph (no choice after sharing an apartment with one bathroom) and I'm fairly certain she feels the same way.  I can hardly believe we've known each other for over six years, but we've already established that she's the Godmother for my first kid and that, while it probably won't happen, it'd be so much fun to live next to each other.  


Steph sent me a birthday card once and wrote that she didn't think she'd have loved or enjoyed Albany as much as she does if it weren't for me and my insistence that we do things (and my annoying habit of pointing at things and being like "LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS" even while operating heavy machinery).  I was touched but I also think she's crazy to not realize that she's half the reason I'm even like that.  To put it plainly, Stephanie can be a pushy mother effer.  I had some serious lows depression-wise during college, and she'd make me do all these things.  We'd go to concerts on campus, poetry slams, even the occasional game.  Also, walks.  Ugh she'd make me go on so many walks.  But a lot of that stuff forced me to develop similar habits.  So yes, I guess I helped Albany become a great place for her, but it's really only because of her that I'm like that.   

She is also the one that introduced me to chicken tikka masala, so I'm sort of indebted to her forever. 

I can't wait for the next 6x10 years of friendship.  

xoxo. 
__
Charlotte 

Monday, August 24, 2015

The Man Chronicles: Chuck


Welcome to The Man Chronicles, a series at THL.  Or more accurately, an "occasional series" because my dating life is very Miranda Hobbes circa her panic attack aka sources for post subjects are scarce.  I really get my flirt on with the Chinese food guy, though.   

Series motto (for now!), methinks: "Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?" 

Before I write this, I want everyone to know that I just went to mail some letters to my friends.  I needed stamps on all but one of the envelopes, so I handed that one to the man behind the counter and told him it was all set.  He looked at the stamp - it was of Professor McGonagall - and he said, "That's an awesome stamp!"  I then noticed that his brown shirt was not actually just a brown shirt, but a Chewbacca shirt.  I was going to tell him I liked it, but I worried that we'd exceed the acceptable level of geekiness.  (Also, I was nervous.) 

Point is, I walked out of there like, "Damn, what if he was my soulmate?  Why didn't I compliment his shirt and/or ask him out?  Come on, Char." 

Because you know, same taste in literature and movies means LOVE. 

source
Yes.  Logic.  

Reality be more like: 

source
But, on to Chuck. 

Ah, Chuck.  A memorable date. 

My one and only talent (and I'm not even that spectacular at it) is being funny.  I was given many opportunities to put this talent on display my sophomore year of college because I was very depressed and not handling it well, so I was always late to class.  And when I was late to class I got called on to answer questions much more frequently than normal.  And since there was nary a class that got my full attention, I didn't always know the answers to these questions.  So, like with most hard topics in life, I had to avoid the question at hand by making some sort of funny remark.  

Chuck sat right in front of me in one of those classes, and I guess my often-macabre sense of humor (it was a criminal justice class - this kind of humor was appropriate) charmed him because he asked me out in a painfully awkward Facebook chat.  You know, "Hey, so we should get together."  "Oh, like to study for criminal justice?" "Well... yeah but also like we should hang out."  "Oh, okay yeah I guess we can hang out after."  "No, I mean do you want to go get coffee or something?"  

I wasn't 100% sure he was asking me on a date until I asked my friends to decipher whether or not he was asking me on a date.  

(Male readers - specify!!!  It's so awkward to go to dinner, lunch, the movies, etc without knowing for certain whether or not it was supposed to be a date.  [...I've asked guys to "hang out" with intended vagueness so I'm a little bit of a hypocrite, but I'm a fan of the old-school man asking the woman on the first real date, so...])

Back to Chuck.  

So I agreed to the date, but I probably shouldn't have.  At the time I was not super interested in dating, and the one person I was interested in was... not Chuck.  I don't think that physical attraction is necessary for a first date, but I think it helps and well, there was none.  Or at least, I don't know how he felt but I was not attracted to him.  Obviously people can develop attraction over time, but I went on this date even though I didn't really want to, I wasn't interested in a relationship, and there wasn't an ounce of physical attraction to help.  Which all meant... I went into it with sort of a bad attitude.  But he was such a nice guy, so I didn't want to say no.  

The day of, I tried to be less pessimistic about it.  "Hey, free coffee, a nice guy - it could be fun."  

Except it wasn't.  I don't really know why.  There was no chemistry and we spent about half an hour talking about cartoons (and not even the cool cartoons) and then another hour talking about more stuff and just.. it didn't work out.  He was very nice, I like to think I was pleasant even though I wasn't interested, the coffee was fine.  But the date simply sucked.  

He drove me back to my car and he went to park and get out, but I didn't want to do the whole thing with him opening the door for me so I grabbed my bag, said, "Right here is fine, thanks" and took my seat belt off.  I took the handle and turned to say goodbye when he leaned in to kiss me.  I pulled the door handle and backed out of there so fast I almost fell ass backwards out of the car.  I felt a little bad but it was clear to me that I didn't want to date him and so I wasn't going to kiss the guy, especially since I knew then that he was still interested.

This is the part of the story in which I'm a huge jerk.


The date wasn't enjoyable for me, but I suppose it was for him because he kept pursuing me.  And instead of being mature, I kept putting the conversation off.  He'd ask me if I wanted to "hang out" (SPECIFY, DAMMIT) and I'd tell him I was busy studying.  He'd suggest going to the movies and I'd go back to LI for the weekend.  So for probably a month I kept up the "oh yeah, maybe later, I'm busy" thing and I'm sure it wasn't fun for him and I regret it now.  I wish I'd have been more thoughtful and just told him I wasn't interested instead of letting him think I might have been into him, but was just incredibly busy.  

Ugh, Charlotte. 

If Chuck ever reads this: I'm sorry!  I was a jerk.  You were very nice. 

Lesson learned: 

Communicate your damn feelings.   

Til next time. 
__
Charlotte 

Sunday, August 23, 2015

link love


Everyone's leastfavorite post - this week's links (as always, some may be old things that I just now stumbled upon):


Funny....... but sad because it's probably true.  Unless we really are on the cusp of a political revolution (it does sort of feel like it to me). 


I love this.  It's sorta longer than I expected, but the happiness is palpable. 


Kudos to them.  


Austerity is bad and has never worked.  Also it's exacerbating mental illness. 


Loved this! 


This was fun!  It's like a Buzzfeed quiz.  I got Don Bosco.  


So I'm all for giving people fines when they do stupid things like this.  But hunting a kid down and having him arrested for climbing the bridge?  Seems like an overreaction and a complete waste of time and resources.  


"The racist opposition is working hard to stop me from participating in the political system through voting. I do not want to give them the satisfaction of silencing my voice in that way. But, to vote means to uphold a system that is rotten at its core. To vote means to reinforce a white supremacist structure that actively, strategically and relentlessly exploits and exterminates black lives both domestically and globally."


Love this man.  Also like what he has to say about suffering. 


Quick but cool.  


This was excellent.  Somehow, it is more entertaining than the debate itself. 


Ah.  This makes me uneasy because 1. I sometimes sneak candy and 2. privacy issues... but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me feel a little bit better.  (Though yes, any man can probably still carry a gun in his pants.)


Trump and some of his supporters insist that the way he speaks is perfectly fine - this goes to show it isn't.  These men are bad enough on their own, but Trump needs to take his role seriously.  (Well, really he needs to just drop out, but you know.)  But it's okay - these guys are just passionate


Moms write tinder bios for their kids and it's pretty great.  


I think this is my favorite HP theory, too. 


Heyyy I've had some of these.  And been some of these!  


More ways the system is trying to keep black people down. 

That was longer than usual.  

Also, I should read less Buzzfeed.  
__
Charlotte 


Thursday, August 20, 2015

Being a Catholic and a Progressive

is FUN.

I'm by no means an expert on Catholicism, and I've only recently jumped back into it.  What I write here is what I believe to be true based on everything I've read and researched, but if you're a better Catholic than I and you see that I've gotten something wrong (or right!) feel free to let me know!   

In all honesty, I think being Catholic is really compatible with being progressive.  Many of my positions on social and political issues are heavily influenced by my faith and my belief in the authority of the Church.  There are two issues that make it difficult, but more on that in a minute.  First I want to talk real quick about why it makes sense.  

The Role of Money/Economics

Every true progressive I know adheres to a sort of Keynesian economics, at least.  They believe the government ought to invest in people.  Many progressives - including myself - would go so far as to support a sort of socialism.  This sounds ridiculous in this context because historically, religion has been attacked by socialists.  Of course I don't support that.  Everyone should be free to worship, and I think religion plays an invaluable role in society.  I do believe, however, that people should be paid fairly for the work they do.  That workers should have more control over what they produce.  Do I think people should have private property? Yep!  Should people with specific training and education be paid higher wages?  Yep.  But...   

Can someone make billions of dollars a year and remain morally intact?  

Probably not.  In order to make that much money, someone else is suffering.  A worker isn't being paid fairly, a child is in a sweatshop, a woman is working for thirty cents less than a man per hour.

Progressives - true progressives - resist this economic model.   

Look:   

"Money has to serve, not rule." 
"We don't want this globalized economic system which does us so much harm. Men and women have to be at the center (of an economic system) as God wants, not money."
-Papa Francisco 

Jesus called Saint Peter the rock upon which the Church would be built.  Pope Francis is a successor to Saint Peter.  As Catholics, we believe the Pope is the Vicar of Jesus Christ.  

The Vicar of Christ is telling us that people, not money, should be the center of our economic system. 

Best believe I'm gonna fight for that.  

(The argument that people matter more than money makes sense outside of faith, too, but that's another post.)

So we have a couple of options (I'm generalizing): 

1. Fiscal conservatism, which says poor people should be taxed the same as rich people (or more, for that matter) and that the government has no place spending money on social services; or 

2. Progressivism, which says the government should tax on a scale and that money should be invested into social services.  

(I want to add real quick - you cannot be a fiscal conservative and a social liberal.  Many people claim these titles together, but they are contradictory.)

For a hot minute let's keep in mind Pope Francis' words, but also look at the Corporal Works of Mercy: 

To feed the hungry.

To give drink to the thirsty.

To clothe the naked.

To shelter the homeless.

To visit the sick.

To visit the imprisoned.

To bury the dead.

In government and politics, it might look like this: 

Supporting food stamps. 

Supporting food stamps.

Supporting EBT cash/public assistance.

Supporting section 8/public housing. 

Supporting medicaid/medicare.

Supporting prison reform. 

Supporting veteran affairs. 

And so on.  Or, better yet, it might look like *a fight for a living wage, so that no one needs social services.*  

Either way, as a Catholic (and as a person with a moral compass that doesn't point straight to hell), I won't campaign or vote for politicians that threaten to cut social programs or who don't support better wages.  Historically, austerity has never worked, and I believe the path to a society where people are fed and clothed involves a fair tax system, a high minimum wage, and support for social services.  

All progressive stances.

Work - Unions, Hours, Leave, etc

Every single person is unique and has dignity and worth.

Employers should treat them as such.

When conservatives argue for keeping the minimum wage low, or for minimizing the power of unions, for stripping collective bargaining rights, or for less vacation time, for longer hours, etc, they are arguing against a culture of life and of goodness.  People can't thrive when their entire lives are spent at work.  They can't share their gifts with the world.  They can't offer themselves to others.  They can't spend time with their families.  I think God meant for us to do those things, and I keep that in mind when I vote, I keep it in mind when I sign petitions calling for higher wages, I keep it in mind when I decide which rallies to attend.

In all honesty, when it comes to the economy and to workers, democratic politicians, for the most part, are only a little better than republican politicians.  Bernie Sanders is an exception, but President Obama is a capitalist.  Hillary Clinton is a capitalist.  Joe Biden is a capitalist.  I think their policies are fairer and more aligned with my faith than the policies of republicans, but they're not great.  That said, I think most ordinary people (the non-politicians) who consider themselves progressives have ideals that match Catholic values.

But money isn't the only thing.
__________________________

For God so loved America, that He gave His only begotten Son..

Oh wait, that's not how it goes.

Here it is: "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son"

Immigration.

Countries are a thing, and I love America and apple pie and rooting for our soccer team but God made the world and I'm pretty sure He loves all of its humans equally, so let's go ahead and treat immigrants, illegal or not, like they're our own (because, uh, they are).

The Catholic Church is pro-life in every sense of the word, and that means that every single person on earth is important and has value and dignity, and the conservative view on immigration is quite the opposite of that.

Now, progressives aren't all terrific on the issue, either.  But as a whole, they're better than conservatives on immigration.  I feel confident that many Catholic priests would advise against calling children of immigrants "anchor babies."  Also I doubt they'd be supportive of detaining entire families.  Catholics have been some of the leaders in the fight to create more just, humane immigration policies.

As far as I can tell, if you're Catholic, you can't think that Americans are the best/most important people in the world.
source
__________________________

The Environment

There's been talk about this a lot lately thanks to Pope Francis' Laudato Si.

Again, the Pope (THE POPE) is telling us that we cannot remain apathetic to environmental degradation, that we cannot continue the habits of consumerism that we currently do, and that the changes brought by humans will adversely affect the poor.  Conservatives on a national scale aren't even in agreement that climate change and global warming are real.  To me, living my faith (and taking care to follow Pope Francis' lead) means acknowledging this serious problem, and working to fix it.  And voting for politicians who will take action.

Laudato Si is not just about science and global warming.  It's about rampant consumerism and the destruction of God's creation.  When I look to see which side of the spectrum will take more care to conserve and preserve earth's wonders, it's the left.  Are they doing it because they feel called to by God?  Maybe some of them, but no, not all of them.  But whether for secular or nonsecular reasons, the motives are right and the goals are admirable.  It happens to align with my faith.
__________________________

Education Policy 

I wrote a post with my thoughts on education here, if you want to check it out.  But basically (and probably due to the fact that schooling has been so badly corrupted by the drive for profits), I think most politicians have got poor education policies.  One of the main reasons I prefer *most* progressives on education is that they tend to offer less support to charter schools.  I just can't get behind charters, man.  I think that the teachers who work at them are good people, the students are great, the parents are terrific... but the concept?  No.  I'm not all about using public funding on privately-run schools that have little oversight.

But, staying on topic with how Catholicism influences my stance on education...

I think God gave us intellect and curiosity for a reason.  I think we are meant to explore everything around us, that we are meant to learn about art and music and great literature.  I firmly believe God purposely gives everyone different talents and interests.

Which means I think we should spend much more money on education, that public schools should be in beautiful buildings that inspire teachers and students alike, and that love for learning should be the goal rather than good test scores.  I believe that teaching for standardized tests means educators can't spend enough time on books, on helping students pursue their passions, on instilling curiosity instead of great memorization skills.

There aren't many politicians on the national scale calling for these things, but this kind of education system would require more money and a separation from corporations like Pearson - two things that most progressives support.
__________________________

Black Lives Matter/Policing in America

In general, it seems pretty clear that most conservatives are hesitant to support the Black Lives Matter movement.  Many of them, in fact, feel the urge to silence black people by shouting, "all lives matter!"  Not okay, man.  Similar to the capitalism/education problems, national liberal politicians are not much better.  They may not show outright opposition, but many of them fall into the category of conveniently colorblind.  (Which might be why Black Lives Matter hasn't yet endorsed anyone for president?  Makes sense.)

I do, think, however, that most progressives have better policies when it comes to the police.

Why does this matter to me as a Catholic?

I'm pro-life.  Police keep killing black people.  Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray, Eric Garner, Sandra Bland, Dontay Ivy, Michael Brown, and too many more.  These men, women, and children are just the first to pop into my head.  It's easy for most people to just spit out numbers, be horrified for a minute, and move on.  (I sometimes do this.)  But really - each of those people were made in the image of God.  Each was a brand new person who has never existed on Earth before and will never exist here again.  There literally is no one like them.  They were priceless and their lives were priceless and they were murdered by police.

So I try and vote for the politician who wants to do something about it.
__________________________

And if those were the straight-forward, Catholic-very-compatible-with-progressive positions, here are the NOT so easy issues to deal with: 

Gay marriage 

I think this might make me a not-great Catholic, but I find it really, really difficult to accept the Church's position on this.  ("But, you said you accept the Church's authority?!"  Yes.  So imagine how crappy this dilemma feels.)

I've heard all of the reasoning behind it, and it still feels wrong.  And it's like.. sometimes you rely on the Holy Spirit to help you out and give you the grace to understand... and, well, it's like I feel the opposite.  No part of me begins to feel right about banning gay marriage.  I know the Church's position and I want to always follow Church teaching, but........ ah, it just doesn't seem right.  

(Also, I 100% support the idea of government not making laws based just on religion, so I'm not comfortable voting for politicians who are against gay marriage.) 

And while I find it hard to accept the Catholic Church's position on gay marriage... 
__________________________  

I find it harder to accept the democratic position on abortion.  Don't get me wrong, I find the republican dialogue on the issue horrific.  The women-shaming, welfare-cutting positions are wrong and probably don't help to actually stop abortions from occurring.  

But I'm also kind of flummoxed that so many people support abortion.  (Though I understand why many women feel like they need them.) 

I think there's a real inconsistency on the left (many of my friends were furious about the killing of Cecil the Lion - but are fine with "ending a pregnancy" which is literally ending a human life).  Progressives are "pro-life" in so many other ways: acknowledging the moral worth of immigrants and POC, supporting labor policies that make it possible for people and families to thrive, wanting to save the earth.  Of course, many people don't believe a fetus is a human yet.  But I'm not going to throw science in the face of conservatives when we're talking about global warming and then completely ignore it when we talk about abortion.  A fetus is a human.  It is one of the earliest stages of development in a human, yes, but it's still a human.  Sure, it's how I feel as a Catholic, but it's also just science.  The dna is already there, the sex is already determined - it is already a unique human.  (Do I feel like a little bit of an asshole for writing this?  Yes - I don't want to make any of my friends who have gotten abortions feel bad.  But I think they know I love them and don't think poorly of them - I just think that we're getting this topic wrong and it's an important discussion to have.) 

I think this topic deserves its own post in light of recent events, so maybe that's something I'll hash out later this week or next.  But for now I'll say it's the one progressive stance that gives me pause.  
__________________________  

When it comes to deciding how to vote, it seems pretty clear to me.  I vote for the people I believe will fight for the right values - the dignity of every person and every worker, the preservation of the earth, the right of immigrants to build a life here, the right of black people to live.  I take gay marriage and abortion into consideration, of course.  Usually the candidate who shares my position on the economy and the environment also shares my position on gay marriage.  Almost always, we disagree on abortion.  But when I vote, my hope is that there will be less women seeking abortion (because of better wages, better maternity leave policies, better hours, etc.).  I don't like the democratic position on abortion, but I do like voting for the people who don't want to take food stamps away from the poor families (including their babies, planned or unplanned).  I do like voting for the people who want to keep everyone fed and clothed.  And in the meantime I guess the best thing to do about abortion is to keep having the conversation.  

Overall, I feel pretty comfortable being a Catholic and a progressive.

***I just realized I forgot to include war.  I think war should be a last resort, not something we idolize.  Which means I won't be supporting anyone like Mike Huckabee, who in the GOP debate said the point of the military is "to kill people and break things."

Yeah, nope.

__
Charlotte 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Man Chronicles: Quick Question (aka help)


Welcome to The Man Chronicles, a series at THL.  Or more accurately, an "occasional series" because my dating life is very Miranda Hobbes circa her panic attack aka sources for post subjects are scarce.  I really get my flirt on with the Chinese food guy, though.   

Series motto (for now!), methinks: "Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?"

Teeechnically, Chuck is supposed to be next.  And I will definitely make haste and throw his story up here soon.

But I'm going to post something relating to John first.  So let's pretend we're Carrie Bradshaw (though she is not a good role model) and mull over questions that many other people ask all. the. time.

When do you know there's no possibility of a relationship with a friend?  Or - is that ever the case?  Can you be friends for months or years and suddenly turn into more?  And worse, if it doesn't work out....... WHAT DO YOU DO?  (For me, the biggest reason I've never hardcore hinted at a crush is the worry of what will happen to the friendship if either 1. the feeling is not mutual and things are now awkward or 2. the feeling is mutual but the relationship doesn't work out.  Which means... I never, ever take the plunge.  Maybe I should though)

  
Maybe I will pester my friends and write a follow up with semi-answers to this later in the week.  For now, feel free to share your wisdom.  ;) 

__
Charlotte