On Memorial Day

It seems that there's a struggle on Memorial Day, at least within my social circle.  How can we honor service members without glorifying war?  Can we thank a soldier while protesting the war he fought in?  

I think we can.

America is my home and I love this country, even when I hate everything about her institutions.  I get goosebumps when I hear the national anthem and I tear up when I watch a parade of veterans.  That's all true.  

But it's also true that I'm disgusted by the military industrial complex.  I detest the fact that America's leaders are willing to send men and women (and often 18 year old kids) into war to kill and be killed so that they may profit, so that they may acquire land, so that they may reap the benefits.  

And yet I feel a deep gratitude to the people who are sent to war.  I've never met a marine who doesn't want to serve.  I've never met a sailor who wouldn't give everything to uphold our values.  I've seen airmen and coast guardsmen and soldiers stand up for what's right again and again.  

When they sign up, it's never with ill intentions.  It's always to serve America.  

When they come back, they often demand that their fellow Americans are not denied their rights.  

Like this.

Or this.  

Sometimes veterans themselves protest wars, insisting that their brothers and sisters should not be put in harm's way unless absolutely necessary.  

Yes, politicians and weapons manufactures start unjust wars.  

But the men and women who have died in those wars died intending to protect us, to protect freedom, and to protect each other while in combat.  I think those are honorable and admirable actions, and I don't think we should take their sacrifice lightly.  

When I have kids I plan on teaching them that service members are heroes, that the kind of sacrifice fallen soldiers, marines, airmen, coast guardsmen, and sailors have made are examples of bravery and love that most of us can only strive for.  I plan on celebrating with flags and parades.  But the best way, I think, to celebrate Memorial Day is to offer a prayer for those who have died, tend to their families, and to fight for a world where small children don't need to spend the day visiting the graves of their fathers.

* * *

In the quiet sanctuaries of our own hearts, let us call on the name of God whose power over us is great and gentle, firm and forgiving, holy and healing…

You who created us, who sustain us, who call us to live in peace, hear our prayer this day.

Hear our prayer for all who have died, whose hearts and hopes are known to you alone…

Hear our prayer for those who put the welfare of others ahead of their own: give us hearts as generous as theirs…

Hear our prayers for those who give their lives in the service of others, and accept the gift of their sacrifice…

Help us to shape and make a world where we will put down the arms of war and live in the harvest of justice and peace…

Comfort those who grieve the loss of their loved ones: in our hearts let your healing be our hope.

Hear our prayer this day and in your mercy answer us in the name of all that is holy.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

by Fr. Austin Fleming of Concord, MA, 2008

__
Charlotte 

Struggles of Car Ownership

Today, because I have literally no clue what to do with my life at the moment and am very, very bored, I'm going to chronicle my latest adventure of cleaning and washing my car.  WOW are you in for a treat! 

I keep the inside of my car mostly clean.  My policy toward the exterior has basically been something like, "nature will handle it."  It's rained plenty, and each time it totally counts as a washing.  I'm right, you're wrong.  Ahem.  

Get on track, Charlotte. 

Okay so really I think I've washed the car once.  Sometime last year, I believe.  But a few days ago I looked at my car and was astonished because it was a totally different color than it normally is and I decided that I couldn't maintain my laissez faire attitude toward pollen any longer.  "I'm a grown ass woman,"  I reminded myself.  "I need to keep my car clean." 

And so wash I did.  I mean, I didn't do it well.  I tried!  I really did.  But I think it's safe to say I did not miss my calling by not washing cars.  I have actually no clue how professionals get cars so sparkly and wonderful.  But yes, it was washed and beautiful and back to its normal color.  And because it's the second worst (or hey! third best!) season of the year, it looked like this no more than two hours later:

the hood

the windshield

a window

Effing terrific, so glad I just washed you, beautiful car.  Nature: 1 Charlotte: 0

But let's get to the real fun: cleaning the inside of the car.  

I don't know if I'm just a little deficient in the cleaning department (add it to my repertoire of deficiencies, bebe) or if dust in cars is a universal terror but good God I was basically swishing around dirt instead of actually picking it up.  I'm talking here specifically about the dashboard.  Now really, I'm not a Dirty Gerty.  I wave the duster thing across the dash around once a month.  But somehow it always looks dusty!

I busted out the big guns - handy dandy Mr. Clean (if it's all purpose for a house it should also be all purpose for a car, too, right?  Right?!) and gave it an actual scrub and I swear, I'm convinced dust is actually a permanent fixture in the car.  I kid you not, there was a moment when I scrubbed with all my might and upon lifting the washcloth saw lingering dust and I sat back in my seat and wondered if I was a total nutter and it was just the material of the car.  I mean, this is 20-fifteen, baby, there can be a plastic-rug hybrid material!  

Alas, it's just plain old plastic and it has a strong attraction to dust.  It looks better now, but it's still not perfect and I'm learning to gtfover it.  

Moving onward and upward!  Not literally. 

I usually put any garbage I may make in the compartment-thing (fancy. wordsmith.) on the door and that's what I cleaned after swishing around dirt on cleaning the dash.  This whole process should have taken maybe an hour EXCEPT

Some of that garbage in the door is crinkled up receipts.  Which means... I had to come face to face with the realization that I've visited KFC an ungodly amount of times in the last month.  

Answer: Often

So my hour long car-washing process bitterly turned into a much longer process as I had what can only be called an existential crisis.  I pondered consumerism, depression, eating habits, my own happiness, and mortality.  I accepted that the only thing I currently had a grip on was the handle of the stupid Mr. Clean bottle - and not, indeed, on my life.  

But joy cometh in the morning and I recovered, once again committed in my mission of cleaning this damn car.  

Next came the fun, fun middle of the car - you know, with the gears and the cup holders and the completely random lines/cracks that serve no purpose other than hosting dirt. 

No matter how much you try, it's damn near impossible to get the dirt out of all those crevices.  I HATE this and I really need to take my car to a professional one day when I have money because they must have surgeon-level-skilled hands and teeny tiny cleaning tools that allow them to remove all that shit.  Just look that the mirror controller.  WHY does that require so many rectangular houses of dirt?  The buttons needed company or something?  The person who designed this car (and the designers of most cars) clearly did not have cleanliness on the mind.  

Finally, I tackled the bane of my car ownership: the space where dwells the emergency brake. 

HOW DOES ONE CLEAN THAT? 

I've owned other cars.  They do not all have such horrid emergency brake situations.  I do not know who designed this, but I do not like him.  

It's basically impossible to reach the dust in there.  I did try, and totally tried using the washcloth, but when it couldn't fit right, I instead tried using a napkin (likely from KFC) and since the napkin was wet (Mr. Clean), a piece of it tore off, leading to a truly epic episode of paranoia that went something like, 

Oh my God, how do I get it out of there?  

If I can't reach it and I turn the car back on is it going to explode?! 

It's a napkin!  WHAT IF IT CATCHES FIRE? 

Is this space somehow connected to the engine?  Is this going to travel and stop the car from working? 

Who in the fuck designed this?  He should come clean this for me.

But I was able to retrieve the napkin-miscreant and all was well.

I'm smarter than I sound, I swear. 

Tragedy avoided, I sat back and contemplated banning food or anything else that can create a need to clean for .2 seconds, got over myself, buckled up, and started the car.  I laughed for a hot sec when I put the air on and remaining Mr. Clean shot out of the vents all over me.  

I promptly stopped laughing when my eyelashes failed me and some of that shit got in my eye. 

Ah, to be the owner of a car. 

* * *

I don't want to sound like an ungrateful B, so let me just make it clear that I'm so glad I'm able to own this car.

Around a year and a half ago, I suddenly found myself in need of a car.  Which is fine, except I believe my bank account balance was something like $300.  Excellent!  It couldn't really be a knock-around car because my job required between two and four hours of travel a day.  So it really needed to be a safe car.  Well, happenings happened and doings were done and even though I couldn't afford it and I'm still paying someone back for helping me with the deposit, things turned out okay.  It just so happened that the car with the right price and mileage was a green Subaru Impreza Outback.  I've long loved Subaru Outbacks and Foresters, and green is my favorite color, so that was a nice coincidence.  Literally every time I look at my car I feel happy about it.

Within the first couple months of owning it, the car was broken into (nothing was taken - I guess they didn't want my One Direction cd???) and was crashed into by someone who decided against leaving a note.  So that cost a pretty penny to fix.  But I got over it pretty quickly and mostly handled it like a pro.

Welllllllllll, just weeks after my old insurance policy ended and a new one with a fresh (and higher!) deductible started, someone hit into it again!  And declined to leave a note - again!  This has been slightly more stressful for me because while it hasn't affected the function of the car, I don't have the money to fix the dent.  Usually I have such a laid back attitude about scratches and dents - a friend of mine once backed into my car and I just laughed and called him an ahole and told him not to worry about it - a few little dings add character!  But.  But!  I think it's straight up rude to do significant damage to someone's car and just drive away.  That ain't right.  So sometimes when I see the dent it puts me in a pissy mood for about one and a half minutes and then I remember I'm driving a beautiful green Subaru and I try and get over it.    

I'm going to skip right over the part about the brakes needing fixing (brakes?  brake pads??  I don't know, the car makes noises and feels weird when I step on the brake...) and also over the part about the check engine light going on for an O2 sensor.  Totally a minor problem, but a $200 minor problem when you're in the midst of trying to go back to school and request transcripts and SAT scores is something that is kind of hard to stomach.

But - really, I love having the car.  I have a few friends who loathe owning a car.  It does get pricey and maintenance isn't the easiest thing in the world and it needs oil changes and fluids and air filters and omg it's a travelling metal death trap but HEY IT'S A GREEN SUBARU AND I LOVE IT.  

And I've worked pretty hard to stay on top of all the things.  Except for once (right around surgery time), the oil is changed like clock work.  I keep it mostly clean.  It always has a healthy amount of washer fluid and of course, I always keep the radio/cd player happy by only putting the very best of music on - lately the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack, Glee Season 1, Michael Jackson, and a mix cd I made titled "Let Me Clear My Throat" which features a host of goodies from DJ Kool, DMX, and Outkast.  Refined taste.  Oh and I stuck a lovely "Tax the Rich" bumper sticker on it.  Which makes me love it even more, though I wouldn't have thought that possible.

Behold!

  

__

Charlotte 

Home Library Love

Generally, I don't feel a real need to have a bunch of material things.  Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to have a nice house or apartment with good furniture and nice decor etc.  But for the most part, I don't feel a special attachment to most of my things.

The exception: books. 

I have so many books.  I'd guess that I have between 200 and 300 physical books, then probably around 30 electronic and 10-ish pdf.  I'd call it a problem except it's not because books are the second best thing, right after good French onion soup (preferably from a bar).  Today I'm going to focus just on the physical books and specifically...........

Building a home library.  

I don't mean building literal bookshelves quite yet (one day!) but you need to build a collection of books if you want a library one day, yes?  

But first, here are a few of my favorite home libraries I've found while perusing Pinterest.  I like to think of them as inspiration (or....pinspiration).  

The "Fun to Look at but Never Gonna Happen" libraries:

Source

Source

The "When I Own a House" libraries: 

Source

Source

Source

The "Possible in Rentals" libraries: 

Source

Source

Okay, okay - I know that's not a library (it IS a pantry from heaven), but this kind of shelving is generally affordable, and can easily be installed on a wall in a rental.

My Absolute Favorite Home Library Sources of Inspiration:

Source

Source

But how to get there? 

Before you build walls of shelves, you need to have some books (presumably... I guess you can start with bare shelves but that might look weird.. plus it takes years to build a collection of books).  Obviously, the cost of achieving this can be high, but there are ways around that in case money is tight.  

When I had my full time job I also worked a part time job so I usually had a little extra cash.  Which meant I was going to Barnes and Noble all the time.  Liz (who also wants a library) and I used to meet up at the mall, eat Nathans or Chinese in the food court, and go to B&N probably once a week.  It was lovely.  Since I had the money, I let myself by a book (or a couple) every paycheck.  

I make fewer trips now that the job situation is so... sad.  But!  The good thing is that I became an expert at B&N shopping.  Now that money is tight verging on non-existent, if I do go to Barnes, I know what to look at and I know which sales to go for.  They frequently have the "buy 2 get the 3rd free" sale (and some stores always have that sale).  If there's a new book I want to read, I know how long to wait for it to go to the "Previous Best Sellers" rack, where it's usually half the price it was when it first came out.  And of course, I always take advantage of the classics.  Borders used to have excellent prices on classics as well.  At Barnes, they're between $4.95 and $8.95 and they often have sales that pertain only to their classics (a few months ago I got six classics for the price of three). 

Like I said, though, the B&N trips are fewer now and I don't often like buying brand new books when I have so little money.  Bills come first.  

HAPPILY, there are other ways to fatten the book collection when ya ass is broke.  Here are some of my pro-tips.  (lol yeah bc I'm a pro.)   

Pro-tip 1: Buy from thrift stores

I live in NC with family now, and my aunt and grandparents really enjoy going to thrift stores (I do too, but it's slightly depressing to look at furniture/home decor when I no longer have an apartment).  Some of the fancier thrift stores have books, but they're often overpriced and I won't bother.  But others hold treasure - 

You'll find old books, new books, and probably everything in between.  My rule is to stick to what I think I'll actually like to read or reference.  A couple of weeks back I got a few books originally part of a set called "Building America" for something like $2.  While I'll never sit down and read those books front to back, I know I'm interested in parts of them.  One includes aviation history in America and I've already looked at that part of the book several times.  The other discusses labor history in America - another topic I know I'm interested in.

Sometimes, stores don't feel like pricing each individual book, so they'll throw some string around a set and sell it for half of what they'd get if each book was sold separately.  That was the case with this set for $3.50:  

On Amazon, Little Britches isn't sold used for less than $6.00 and that's just one book - this set comes with all eight of Ralph Moody's autobiographies.  

It can be really, really easy to build your book collection if you look at thrift stores and garage sales.  $10 or even $5 can get you a slew of books.  Like I said, the rule I've set for myself is that to buy it, I need to know the book is going to be used.  If I didn't follow this rule, I'd have a ton of books sitting on the shelf for no reason.  It's true that when I have a library the shelves will need to be filled, but I consider it wasteful if the books will never be picked up.  It might only cost me a quarter for a used book, but if money is tight I don't need to be wasting even a penny on something I won't use.  

That said, sometimes I buy books knowing that they'll be used, but maybe not by me. 

I actually do love looking at illustrated books just for the art, but it's not often that I pick up a children's book to read for fun.  But a physical home library is likely 6+ years away, and I think that books like these will be used.  Even if I don't have kids at that point, I've got seven younger siblings.  The youngest is six.  I also have friends with kids.  For me, the ultimate goal of having a library isn't just for me to get joy from it, it's for every person who comes into my home to enjoy.  I've got books on fairies, elves, world art, Africa, and so many other things because I know that they'll be enjoyed by some of my friends.  (Not that I don't also love reading about elves!)  

Pro-tip 2: Take advantage of seasonal sales

I visited a Barnes and Noble a few days after Easter and there were picture books galore on sale - many with Easter or spring themes.  I didn't get any, but it's something to keep in mind.  One of the seasonal sales I do normally take advantage of is Christmas sales.  Normally after Jan. 1 Christmas books go on sale, so it's nice to keep an eye on that.  

Combining tips 1 and 2, thrift stores/novelty stores/junk stores often have Christmas items on sale year round, except for the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  For less than $2, I got these three books: 

I've thoroughly enjoyed flipping through each of them.  Christmas is sort of my thing, so it's rare that I don't buy a book like this if it's under $1.  I'll often save up my change for a week and find that I've got around $5 and let myself buy books with it. 

Pro-tip 3: Libraries are your friend

Many libraries have a little section near the door where you can buy books for 25 cents.  I like to check this section out whenever I visit the library - if there's a book I think I'd enjoy or that brings a specific friend to mind, I'll get it.  One more book for my own library.  

Pro-tip 4: Keep an eye out

If you just like having books but you're not dead set on having a home library one day, then you don't really need to keep your eyes peeled.  But if you genuinely want to have a lovely room with shelf-lined walls and you don't want to break bank buying all new books, you should keep your eyes open for inexpensive (or even free!) books.  I worked at a school, so when the PTA was hosting a used book sale, I knew about it and bought around nine or ten books for $1.  But if you're not lucky enough to work at a school (ahem), sales like this are often advertised in local papers and magazines.  All you need to do is check.  Garage sales also can be a place to find books for next to nothing.  Sometimes Craigslist has ads for boxes of books for free.  I usually skip over those because of my rule (I need to know the books will be used), but sometimes there are great books to be found.  

Another thing I've done: Keep school textbooks.  Now, I didn't keep every book I'd been assigned in school, but I kept the ones that are about interesting topics.  I've got a bunch of philosophy, political science, and sociology books, plus a few on research and writing.  I could have sold them, but usually used textbooks go for less than half (if that!) of the original price, so I don't really count it as a loss.  

Those are pretty much the main ways I buy books.  Right now I've got enough books to fit probably one wall of shelves, give or take.  They're currently stored in two closets, and with all the moving I've had to do in the last two years, it's been a huge pain in the ass.  But worth it!  Totally worth it.  

To libraries! 

__

Charlotte 

Welcome to the fuschia

Oh, you don't actually like corny titles??  Sorry.  Sorrrrrrrrry.

This post is pretty much just a slew of pictures of fuschia. Writing talent - I've got it.

I'm pretty sure this is where fairies live.
__
Charlotte

Weeklings.......... or not

After thinking hard about it for like, two minutes, I've decided I don't want to do Weeklings anymore.  They often feel forced and I'm not into that.  I like the concept of them though, so I'm playing with the idea of doing it monthly or every other week.  I'll figure something out.  

__

Charlotte 

Silver Linings

In the beginning of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the book, not the movie), everyone celebrates Harry's birthday.  He wakes up, goes downstairs, and opens a pile of gifts from Bill and Fleur, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the Delacours, and Hagrid.  And then Ginny asks him into her room and they discuss his impending departure to go hunt horcruxes.  Ginny is worried about his safety.  And since it's Harry's birthday, she wants to give him something. 

She says this: "I'd like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela while you're off doing whatever you're doing." 

He tells her he thinks dating opportunities will be slim when he's gone.  

And then Ginny says, "There's the silver lining I've been looking for."  She leans in and kisses him.  

This is really embarrassing but also really hilarious so I'm going to share it. 

When I first read this, I imagined a literal silver lining.  I pictured her looking past Harry, seeing some piece of fabric with a silvery color on her dresser or something, and reaching for it - giving her an excuse to lean in and kiss Harry.  

Judge me.  I'm judging me.  

(My reading comp/writing scores were not that high when I took the SAT.)

But all is well with the world and I've since become familiar with the meaning of "silver lining" the saying, not the literal fucking fabric.

Note to self: When you have kids, read to them every night so they don't end up like you.

    

I'd like to take a second to talk about how kind-hearted I am, sharing that mucho embarrassing story so that others may experience the joy of laughter.  

Ahem.

Moving on.  Silver linings.  Okay. 

Yesterday I shared a post about my plans to go back to school, get a second bachelor's, and get a master's.  

The post went up late at night and I woke up in the morning to a few new messages in my inbox.  Mostly well wishes, friends telling me they like my plan or that they have confidence in me.  Some cautious optimism and words of advice.  Warnings of the amount of work it'll take (accompanied by encouragement! no worries!), etc., etc.  

But I also got a couple of messages from friends expressing surprise/worry over the idea of moving back to Long Island.  And I agree.  This does make me nervous.  I've noticed that when I'm on LI I drive between 10-20 mph more than I usually do.  I have road rage when I'm on LI.  I curse a lot.  

Basically, I am so stressed out when I'm there.  My past is filled with toxic people and I get nervous just knowing I'm in the same vicinity as them.  

But I'm also a grown ass woman now and have a better handle on myself.  I know I can't live with my immediate family.  I can stop by and see my siblings, but I need to know I have somewhere else to go.  My friend's family is letting me stay with them and instead of feeling guilty I'm accepting the offer (IF I move back - still need to contact the college).  

I know my own warning signs.  I've picked up on what habits I fall back to when my mood is going downhill.  And, usually, I know what to do to stop myself.  And I've gotten much better with asking for help.  

And then there's the genuine good things about living on Long Island.  The silver linings alluded to in the title of this post and the embarrassing HP story.  

• Over the last six years, I've seen Olivia, my oldest friend, maybe 15 times.  On LI, I'd see her all the time.  (Brace yourself, Liv.)
• The majority of the people I'm closest to live in New York - some on LI, some in Albany.  Albany may be four hours away, but that's an easy drive.  Currently it's a twelve hour drive... not something I can do on any random weekend.
• The beach!  I haven't been swimming in the ocean in years.  Being able to go to the beach whenever I want will be nice. 
• I'll be close to NYC.  
• The food on LI is better than the food in most other places.  
• I can play tennis with my old friend, Dana.  (This is much better than playing against a brick wall.) 
• I prefer the medical care in NY.  And I already have doctors there. 

Those are the main things that come to mind.  So yes, it might be stressful if I move to LI.  But if I pay attention to myself and take the right steps to avoid certain situations, there's a lot of great stuff there, too.  

__

Charlotte 

So you want to work at NASA...

I was so, so hesitant to write this.  Nothing is set in stone yet, I haven't figured out how to pay for things, and there's a chance I'll fail.  The idea of writing all of this out and then not achieving any of it makes me queasy. 

Yesterday I mentioned that I might be going back to school. 

Except, by "might," I mean unless it's entirely impossible, I'm going back to school.  

I don't know how many times I've told my friends, in feigned jest, that I want to be an astronaut.  I should change that to "mostly" feigned jest because I know I'll never be an astronaut.  I have health issues and even if they all get resolved, I'm a wimp.  And even if I overcame my fear, being an astronaut requires a lot of experience.  Yes, that's possible, but not any time soon.  Ten years from now I hope to have kids, and I don't think I'd want to literally leave Earth if I had children.  (Which is funny because most caretakers, including me, have frequent feelings like, "get me away from these monsters darlings.")

Wowsa.  I surprise myself sometimes with how quickly and thoroughly I can veer off topic.  

Anyhow.  While becoming an astronaut is my alter-ego pipe dream, learning about space-related things is very much something I want to do.  Working in that field is something I want to do.  

But Charlotte, you went to school for political science, sociology, and philosophy.... what in the world are you saying?? 

Get it?  What in the world?? heh.  (Thanks, Gilmore Girls.)

I know.  And I love political science, sociology, and philosophy.  

But here's the thing: I don't think it's what I want to do for a living.  I will always be political.  I'm a person who grew up in poverty.  I'm in the working class.  Literally, my livelihood depends on being political.  It depends on social change, on civil disobedience, on standing in solidarity with all those who struggle.  And I will always participate, whenever it is physically possible.  But I don't want it to be my career anymore.  I don't know why I thought that was the only way to be political in the first place.  

I want to work at NASA.  (Or do something related, like work at a school or research center or a museum.)  Remember this quote from The West Wing? 

I want to be a part of that.  And that's something that will only happen if I work hard at it.  (That's not to say being political isn't hard.  But I can be political without working in politics.  I can't help humankind get to Mars just by watching others do it.) 

Unfortunately, none of this is cheap or easy.  I need to be an undergrad again.  And then I need to get a master's.  I've talked to a few people over the last week for some guidance, and they've assured me that it's possible despite finances and lackluster grades from my first stint as a college student.  So far, it looks like I'll first need to take a few courses in physics and calculus at a community college.  Then, if I do well, I need to go back for another bachelor's.  School itself will be hard but these two steps, as far as I can tell, are going to be the hardest.  One, paying for the courses at a community college.  Two, getting into school again.  Sure, I can do exceptionally well in the courses which will help, but it doesn't totally cancel out the fact that I graduated with a low gpa.  So that's not going to be easy.  If I do manage all that though, the next step would be applying to grad school.  

This simultaneously feels exactly right and completely insane.  I'm worried that I'll try to do this and fail.  Or that I'll move back to Long Island - a place that stresses me out - and then won't be able to take the courses.  Or that I'll use money and time taking the courses and then won't get into school, making everything a waste.  I feel like my chances of failure are... astronomical.  Heh. 

But, it could be worse. 

Someone smart said this.

I could keep telling myself I'm not smart enough to pursue a career in math or science.  (Something I started telling myself some time around eighth grade.)  I could keep pretending that my mediocre grades in high school science classes were because I was bad at it, and not because I didn't do homework and skipped class often.  I could ignore the fact that my test grades were usually good, that a teacher recommended I take college courses, that I enjoyed most of my math and science classes.  

I could maintain my current lifestyle, which is completely devoid of goals, work, and purpose.

And I really don't want to do that. 

So I went ahead and made myself a checklist: 

That's all I really want to say on the topic for now.  Here's hoping it happens.  

__

Charlotte 

  

Weekling: W.25

For more posts in this series, go here: Weeklings

Happenings

I haven't done one of these in two weeks (I think?).  One week ago I had to drive to NY and back - never fun.  I was only on the island for a day, but I did manage to hang out with Olivia and sort of go to the beach (naturally, we went the first day that it cost money, and neither of us were down for paying $8 just to sit on the sand for five minutes until we were freezing and needed to leave).  But we did see the ocean, so that's cool.  Then a few days later it was my birthday.  I'm not near any of my friends plus this hasn't been my best year so my birthday was just a little depressing. 

Thankful for

Two things stick out.  

One, I got my very first piece of mail from the health insurance company.  Unfortunately, they're several weeks behind schedule, but, it's a start.  

Two, I've talked to a few people and it looks like I can go back to school.  I'll share more tomorrow, but here's a hint: 

Books I'm reading now

Out of the Silent Planet (the first book in the Space Trilogy by CS Lewis)  

And of course, I've been rereading HP like it's my job... 

Random

It's the one year anniversary of the first ever Weekling.  Some things I need to keep in mind: stop skipping weeks and use more gifs. 

To-do

I need to make a game plan for this school thing.  But again, more on that later. 

Links worth looking at

Turns out, I want/need more Jesus.  Who Knew? - Becoming Peculiar 

Why Voldemort Hates Homeschooling - Carrots for Michaelmas 

The Dominant White Response to Baltimore Shows Why Black Residents are Justified in their Anger - Daily KOS 

Woman's obituary lists unusual amount of grandchildren - Fox News

Bernie Sanders Raised $3 Million From Small Donors in the First Four Days of His Campaign - Policy Mic

Lake Michigan is So Clear Right Now its Shipwrecks Are Visible From the Air - Smithsonian 

Jennifer Aniston Knows There Are Many Different Ways to be a Mother - Verily 

Fun Fact

It took me 22 years to learn how to snap. 

oh and

Happy Mother's Day... 

__

Charlotte 

If you're kind of a nerd but don't want your kids to have crazy names

In the last month, three different friends and family members have had to think of baby names and because they know I'm insane very fond of it, they asked for my help.  Swoon.

Between those conversations and my newest favorite blog, I'm totally enjoying thinking of names for other people's kids right now.  (Totally my place to do so....ahem)  

Current obsession with name-related things: using the names of fictional characters.  Apparently, Khaleesi is on the rise.  Khaleesi.  Now, if you just love the way Khaleesi sounds, then you go, Glen Coco!  Really, it's no one's business what name anyone else chooses for their darling offspring (in almost every single situation).  

I'm not very into obvious fictional names.  I love Dumbledore, but I can't see myself using his name.  (Even Albus.)  I asked a semi-reasonable friend (we'll call him Joe Smith) this question as well.  He said the craziest he'd ever do is name a son Bruce Wayne Smith.  Not too bad.  

But, in case you don't want to name your son Frodo and risk him being constantly referred to as "Hobbit," (now that I think about it, that's awesome) here are some tamer choices for us lovers of LOTR, HP, GoT, etc.

1. Instead of Khaleesi...

Maybe Katherine, Danielle, Maeve, Regina, or Riegan.  

Liz watches Game of Thrones and I asked her about this one.  One of her suggestions was Katherine, I believe because it's another K name.  But she also told me that Khaleesi isn't the name of the character.  It's Daenerys.  This can easily be "Danny" or "Dani," so maybe using the name Danielle would work if you want to shy away from Khaleesi while still using the character as inspiration.  

Khaleesi, on the other hand, means "queen." (...In a made up language, but you know.) 

So, if you're not on the wild side and don't want to call your baby girl "Khaleesi," one possibility is to to give your bundle a more traditional name with the same meaning.  Regina is a fairly common name and means queen.  According to a quick google search, it's been big since medieval times.  Woot!  

But I get the feeling that parents who even consider the name "Khaleesi" don't want to go the common route.  Fear not!  Apparently Maeve means "she who intoxicates" and in Irish tradition it was the name of a warrior queen.  BAMF.  I don't want to name a child in honor of the GoT character, but if I did, I'd go with this one. 

If we want to get really cool - Riegan means "one who talks to dragons" and is pronounced Rye-gan.  This name is still too out there for my own taste, but I think it's closest to the character without using "Khaleesi."

Another option, which is actually an option for any of these, is to use it as a middle name.  Little Ella Khaleesi.  I'm surprised, but I honestly like how that sounds.

2. Instead of Dobby...

How about Robert?  

I haven't heard of a growing trend of baby boys being called Dobby lately.  I think I've heard it floated as an idea once or twice, and in coming up with this list, I looked at trends and which characters I love but would be hesitant to use as namesakes.  As one of my favorite characters in Harry Potter, I can totally see myself saying, "Let's name him DOBBY!" after giving birth to a boy.  Especially if I'm full of pain meds.  Which I will be when I have kids.  Because nope, don't want a ring of fire.  -I digress.-

So one, two, buckle my shoe, I typed "Dobby name meaning" into my greatest and sagest friend and mentor, Google.  And up popped this thread!  Dobby as a nickname for Robert!  This is brilliant.  I'm tempted to put this on my own list of very far future options.  There's Robby and Bobby... why not Dobby?!  This is awesome.  

I don't think Dobby is a bad name.  I just don't think it's a great first name.  I'm a fan of formal first names.  So throwing "Robert" on the birth certificate but referring to el boy as Dobby sounds reasonable.  

Another option?  Use Dobby as a nickname for any D or B name.  It totally works, and your kid's siblings and friends might be less likely to refer to sweet Dobby as their house elf, as his rrreeeaaalll name is Donald.  Or Robert.  Or Benjamin.  You name it. 

I love Lord of the Rings and all of the characters and my nerdier side would totally just name my kids after them.  But if you are hesitant to name your child so obviously after the books/movies, there are other possibilities! 

3. Instead of Frodo...

Use Sam?  Using the more common names from series is still totally honoring the stories, in my opinion.  I love Aragorn and I love Gandalf.  But I wouldn't name my kids after them, at least not directly.  So what other options? 

Instead of Frodo, use Frodo's closest friend.  Frodo couldn't have made it without Sam.  And Sam is one of the loveliest names ever.  I love the name Sam.  Especially for a boy.  Samuel is great and Sam is great and both can work as a tribute to LOTR.  

Another option is to use names that sound similar to Frodo.  Maybe Frederick?  (Also, if using Frederick, Frodo totally makes sense as a nickname to me!)  Or maybe you're both a LOTR fan and a tennis fan!  You can name your baby Roddick.  Or Roderick.  Frodo shares the consecutive r-o-d with those names so is a reasonable nickname.  

What if you like Aragorn?  I've thought of before this because I love Aragorn probably more than any other character.  

If you strictly want similar sounding names, then Aaron is probably closest.  But, if you are looking for something more symbolic representing the character, what about Arthur, Leopold, or Christopher?

Arthur and Leopold (Leopold is one of my favorite names) are both known as king names in legend and history.  Aragorn is the rightful king, so maybe to still use him as inspiration while naming a baby, using another kingly name would work.  Again, while everyone has their own preferences, my own instinct would be to stay away from something clearly honoring a character.  Arthur and Leopold can still do that while being a little more common.  

Why Christopher?  Well.  I think Aragorn is a Christ-like figure.  (As are Gandalf and Frodo.)  So I think it'd be fitting to use a Christ name (Christian also works) in this situation.  

Or again, if you're hesitant to use a name but really love the character, middle names work!  Plenty of traditional names can go in front of Aragorn and sound just fine.  Joseph Aragorn.  Henry Aragorn.  You get the idea. 

Okay, so no one is really going around naming their baby daughters "Black Widow."  (As far as I know.  There are kids named Pilot Inspektor and Jer Majesty though, so it's not like it's an impossibility...)  But maybe you want to name your kid after one of the Avengers.  

4. Instead of Black Widow... 

Use Natalia/Natasha.  You'll totally name your kid after Black Widow, but your kid won't be mocked.  Naming after the Avengers is pretty easy, though, since most have regular names.  Hawkeye is Clint, Cap is Steve, the Hulk is Bruce, Iron Man is Tony.  And then there's Thor.  Thor is a name that predates the Avengers, so you can get away with using it but... like I said, I wouldn't want to give a name so obvious to my own kid.  If your heart is set on the character but you don't want to name your human child Thor, maybe use another Th name like Thomas (I've even seen Thom before) or Theodore.  Theodore can totally be shortened to Thor as a nickname.  Theodore is on my own list (nutty since I'm single but hey) and I always assumed Teddy as a nickname but now I'm thinking Thor is awesome.  

Your genius plan to name your children after the Avengers might be exposed if you have multiple kids, though.  People will likely catch on if you've got Steve, Natasha, Tony, and Bruce running around.  But that'd be baller, so who cares. 

5. Instead of Albus... 

Use any name that means "wise."  

Albus Dumbledore is one of the most beloved characters of the entire series.  He's got loads of good traits that make him a good source of inspiration.  But if you're not keen on using his name on your bebe, there are other ways to keep him in mind while finding a name. You could go with the more traditional Albert (which has a host of cute nicknames) or find a name with similar sound/meaning.   "Albus" means white and wise.  For a combo sound/meaning, there's Alfred or Aldo.  

According to this, Alfred's got a really cool history!  

"Derived from the Old English Ælfred, a compounding of the elements ælf (elf) and ræd (counsel). Elves were considered to be supernatural beings having special powers of seeing into the future; thus the name took on the meaning "wise counsel."

You know what this means - LOTR lovers can use it too!  

But, on topic.  So yes!  "Wise counsel" is right up Dumbledore's alley.  And Alfred has similar sounds to Albus.  Between those two things, I think Alfred makes a solid, tamer choice for Albus. 

Aldo is another option.  It feels a little more hip to me than Alfred, despite being an old name.  It means "old and wise."   Again, completely fitting for a baby named with Dumbledore in mind.  

Other boy names with similar meaning are Shanahan and Conrad.  Shanahan is Irish and means "the wise one."  Conrad is German and means "brave counsel."  It think both of those sound like characteristics of Dumbledore.  (Could also be used if you're looking to Gandalf for inspiration as well!) 

There are so many more great characters and I think any name - no matter how crazy - can be reined in a bit to reach a less obvious name if that's what you're looking for.  Between similar sounds and shared meanings, any character can give insights to great names.  (Or we could all just name kids after the Weasleys.  Rowling did an excellent job naming them.) 

__

Charlotte