Twenty PERFECT Pairs of Baby Boy Names for Twins

I posted Twenty Perfect Pairs of Baby Girl Names for Twins on Monday, and within 12 hours it became the 6th most popular post on the blog.  Nice.  So we figured we'd follow up with twenty pairs of baby boy names to keep the fun going.  Here it is:

1. Noah and William - Apparently, Noah is the most popular boy name right now, so that might turn people off.  Not us, though.  It's a sweet name and the pairing of a traditional, short Biblical name with a traditional...royal? name sounds good.

2. Jax and Parker - Just like with the list of girl names, we think cool, newer names ought to be paired together.  

3. Harry and Jasper - Cool and crisp. 

4. Jude and Lennon - For the Beatles-obsessed parents.  Don't worry, the kids' peers won't know it's corny until they're old enough to not be teased.

5. Charles and Samuel - Old fashioned with old-fashioned.  And Charlie and Sam sound really cute together.

6. Neil and Cyrus - Two cool, kinda badass names.  Neil wouldn't normally be considered cool, maybe, but anyone who watches Once Upon a Time knows that Neil is now a badass name.

7. Alexander and Edward - Ready to assume the throne. 

8. Lincoln and Bennett - Not your typical boy names, but they won't illicit a bunch of "wtf's," either.  

9. Frederick and George - So, I was all, "hmmm... what would go well with George?  Charlie? Nah, better with Sam..  Peter?  Maybe.  Hey, Fred goes well!" .....and THEN I remembered Fred and George Weasley.  Which makes this probably the best pair on the list.

10. Peter and Adam - Traditional, classy, but there aren't usually ten Adams or Peters in a class.  Best of both worlds. 

11. Benjamin and James - Good ring to it. 

12. Jonah and Gabriel - Both of these are sort of soft sounding, easy off the tongue names that stand the test of time.  

13. Thomas and John - Gettin' real revolutionary up in here.  'Murica. 

14. Benji and Roman - Oh, there goes the revolution trend.  Benji and Roman are relatively strange names, but they're not not normal.  It's not like naming your kids Bicycle and Peach.  Or something. 

15. Christopher and Renaldo - Ask someone who speaks fluent Spanish to say both of these names.  When they're grown men, Christopher and Renaldo are going to have undeniably hot names. 

16. Nicholas and Abe - Nick and Abe sound sweet together. 

17. Theodore and Oliver - Classy when they're grown, cute when they're kids.  (Ollie and Teddy?  Cute overload.)

18. Toby and Winston - Why not? 

19. Francis and Anthony - Lovechildren of Mindy and Danny? 

20. Max and Redding - As I've mentioned, we're not fans of pairing traditional or old fashioned names with new hip names.  BUT.  By keeping it short with Max, instead of Maxwell or Maximilian, we think you can get away with this pair.  

And bonus:  Preston and Steve - It's only fair that the parents of twin boys have the same opportunity as the parents of twin girls to hang a picture in the nursery that says "P.S I love you."

People seem to enjoy these posts, and my friends and I are having (way too much) fun coming up with names, so there's even some talk of themed-lists (think "Baby Names for the Literary Parents").  Only time will tell....

Also: Literary Baby Names

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Charlotte

DIY Map Coasters .....for the Lazy Person

We've lived in this apartment for about seven months, and I just got around to making coasters.  For a while there I had been eyeing a few diy coaster projects but wasn't sure which I liked most.  It came down to chalkboard coasters (as seen on The Sweetest Occasion) and map coasters (as seen on The Country Chic Cottage).  Obviously, I went with the map coasters.

I read the directions from that website as well as this website to get an idea of what I needed to do.

The thing is, I'm not the most patient of people.

So I decided spray adhesive was unnecessary.  As was hot glue or super glue, since Mod Podge pretty much has the whole attaching-one-thing-to-another-thing job down.  So I bought eight tiles (from Home Depot for a whopping total of $1.28), threw some Mod Podge on those bad boys, and tried semi-hard to center the map pieces on each one.

(Side note: math and counting centimeters and millimeters and tracing lines to have a perfectly even map square and then perfectly centering each square onto each tile didn't really sound like a ton of fun and guaranteed an extra hour, so I opted to just rip some pieces of map and somewhat center them on the tiles.  I actually like the rough, torn look more than the even ones in those links, so everything worked out.)

After two coats of Mod Podge and then some of the acrylic spray, I was good to go.  Also, you don't need perfect felt or cork on the tiles.  Mod Podge-ing a square of felt on the back should work fine.

Moral of the story: Screw the long, arduous process that requires effort and just use Mod Podge for everything.  It turns out just as lovely.  They look great, they're smooth, and there's nary an air bubble of which to speak.

Enjoy an obnoxious amount of photographic evidence.

 
This may be my favorite DIY project yet.

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Charlotte

Twenty PERFECT Pairs of Baby Girl Names for Twins

This article lists twenty “perfect pairs” of baby girl names for twins.  I like a lot of the names, but not together.  (Well, Emily and Eleanor sound nice together.  But the rest are not quite there.)  Since my friends and I spend an absurd amount of time talking about baby names (and wrangling with the inconvenient fact that we need to find men before actually having kids to name…), I figured we’d do a leeeeeettle list action on the ol’ blog. 

Without further ado:

1. Eleanor and Abbey – Because who doesn’t love the Beatles, right?

2. Annabelle and Evangeline – They’re both long, uncommon (but not unknown), and old-fashioned. 

3. Madelyn and Annie – Both nice names, and Maddy and Annie sound sweet together.

4. Blythe and Sutton – They’re hipster baby names because they’re not hipster.  Follow?

5. Zoey and Gwen – Cool, but not too cool.

6. Patricia and Suzanne – Because then you can hang a picture on their bedroom wall that says “PS I love you.”  Get it?  PS?

7. Billy and Bobbie – For the parents who like boy names for girls.

8. Evelyn and Margot – These names can fit SO MANY personalities.  Sweet.  Sassy. Smart. All of the above. 

9. Fraye and Olive – “Different” names

10. Harriet and Eliza – Classy and old-fashioned when they’re adults, but cute when they’re kids (think Harriet the spy and Eliza from The Wild Thornberries). 

11. Susan and Lucy – Chronicles of Narnia FTW

12. Winnie and Jane – Cutesy. 

13. Declan and River – See explanations for 4 and 9.  

14. Meredith and Edith – Granted, they both have that “edith,” but “edith” isn’t pronounced the same way in both of them.  They’re somewhat sharp names, but they’re also super professional and boss sounding.

15. Martha and Lucia – Who wouldn’t want to be named for those saints?

16. Penny and Minerva – Both are kind of weird, but both seem to say, “I’m smart.”  (Ahem, Penny from Inspector Gadget and Minerva McGonagall…)

17. Lillian and Georgia – They’ll be the best of friends when they’re old.

 

18. Pepper and Amelia – Just sound good together.

19. Ginger and Phoebe – Adorable.  Adorable together.

20. Louisa and Lenora – WOAH.  MATCHY NAMES. 

And bonus:

Emily and Charlotte (Two of our names, and the Bronte sisters.  Yeah man.)

A lot of the names in the original article were perfectly nice, but the obsession with matching names was a little much, as was the need to balance every new, hip name with an old fashioned name.  We think it makes more sense to pair a trendy name with another trendy name or an old name with another old name.  (Though the most sensible is probably to name your kids whatever you want to name them.  Unless you choose Rainbow Flower and Sunshine Meadow or something.)

This list was brought to you by four different people.  So that explains the different styles of names.  Billy and Bobbie kinda different from Annabelle and Evangeline, no? 

We may just do a follow up with boys names… 

Update: Boy names for twins! 
annnnd: Literary baby names! 

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Charlotte

Weekling: W.7

For other posts in this series, go here: Weeklings 

Happenings

Week of headaches.  I always have headaches, but there have been a few days this week where I've gotten sharp, stabbing headaches every 5-10 minutes or so that last for around three minutes.  Swell.  Luckily, I'm going to a neurologist this week.  I'm so.freaking.excited.

This is how I look.  All the time.

On Friday, our fourth graders graduated.  They sang a bunch of songs and it was basically an overload of Precious and Adorable.  Over.load.  I don't know when I became such a wimp, but I totally teared up a few times.  To congratulate them and to say goodbye, we got each of them a book.

So many books.  I kind of want to read a lot of them myself, now...

I finally figured out how to build the entryway table I've been meaning to make for a while now.

Super stellar sketch of the table I have in mind.

I was trying to think of different ways to get thin poles through all of the books and then attach the planks of wood, and since I've never really built anything, I got pretty much nowhere with that plan.  But then I did a bit of research and figured out that I could mod podge the books together.  I had considered that, but I was all, "yeah, but the pages!  They won't be glued together!  It won't work!" ...Not realizing that, duh, I could mod podge the sides of the pages.  doof.  Pictures and possibly a how-to coming soon.

I went to lunch with a friend this week.  I ordered bbq chicken flatbread and made it through half of it before noticing that there was neither chicken nor bbq sauce on it.  The fuck?

Yesterday I posted this gem of a post: "Today is pretty much going like this..."  Clearly, I was in a spectacular mood.  I've got a bunch of crap going on right now.

A few weeks ago I had my gallbladder removed, and I've been doing some reading on what kind of food is best to eat if you don't have a gallbladder.  It's fine to go back to a normal diet, but fatty foods should be... ahem, not frequently eaten, let's say.  I've been trying to eat healthier food anyway.  Still, though.  The sites all said something along the lines of "thick gravies, sauces, ice cream," (and more) should not be eaten often.  And I was all,

I was singing this to my cans of cream of chicken.  Not really.  But.  

Thankful for 

Good friends.

Books I'm reading now 

Yeah!  Finished The Twelve Tribes of Hattie!  It was phenomenal.  I think I might do a book review of both that and The Great Divorce in one post this week.  Hopefully.  I'm thinking that Little Women will be finished next.

Best kid quotes

The fourth graders needed to write down what they want to be when they grow up.  A nine year old boy (who has been quoted in prior weeklings before) wrote, "Seal Team Six WARRIOR."  I have a feeling the kid is going to grow up to become a scientist or something, but whatever.  We all laughed at his response, though.  Another kid wrote "Navy SEAL," but I guess we got a kick out of how detailed he was.  And the fact that he said "warrior."

"Charlotte, I could totally picture you as a kid.  You'd probably be really fun to hang out with, but you would probably own us in gym.  Or are you only good because you're older than us now?"  Nine year old boy.

Random

I hate when men wear flip flops.  I mean, I hate flip flops in general (maybe I could understand fancier-looking ones, but not the regular ones).  But they especially irk me when men are wearing them.

I don't think I like plain quinoa.  I made it last week in chicken broth and the juice from diced tomatoes and liked it.  But yesterday I made it in water and then put some apples in it and it just didn't taste wonderful.

There are about five churches within walking distance of where we live, and every Sunday I can hear the church bells.  I love it.  But today I discovered that if we're sitting on the front steps, we can also hear the organ during the services.  SO NICE.

Our front yard has roses blooming at the moment:

They're pink and white.  This picture sucks, so I should probably take a better one tomorrow.

To-do 

Still working on acquiring a dresser to paint.  And I'm hoping to finish the table I mentioned above.  But something I actually NEED to get done this week is coasters.  I need to make coasters.

Links worth looking at

I'm going to start with the lighter stuff, and share the dark stuff at the end.

There's a Mystical Forest in Belgium All Carpeted With Bluebell Flowers - Bored Panda 
Can I please live here?  I'd most definitely build a little cottage and stay there forevah.

Daniel Radcliffe Sorts Celebrities into Different Hogwarts Houses - Buzzfeed
Hey Daniel, I'm happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but I'd do the best job sorting celebrities into Hogwarts Houses ever.  (No but really, this was awesome, but I'd do a better job.  Just saying.)

Next Time You Bully Someone, You Better Hope They're Not Related to Him - Upworthy
Okay, mostly this was just cute (though also heartbreaking..).  This little girl was getting bullied, her brother asked Santa to help her, you get it.  But, as though the brother being all kind and wonderful wasn't enough, the news guy asks the brother, "Would you switch places with your sister and have them bully you instead, if you could?"  (or something like that) and of course, he says yes.  And then the little girl goes, "You don't have to do that!"  It was freaking precious.  But sad, because bullying is a horrible thing.  And yes, I realize I just defeated the whole point of you clicking on over to that link...

Jesse Williams Accurately Describes Why I Spent Most Of My American History Class Rolling My Eye - Upworthy
Jesse Williams is the actor with gorgeous eyes who plays Jackson Avery on Grey's Anatomy.  But before he did that, he was a teacher.  And a damn good one, I'd bet.

Prancersise: A Fitness Workout - Youtube
Oh my gosh, this.  This is amazing.  I'm making my friends do this with me.

25 Puns So Terrible They Should Be Made Illegal - Buzzfeed
It's no joke I love puns.  I love them.  My shining moment was one in which I made a brilliant pun.  I think my favorite in this article are the pear ones.  Supear hero omg.

For Any Confused World Cup Fans, this is Absolutly Genius - tickld
I really do not care all that much about the World Cup (but I'll root for America since I'm not a traitor).  But this was entertaining and a little funny.

A Fierce Girl Grows Up, Speaks Her Mind, Is Praised By World Leaders And A Comic Captures It All - Upworthy
This is Maya Angelou's poem, Phenomenal Woman, in comic form.  Awesome.

Old House Dreaming - Brave in Love
Most of my friends have a list of things they want to do before "settling down."  Travel is probably the most popular item on their lists.  Don't get me wrong, I want to do a lot of things, and travelling is one of them, but "settling down" is higher on my own list than anything else.  This post at Brave in Love is mostly the author daydreaming about farmhouses.  And I am in love with alllllllll of them.  I daydream about farmhouses myself, so I'm always entertained by this kind of post.

Is This the End of Teachers Unions? - Ebony
"For educators of the nation’s youth, tenure means the right to due process. That means that before a teacher can be relieved of their teaching position, they have the right to a legal process that allows them to make a defense to the charges against them."  Hey, let's like, NOT buy into the anti-labor rhetoric, yes?

Detroit Water Brigade
They're turning water off for over 300,000 people.  (300,000 human beings.  300,000 souls.) Privatization of water merits its own post on here, and it's no secret that I hate capitalism and this is one of the reasons, but really, the only thing I can think to say about this link is pretty much something like you've got to be fucking kidding me.

Jason Hanna And Joe Riggs, Texas Gay Fathers, Denied Legal Parenthood Of Twin Sons - Huffington Post
I think people forget that the 14th amendment exists.  Also, stop with the bs that gay parents aren't healthy for kids.  The best thing for kids is having parents that want them and take care of them, regardless of whether it's two moms or two dads or one of each.  Ugh.

Pennsylvania ordered its health workers to never discuss fracking - Grist
Just another example of putting profit over people.  But guys, capitalism is wonderful.

More than 10,000 suicides attributed to Great Recession, study finds - Al Jazeera
See explanation for previous link.

How to Build a Powerful People's Movement - The Nation
Well at least there's some hope.  "Prophetic moral vision seeks to penetrate despair, so that we can believe in and embrace new futures. It does not ask if the vision can be implemented— slaves didn’t get out of slavery by first figuring out how to get out; they got out because they were driven by a vision that said, “Oh freedom over me. / And before I’d questions of implementation are of no consequence until the vision can be imagined. The be a slave / I’d be buried in my grave / And go home to my Lord and be free.”        

But really, I think we're going to see a revolution (a much needed revolution) within ten years.  Because it's not okay to make people disposable in the name of a damn profit.

Bonus

My oldest friend and I on our first day of school circa 2003.   Yeah, we wore matching outfits on our first day of school.  In junior high.  In the same building.  #cool #swag

Enjoy the rest of your night.  :)

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Charlotte

Today is pretty much going like this...

Not really this one, but I wish.

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Charlotte

Spiders and God-Given Talents: Education Policy in America

I think there are a lot of problems with education policy in America.  This blog post talks about how children are meant to explore the world around them – the world that is inherently good and beautiful:

“We believe it’s good for our kids to learn about animals, plants, rivers, etc. because those things have intrinsic value and because they reflect the goodness of their creator. With this view, learning becomes not just a means to an end but an act of praise in itself.” *

Everybody, Catholic or not, can and should appreciate the world and everything it has to offer.  It’s a shame that education policy in America doesn’t encourage or even allow this. 

But that’s not the only thing I find seriously troubling about education policy. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One of the little boys in my morning program loves nature.  Loves it.  He’s brought me over to the edge of the playground to look at the trees because they all have trunks that look different.  In the winter, he and I sat looking out the window, mesmerized by the sun rising behind the bare tree branches.  When we talk about movie options, he suggests Planet Earth.  His love for nature includes nasty things, though.  Like spiders.  I hate spiders, but he loves them and gave me a lesson on different kinds of spiders. 

“Isn’t it cool how there are so many kinds of spiders?  Everyone will find at least one that they like.” 

I like the sentiment.  Because you know what?  He’s probably right.  After arguing with him about how gross they are, I finally admitted that a spider that kills mosquitoes is cool with me, so long as it isn’t crawling anywhere near me.   

This kid would love nothing more than to stay outside all day and learn about the things around him.  But he can’t do that.  Because it’s the end of the school year, and there are a lot of standardized tests to take.  And a few months earlier, it was the middle of the year, and so there were a lot of standardized tests to take. 

I’m not suggesting that we dump all tests and let kids wander all day, every day.  (Although that would be a lot of fun.)

But I do think we need to radically change education in America, because talents and passions are like spiders; everyone will find at least one that they like, one thing they’re great at doing.  But, when kids are being taught from mundane (and misguiding) textbooks written by corporations, they’re not exploring their surroundings.  They’re not testing out their skills.  When they’re constantly taking tests or memorizing how to take tests, they’re not working towards figuring out what their talents are or what they are passionate about. 

A while ago, the kids were telling me about their science lessons.  One of the eight year olds who is normally disinterested in school was super excited about the experiments they were doing in class.  But after a few days, they needed to stop all experiments to prepare for state tests.  “I don’t think my teacher wants to, but we have to because we need to pass the tests.”

This kid, who really doesn’t like school, needed to stop learning about the one thing he did enjoy because of a standardized test that doesn’t measure intelligence, creativity, or personality.  Obviously, school can’t be a place where kids just learn about one thing for twelve years.  They need to learn science and math and English and social studies.  But they should have ample time to explore their interests.  And when they do find something that drives them, they should be able to pursue it. 

And teachers, not tests, are the ones that recognize each child’s talents and passions.  Teachers and parents are able to measure a child’s progress.  A multiple choice test will never be able to do that.

I firmly believe that each person has a God-given talent or calling.  And an education system so focused on churning numbers and keeping their eyes on the future workforce and profits does nothing to honor those gifts.  That kind of education system ignores the fact that every person is unique and special.  (Sound corny?  Yes.  But true.)

One of the girls in our program was stressing out about her tests.  My coworker and I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t important in the long run.  Her greatest gifts are her confidence and her sense of humor.  God made this girl funny and naturally welcoming.  I can easily see her hosting her own TV show in twenty years.  She’d give Ellen DeGeneres or Jimmy Fallon a run for their money.  It’s what she’s good at, it’s how she can positively affect the world, and it’s what she enjoys.  And no test can reveal that.

Not everyone is going to have a talent or a passion that will translate into a job after graduation.  And that’s fine.  Sometimes, a person’s gift is going to be the ability to put smiles on the faces of everyone they meet.  School can’t really develop that gift, but it can still be a vehicle of good, and it can still be a place where wonder and imagination and curiosity are the goals every day.  

  

And while I think encouraging everyone to develop and share their talents with the world is also an act of praise, as these gifts are God-given, I know my friends who don’t believe in God or who don’t practice religion would agree that each individual is special and has something to offer the world, and that education is one of the ways to make that happen.      

If we were more mindful when crafting education policy, I really believe each person could find their calling. If we designed schools to be architecturally beautiful, I think students would be inspired to learn.  If we made sure every school had a plethora of good teachers, every student would have a mentor to encourage them in their endeavors.  (Which also means it is essential for teachers to be well paid and respected by society.)  If schools were community focused, students could find avenues to share their passions.  If education policy wasn’t determined by corporate interest, I think we’d find the time to make school a place where kids could explore, learn, and grow.  If it were up to me, corporations and their textbooks and tests would have no place in policy, and instead there would be teachers and parents from all kinds of communities making the policies.  Kids are little people, and tests can’t measure them, only other people whose lives they touch can do that.    

*The article I linked to was from Daniel Bearman - Acts of Idiot Praise.  I'm not speaking for the author here, and I'm not sure what he thinks of tests or corporations or policies regarding teachers.  I included his post because I agree with him and think that a longing to learn about the world ought to be part of education policy. 

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Charlotte

Weekling: W.6

For other posts in this series, go here: Weeklings

Happenings

This was the Week of Little Things.

(This is going to be really boring.  Warned you.)

For years now, I've basically eaten fast food or take out for every single meal.  In college it felt like my only option because I worked in the morning, went to class, and worked in the afternoon.  So by the time dinner rolled around, I was exhausted and didn't feel like I had time to cook, anyway.  Everything was just so rushed, so Taco Bell was the fastest and cheapest option.  For the last year or so I've been the same way, except I'd order real food from real restaurants sometimes, if it was in the budget.  On top of being busy, being depressed to the point where making the bed is an accomplishment didn't really help the situation either.

But.

This week, I made a bunch of food.  At my house.  With ingredients.  (Probably some eye rolling going on, as this is something normal people do daily, but it's been a while for me and little things like this add up and make me feel better, so whatever.)  My favorite was probably the mushroom provolone melts I found on Pinterest.  I'm not going to go through everything I made, my point is just that it feels good.

On Friday, a few of our friends came over and we ate pizza followed by this dessert concoction I found online.  It was cherry pie filling, chocolate, and Dr. Pepper thrown in a crock pot and although I should have let it cook longer, it was delish.  We went and saw Maleficent (again) afterwards.  It was a really good night.  Can we talk about how chilling Angelina Jolie's scream/cry is in that movie?  Chills everywhere.

Last week was the first week in months that I didn't have to go to a doctor and get blood drawn or have some painful test done.  It was pretty wonderful.  I don't like complaining about going to the doctors too much, though, because there's a solid chance I won't be able to after July, so...  But yeah, this week ends that mini-vacation, and I get to have blood drawn.  woo.

Thankful for

Obviously there are a lot of people and things I'm always thankful for, and I try to be mindful of them everyday.  But, for the purpose of this post, is it weird to say I'm thankful for Pinterest?  Yes?  Oh well.  It gives me a ton of good recipes and a bunch of sites with directions on how to paint furniture, so, it's been helpful.

Books I'm reading now 

I'm almost done with The Twelve Tribes of Hattie!  Finally.  Still working on Little Women and Divergent.

Best kid quotes

The kids weren't funny this week.  They probably actually were, but I'm drawing a blank right now.  My bad.

Random 

Sour Patch Watermelon candies are my new favorite candy, I think.

I really, really like these earrings.  I don't think they look that great in that picture, but I saw them in real life today and I like them a lot.  But, $24 for earrings makes me cringe a bit.

I live right next to a park and Pride was this weekend.  Usually I hate on any events going on in/near the park, because it means no where to park our cars.  NO WHERE.  But Pride was the first event that didn't involve cars upon cars all over the place, and there was cool music.  Definitely beats a marathon shutting down your street the day that you have surgery and can't walk.  Yeah.

To-do

I've been thinking about my to-do list, and I think I'm going to tackle painting the night stand first.  Right now I'm choosing between painting it somewhat similar to this color:

http://www.southernrevivals.com/2013/09/updating-vintage-sideboard-buffet-with.html

Or something more like this:

http://www.iidudu.com/functional-and-inspirational-classic-distressed-furniture/distressed-antiqued-white-french-provincial-dresser-with-some-patterned-handles-in-black-themes/

Links worth looking at 

Desperate Times Call for the Saint of Desperate Cases - Catholic Exchange
If Homeless People Looked Like This Would We Still Ignore Them? - Upwprthy
Defense officials prepare to fight the poor, activists, and minorities (and commies) - The Guardian

This will be the last week I slack on links, swearsies.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend :)

__

Charlotte

Capitalism and Health

Until a few years ago, I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to have headaches every day.  I knew I had “severe, lay down in complete darkness or I might actually die” headaches more often than most, but I attributed that to the level of stress in my life and to the fact that I tend to have really bad luck.  I figured other people also got headaches pretty frequently, but just not as bad as I did.

I’ve had headaches forever.  I don’t remember them being daily before high school, but I’ve always gotten them fairly often.  I’m still not sure what causes them.  What I do know, though, is that I couldn’t see a doctor for them.  In high school I didn’t have good insurance and in college I didn’t have any insurance.  So I’d load up on ibuprofen and try to function.  Some days it was too much, and I’d have to stay in bed.  I’d cap the ibuprofen at eight pills at once, and if it was painful enough that eight pills wouldn’t do it, I’d try to sleep. 

There were maybe ten times throughout college that I needed to just drive myself to the emergency room because of it.  Since I didn’t have insurance, I tried to not do that unless I started to lose portions of my vision and/or feel dizzy.  Every time I went, they’d prescribe pain pills.  The first few times, I was content with that.  Anything that gave me some relief was welcome.  But after a while, I worried that I would become addicted to the pills.  I was also concerned that we’d never figure out why I was having headaches if all they ever did was give me pain meds.  So I started to beg them to run tests.  Any kind of tests.  I asked them to hold off on the pain meds and just figure out what was causing the problem.  I remember one time, a resident at the ER was really nice, and was going over various causes of headaches that were accompanied by my other symptoms (dizziness, lightheadedness, nausea, sometimes numbness).  He told me a few different tests they’d run, listing them from least invasive (CAT scans) to most invasive (something about sticking a needle in my back, which sounded really awful).  No one likes being poked and prodded, so I wasn’t exactly giddy about all this, but I was at least thankful that maybe we could finally figure this out.

About an hour later, the resident came back to tell me the attending doctor said they wouldn’t do the tests, to write me a prescription, and to send me home.  I straight up started crying.  

I haven’t gone back to the hospital for headaches since then because really, what’s the point?

Now I’ve had insurance for the last several months, and I haven’t been turned away once. 

I understand hospitals and doctors need to be paid, but it’s absurd that people don’t get treated because they can’t afford the (astronomical) prices of healthcare. 

(Maybe instead of spending a ton of money on weapons we don’t need and tax breaks the ultra-wealthy don’t need, the government could fully reimburse doctors and hospitals when they provide treatment for poor people/people on Medicaid.  But I suppose that would be akin to the big, bad socialism monster.)

My point, I guess, is that I’m kind of pissed off that my life expectancy is lower because I’m poor.  That I’ve been in pain for YEARS because I’m poor.  That even as a kid, I couldn’t get proper treatment because I didn’t have a ton of money.  

(I said this to someone once, and they responded with something along the lines of, “Well, you’ll go when God wants you to go.”  And sure.  That’s fine.  If it’s in God’s will that I die tomorrow, though I hope it’s not, I’ll die tomorrow and I won’t be pissed off at God.  But if I die before I should have because I spent the first 23 years of my life living in poverty, you’re damn straight I’d be pissed off.  Not at God, but at the people who think it’s okay.  At the people who think money is everything.  At the capitalist class.)   

Those headaches I mentioned have brought a plethora of other problems both health related and unrelated to health.  Ulcers from taking too much ibuprofen.  Horrible grades in school from missing class so often.  A generally bad attitude, because it’s hard and tiring and frustrating to wake up every day in pain, knowing you’re very likely not going to get better.  This may sound like one big complaint, and that may make some eyes roll, but I don’t care.  Until you’ve lived it, please don’t tell me to pull myself up by my bootstraps, or that if I work hard enough, this will all go away.  Because I do work hard.  My friends who are also poor do work hard.  And we’re all in the same boat of having health issues that will never go away, regardless of how hard we work. 

Because we were born poor. 

If you can’t see how that’s wrong, nothing I say will convince you.  And getting out of poverty – getting a relatively well paying job, having good health insurance – isn’t going to change the fact that we’re sicker than our wealthier counterparts or that we’re dying sooner than our wealthier counterparts.  Living in poverty for such a long period of time makes its mark and doesn’t leave.  Being stressed out every. single. day.  Takes a mental and physical toll.  My body is more worn than it would have been if I wasn’t living in poverty for so long.  My mentality, my perseverance, is stretched thinner than it would have been if I wasn’t living in poverty for so long.  Are there exceptions to this?  Are there people who find a way out and manage to have smiles on their faces despite a rough start?  Yes.  Of course.  Power to them.  But the fact that there are exceptions doesn’t mean we should expect every poor person to overcome.  The vast majority don’t.  We live in an economy that was built to keep us that way. 

Am I mad at middle class or affluent people for having insurance and a longer life expectancy?  No.  But I’m mad at the system and I’m mad at the people who create it and do everything they can to maintain it.

I’m not Gilgamesh, I’m not on some ridiculous quest to find immortality.  But dying five years sooner that I would if I had money?  That’s something I don’t want.  Five years isn’t a tremendous amount of time.  But at 70-75?  Do you know how many grandkids can be born in five years?  How many places you can visit?  Life is precious and every life – even the lives of poor people – should be valued by society.   

People can say capitalism is good all they want.  They’re wrong.  A system that preys on people, that literally lets people die, that lets people wither away in pain and despair, is wrong.  It’s just wrong.  I don’t want a system where everyone has exactly the same amount of money and the same healthcare policies.  But after dealing with a system where money determines everything, I definitely want a system where everyone has ENOUGH money and access to good healthcare.  Capitalism will never, ever be that system.   

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Charlotte

"I need him to protect me." - Women aren't the ones who should be embarrassed for wanting a man's protection

A few weeks ago I overheard a conversation between two college students.  They were women.  They were talking about a guy one of them liked, and she was giving her reasons.  He’s smart, funny, cute…  and he “comes to walk me back from class whenever I need him to.”

Her friend looked at her and asked, “Need him to?  Why would you need him to?”

“To protect me.”

“Are you kidding?  Real women don’t need a man’s protection.”

***

This seems relevant because of the recent surge of #yesallwomen and #notallmen appearing online. 

Most of my friends who are men understand that feminism is a good thing.  They understand that they have an obligation to speak for women and with women because they speak from a place of safety – especially if they’re cis straight white men.  Women are often beaten, raped, groped, or even killed for speaking up against harassment.  (Also for things like demanding equal rights and an end to oppression.)

While women define feminism and play important roles, it’s just a fact that we’re often in danger when doing so.  In a recent conversation I had with a few people online, the issue of catcalling came up.  One of the men insisted that women and men need to play an equal role in combatting this issue (and others).  He also said women should/can “just ignore it.”  His point, it seemed, was that women should either say something to their harassers or learn to ignore it.  (Completely diminishing the severity of the problem.)  

Now, if I’m walking down the street and this happens, I might say something.  It honestly depends on my mood and how many men (I’ll only say something if it’s one man) and how big the man is.  But nine times out of ten, I’m not in the mood to say something back or to stand up for myself.  In reality, that’s the smartest thing for me to do.  It’s just not safe to combat it.  This isn’t me ignoring catcalling.  Sure, I’m not vocally responding.  But that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t racing or that I’m not clenching my keys Wolverine-style so that I can defend myself if the need arises.  It doesn’t mean I’m not scared and wondering if I’ll be able to run fast enough in whatever shoes I happen to be wearing.  And if you’re a man, I’m sorry (not sorry), but yes, you do have a responsibility to say something.  You aren’t in danger the way we are.

During that online conversation, several women tried explaining to the man what it’s like to be a woman.  What it’s like to have to be vigilant just to walk to your car.  The above description I gave of Wolverine-keys and racing hearts was something most, if not all, related to.  He insisted, though, that you can in fact ignore catcalling.  That men, also, can ignore it. 

Knowing how many women are sexually harassed, how many women are beaten, how many women are raped means we cannot ignore it, regardless of what that man says.  Being told from the time we were little that we always should walk in groups of three so that we won’t get attacked means we cannot ignore it.  There’s fear instilled in women from the beginning.  And it’s not our fault that we’re scared (nothing annoys me more than when men refer to this as “playing the victim”).  And we’re not wrong to keep our mouths shut and heads down if we’re catcalled.  Women shouldn’t blame other women for not verbally responding, but men really shouldn’t blame us for not verbally responding.

(It’s worth mentioning that sometimes women respond to catcalling by saying something like, “I’ll just take that as a compliment.”  Men, you also don’t have a right to judge that.  I’ve said it before and some of my friends have said it before, and it was never because we actually felt complimented.  It’s because we’d rather feign flattery than become super anxious and look over our shoulders 42 times to see if we’re being followed/stared at.)

I was in a gender class my senior year of college and the professor asked the men to raise their hands if they’ve ever been sexually harassed at their workplace.  Not one hand went in the air.  She then asked the women, and every single woman raised her hand.

I guess all this is to say, we’re conditioned to be in fear.  We feel it at work, we feel it in school, and we feel it when we’re walking down the street.  And you know what, I do often feel like I need a man with me to protect me.  I can’t count the amount of times I’ve waited to go back to my car until there was a man I know to walk me there.  Obviously, I’m not going to marry a man because I want a big, strong guy to protect me.  But yes, having a man (not romantically, just any man I know and feel comfortable with) with me does make me feel safer.  That doesn’t make me – or any other woman who feels the same way – any less of a woman.  Men shouldn’t tell a woman how she should react to harassment (he should, though, tell other men not to harass), but women shouldn’t judge each other for it, either. 

Women: we shouldn’t be embarrassed about wanting a man to walk us to our cars or our homes.  Men should be embarrassed that women are so at risk that we feel the need to be accompanied everywhere by a man.  Men are the ones who’ve perpetrated crimes against women and men are the ones who have the ability to speak for and with women from a place of safety.   

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Charlotte

Weekling: W.5

For previous posts in this series, go here: Weeklings

Happenings

This week was weird.  It was semi-busy for the first few days, but once I hit my last day of work it just became a big vat of boring and I was going out of my mind.  After realizing that doing nothing would make me insane and just become worse with time, I told myself, "I should organize everything!  All the things!"

...So now I've got a killer to-do list for the apartment, a list of doctors to see, and a week filled with things like oil changes and getting brakes fixed.  And applying for jobs.  And I cleaned (okay, well, almost finished cleaning) my bedroom and did a bit of a purge.  All in all I donated 6 bags of stuff and threw out a bunch of junk.  And rearranged my furniture.  Once all of my errands are done, I'm going to need to figure out something else to do. 

Also, my friend and I went to see Maleficent this week.  It was awesome and you should see it.  It was badass.  And good.  Elle Fanning was fine in it, but nothing special.  Angelina Jolie was incredible, though.    

Over all, not a bad week, just a strange one. 

Thankful for 

Doctors.  And the fact that I have a car.

Books I'm reading now

I finally finished The Great Divorce.  Review coming soon.  Still working on Divergent, Little Women, and The Twelve Tribes of Hattie. 

Best kid quotes 

"Would you rather have to get everywhere on a bike, or have a really ratchet car?"

(After seeing my face)

"What?  I know what ratchet means.  I'm cool, I know this stuff."

-Nine year old girl

"She's not an aspiring singer, she's an expired singer." 

-SAME nine year old girl

The fourth graders needed to write down their favorite memories at the school and/or something they will miss after "graduating."  This nine (maybe ten) year old boy said, "My absolute favorite memory from school is nap time because I really love sleeping."  Oh my God. 

To-do

Yes!  The to-do list!  I made it.  I'll cross things off as I finish them.  

Here it is: List

Links worth looking at

The Saints & Depression - Catholic Exchange

10 Weeks to a Dream Outdoor Space - Apartment Therapy

Working class must organize its own political party - The Militant

Privatizing Government Services Doesn't Only Hurt Public Workers - In These Times

Don't read the next two if you haven't seen Maleficent but want to.

Is Maleficent Disney's Most Feminist Movie Yet? - Huffington Post

Maleficent: Once Upon a Feminist's Dream? - The Mary Sue

Bonus

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. :) 

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Charlotte