link love

My life has been consumed by Harry Potter lately. Not complaining. Not complaining AT ALL.

I'm helping out part time at a greenhouse. I work every other day. It's backbreaking work and I'm exhausted, like, 90% of the time. I've been doing a lot of reading on my days off though, so that's good. 

But reading and working isn't enough. I've also joined the Y (I think I mentioned that in this post) and I'm trying to set a routine this week. In my head I like to think I'll go work out every day.. but I know that's something I'll have to work up to. I think going four times a week might be a nice start. My current sneakers are all torn up, so I'm keeping those for work and I ordered myself this pair for exercising/going about life. They should arrive tomorrow - fingers crossed they fit. (I was going for something that'd be appropriate in the gym but would also look cool af. Success or nah?) 

Liz shared this hilarious but super accurate list of charts for people who worry about everything all the time. It rings especially true as I write about going to the Y...... I may or may not be working myself up over it. "What if I don't know how to work any of the machines?" "What if I can't find where the gym section is?" "What if the people who work there hate me because I annoy them with questions?" "What if I look awful in my work out clothes?" Stop worrying, Charlotte. I have honest to God things to worry about, so I don't love when I get crazy over nothing.

I've been working on my body and my physical health, but I also need to work on other aspects of my life. ~spirituality~ for instance. So! Finally trying to get my act together and go to confession.... it's been 17 years. 17! Mind you, I didn't really know I was supposed to go for most of those years, but I have known for at least the last few months that we're supposed to go. I don't know what's been stopping me. I found this link helpful for tips on examining your conscience (plus knowing what to say once you're in there). And hey, speaking of religion - Pope Francis is getting an instagram! Woo! 

And since we're on the topic of sacraments - this is a beautiful post about the baptism of two baby girls before they passed away, written by their mother. 

"Because after I had done all a mother could do – carry life within me, nurture them with good food and quiet rest, place them in the care of wise and trusted doctors, let myself be broken open that they might come into the world – he did all that a father could do. He took them into his hands and gave them new life, second birth, death with Christ."

That post reminds me of this picture of a newborn baby being washed in a refugee camp. Heartbreaking, and we could do better. 

Moving on to much less important things.. 

I'm pretty sure I have something wrong with me because I honestly teared up while watching a video of random people on a beach working together to help struggling dolphins get back into deeper water. 

I marveled over this article. Two women are no longer friends because one "stole" the baby name of the other. I think it's kind of crazy. I'd understand being upset, but.. there are ways to work around a "stolen" name. (I know Liz and I share some taste in baby names and I know for a fact that my friend Dana and I are planning on using the name "Teddy" - she says I should let her have it because I have a whole list of names I love and she doesn't. We shall see.)

Speaking of baby names! Hop on over to Appellation Mountain for "March Madness," where voters pick the best baby names. (You'll have to scroll down a tad.) I'm currently rooting for Theodore, Sullivan and Marigold, Clementine. 

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is coming back and the trailer has got me excited!! And because I love it and I think it's something Kimmy Schmidt would put in her apartment, check out this DIY project! (I also liked this idea for tea at your desk, and I love the sentiment, but I sort of think it's a little corny? corny could be good, though!)

Oh man, moving away from the happy-go-lucky stuff: Madonna. Ugh. She ripped a teenager's shirt to expose her breast while on stage, without asking. The girl has defended Madonna, saying she wasn't humiliated and breasts aren't something to be ashamed of. I'm glad she wasn't embarrassed and I agree that breasts aren't shameful, but... missing the point. She exposed someone's body without consent. And then she joked about sexual harassment! Downright fucking despicable. 

I feel like that'd be a weird link to end on, so here, enjoy this Buzzfeed quiz that determines "what percentage Death Eater you are." (I was 31%. Pretty sure Madonna is 92%.)

See ya next week with some more ever-exciting links from around the web. 

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Charlotte

Today

DOUBLE RAINBOWWWW (not mine, but it conveys my attitude at the moment)

My days have been starting off kind of rocky because I usually wake up with back pain, very tired from nights of restlessness. Today was no different, but I reached over and grabbed Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows off of the floor and read it for a good hour or two. That's a nice way to start the day. I took my sweet ass time getting dressed. (I work only a few days a week, but on my "off days" I'm extremely tired. "Work" is doing things in a greenhouse, the sun beating on me for hours, temperatures reaching into the 100s. It is not easy. I am therefore very lazy on my off days.) I shared this blog post about being a Catholic and a progressive and declared my plan to go vote for Bernie Sanders. It quickly received a ton of new views and people tweeted it and that always makes me a little uneasy - new people reading?! Will they think I'm nuts? You know, the usual thoughts. But I didn't stress about it. I got in the car and took the long way to the polling place so that I could see the pretty mountain views on my way. I complain about being in the south a lot, but I have to admit that I live in a really, really pretty area. I voted (for Bernie! I had the biggest, cheesiest smile while doing so and I didn't care one bit about the glances). My "TAX THE RICH" bumper sticker was stolen off of my car (this is how I feel about that).

I was treated to pizza for lunch. It was perfect weather. I usually bump the radio and the air conditioner in my car, but it was just so nice that I opted to roll my windows down instead. Felt great, though not the best look for my hair. I stopped at the YMCA. I joined! I'm so super stoked. I was unpleasantly surprised when they asked to take my picture right then and there - immediately regretted keeping those windows rolled down. My hair had been pulled back into a tight bun, but the wind... messed that up. I legit looked like this:

But that's okay, my mood couldn't be brought down. Today has been almost strange because of how good I felt. I was in moderate pain all day. There are things that are stressing me out. But today. Today was just nice. I don't know if it was the Harry Potter, the voting, or the YMCA. Whatever it was, can I have more of this tomorrow? And the day after? And the day after that? What's more, this doesn't feel like a little spurt of energy. Sometimes when you're depressed you'll get into these wonderful moods that last anywhere from a day to a couple of weeks. You think up grand plans, you feel on top of the world.

Today did not feel like that. It was just a good day. I figured I ought to share it here, because there's nothing people love more than reading the tiny details of another person's day.   

Am I right?




...no, probably not.

Off to read some more Harry Potter and eat some chocolate chip cookies. <3
__
Charlotte

link love

Found this little castle at a cool shop in town. My first thought was to put it in a huge planter with ground cover and whimsical plants (similar to this) but I'm holding off because now... well now I'm wondering if I should put it on a shelf with all my Harry Potter books/objects. I mean, it's very Hogwarts-esque. 

It's taking an absurd amount of effort to write this. I had a rough night. I took the medical tape off of my back yesterday (a nice addition to my wardrobe every now and then since the accident) and... nope, nope, should not have done that. I never keep it on for more than 6ish days, but it was helping so much that I left it on for over a week. I figured it was best to take it off and then I regretted it while I spent the night writhing in pain. My legs also seemed to be extra achy, but who knows if that's related? Not I. 

I've been a little under the weather this week - not sure if it's just a cold or if it's from medicine or what but I felt so sick the other day that I did something VERY unlike me and went to the store and bought.... a fresh salad. It was an otherworldly experience. Also, it did not help. But I do feel like my body is craving vegetables. I also fucked up and drank, like, three sodas in the last two days. I'd gotten down to about 1-2 a week, so this was an anomaly and I'm kind of surprised how sick it made me feel. 

Moving on to shinier things, though. 

I'm in the market for a new pair of sneakers. I want something that will be good for working out AND that are ~cool~ but I'm a novice at working out and I've never been cool so it's a tricky challenge. I am just about settled on these though. 

I know I just finished talking about food and drink but take a gander at this list of stuff that might make depression worse. All of the good things in life, of course! I've actually stopped drinking coffee (for the most part - I'll drink it here and there) and like I said, I've laid back on the soda big time. But fried chicken? Please don't make me do it!

I've been reading some of the Harry Potter books for about the 605th time and my bud Liz sent me a Christmas/Galentine/Valentine/spring/"Miss you" gift - a huge and amazing Harry Potter coloring book. Needless to say, I've got myself in a bit of a Harry Potter mood. So when I got a few bucks from working (in 100+ degree greenhouses, kill me) I finally treated myself to this book. It's in transit. I'm very excited. 

This story about the kind of trash workers found in the bottom of a canal in France puzzled me. Some of it is expected (though still shameful) - bottles, cans, etc. But... why so many bikes? And motorcycles?! What with never having the urge to throw my bike into a body of water, I feel a little perplexed. 

I do love some Netflix, especially while feeling cruddy. I thought this list of movies was great, and I think I might watch Roman Holiday today.

Oh man, sometimes I hate it when people say "suck it up." Loathe it in some circumstances. (Sometimes it's okay - sometimes I'm truly just being lazy or wimpy and I need a friend to tell me to suck it up. But if someone is suffering... don't tell them to suck it up.) One of the nice things about getting back into Catholicism has been the idea of "offering it up." I loved this post about the difference between "sucking it up" and "offering it up." The latter is much better. Pain and suffering is hard, but you shouldn't have to hide it - and, if you "offer it up," you can use it to help people, too. 

I like hot dogs, I don't like Donald Trump, and I've always wanted to visit Chicago. So this sounds perfect.

I love me a before and after post. Or two.

Making this! Not today, but later this week. Chicken and dumplings is pretty much my favorite. I don't know how this will compare to homemade, but I also don't care. It looks delicious and easy. (Liz, click on it.)

I agree with what he's saying about Malia and Sasha's $20k dresses, and really, people should leave them alone... but I also feel weird that we live in a world where there are such things as dresses that cost $20,000. Thoughts? (Also, they're gorgeous.)

This story of a baby's heart starting to heal after being blessed by Pope Francis! <3 <3 <3

I don't need a huge house, but I can't fathom living like this. Too small, and... not worth it, for me.

And you've probably already seen this, but I loved this video of Van Gogh's art animated.  

That's all I've got this week!

__

Charlotte

Currently Reading (March 2016)

Yesterday I mentioned that my reading habits have morphed into something fierce and relentless. Slight exaggeration for dramatic flair, but still. I've always tended to read multiple books at once, but that has always meant I've read around two or three books at once. Lately.... nearly ten books. I'm attributing it to how busy I've been. Sometimes I just don't want to read a serious book, so I turn to Amy Poehler's autobio. Other times the mere thought of reading an autobiography makes me woozy, so I'll pick up my beloved instead. Yet other times I'll want to read George Orwell. For like six hours straight. It's a crazy world I live in.

My current reads go something like:

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

I read the HP books several times a year. I'm that cool. Right now I'm making my way through ootp, which is nice because usually I read books 4 or 7 over and over and I neglect the others. Harry Potter > most other things in life. No books make me happier than HP. 

2. Meet the New You

Okay fine, done, but I just reviewed it yesterday, which is when I started this post, so I'm including it. For details on it, check out my review over on Filthy Casket. I enjoy reading the occasional self-help book (except this shit) and I've noticed I'm much more likely follow through on my goals and on good habits when I read these kind of books, so I like to read them every few weeks.

3. The Color Purple

I joined Emma Watson's book club on Goodreads (which is called Our Shared Shelf, but I still think it ought to have been called Femmanist Book Club). Anyway, The Color Purple was her book choice for February, and I'm just a little behind. But I WILL catch up. I always do. (Lol not always, but like half the time, which is great in baseball, so...) This is definitely one of the heavier reads, both in regard to the content and the writing (it's written in the way it would be spoken, and I always take a bit longer reading books like that). 

4. 1984 

This has been on my list for literal years. Years. It's also on our list of books to read in our twenties (granted, it's specifically on Liz's list, but I'm a dunce who just forgot to include it). I love this kind of book, even though they're usually sadly on point/prophetic.

5. Sleeping Murder 

A library pick. I've just now started this, and I've got high hopes for it. I love Agatha Christie and have yet to read something of hers I haven't liked. This will be my first Miss Marple book. Very excited. 

6. The Onyx Vial

Just purchased this treat. For some reason (because I'm a snob, probably) I didn't think I'd be into this book based on the cover and the title. But the description hooked me.

7. The Mapmaker's Children

I chose this as my next Blogging For Books pick. (So keep an eye out for a review on FC soon-ish.) I think it sounds fantastic and I can't wait to get my hot little perpetually cold hands on it.

8. Out of the Silent Planet

I started this book ages ago and put it down for some reason (most likely, I turned to HP). But I do remember being intrigued as I read along, and I've started back up. This is strictly an at-home read for me since it's in a book housing the entire trilogy and therefore doesn't fit in my bag. I mention this because I tend to take a longer time reading books if I don't bring them along to waiting rooms and such. But I'm determined to finish it this month!

I do feel like I'm forgetting one more.... I'm sure I'll remember it at some supremely inconvenient hour. 

What are you reading?    

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Charlotte

February Into March | 2016

'pologies for the crappy picture. took it mainly to show my bud Liz a pic of my new-to-me shoes and sweater.

Hello, party people! 

I've been ever so consistent with these monthly posts. (/sarcasm) Things have been extremely busy lately - both good busy and bad busy. I think the last time I wrote a legit monthly post was October/November?? And then I got into an accident, derailing, um, everything. But things feel like maybe perhaps possibly they are on the upswing. Sort of.

So yes! Things went a little haywire. But I'm trying to get back into my mediocre blogging habits - a hefty step up from my current slacker situation. I did manage to get a book review up today! Wooo! Did something!

In all seriousness, I have been doing things lately. Liiike: 

1. Made this:

Let me tell you, actually doing the things I save on Pinterest is hella satisfying. Plus, this was fun AND productive. I get to watch it grow which is nice, but I'm also making about ten more to be sold ($ holla) at the store I help out at. Exciting. Unless no one buys them, in which case I'll be a 24 year old with hurt feelings and 11 gnome gardens. Prospects! Speaking of that store - I've been helping out a few hours here and there and it feels good to be a semi-productive member of society again. Unfortunately...

2. Paying Bills

Alright, listen. I'm glad to pay my bills, and the weight that slowly lifts off the old shoulders is terrific with each payment. But I also feel as though I'm living a near-constant anxiety attack because, well, my life is just wasting away. Am I being dramatic? A little! But here's the thing: a few months ago I hatched out the beginnings of a plan. It was a back up plan. It involved staying in the south instead of moving back to my beloved Albany. But it did involve moving. And the plan heavily relied on banking all of the money I'd make at that garden store. (As much as possible anyway. I still have basic bills, obviously.) But... bills. I've got basically mountains of medical bills, and I've been adding to them because... 

3. Fixing my mouth

Yeah, that was weirdly worded. I've had problems with my teeth for years, and I'm finally at a point where I can do something about it. So I've got dentist bills, oral surgeon bills, primary bills, and even a shnazzy emergency room bill. I found an awesome dentist and I'm getting less and less terrified with every appointment (although... still can't stop myself from shaking uncontrollably every. single. time.). So at the moment my plan has taken a back seat to this. I can't save much money at all, so it looks like I won't be moving by summertime. Definitely by next winter though (I have the added motivation of my family moving here - so I will definitely be out of here, if it means I'm living out of my car). Really, my dental issues are almost resolved, so hopefully even before winter. I'm disappointed about the postponement, but I'm also glad I'm getting everything fixed. I am so looking forward to the day when I'm not in pain and when I can actually chew. It's going to be glorious. 

4. Other medical stuff

I hesitate to write this, fearing I may jinx it, but..... it is starting to feel like my medical problems are truly clearing up. KNOCK THE F ON WOOD, EVERYONE. I still get abdominal pain sometimes, and I don't know if it's my bile duct or not, but I do know it's manageable. The endometriosis... well, it's still there. I have killer cramps sometimes, but for the most part, otc pain meds are enough (knock on wood again). I don't like that birth control is just a bandaid and that I still have stuff growing on my organs, but... I can't worry about it right now. I want just a leeettle bit of stability, and then I'll tackle it again. I do still have bad back pain and sometimes-bad shoulder/collarbone pain from the accident. It's really not fun, and some days it knocks me out. But at least it's not as though I'm facing another surgery. So that's hopeful. 

I swear, the very moment I finished writing that paragraph I got a sharp cramp in my lower abdomen. DAMMIT, CHARLOTTE. (Cramp now gone. Know the drill, knock on wood.)

5. Other mentionables - 

Oh, gosh. My car. I was driving around one day when I hit a tiny bump and WHAM. My car honestly felt like it was going to fall apart. I got out to check the tires, because it straight up felt like an entire wheel fell off - so I assumed that I had a tire blow out. But... everything looked fine. I could tell something was very wrong. I could also tell it wasn't just the tires. (And I was met with several, "Why do you think you know everything?!" comments when I said I felt it wasn't just a matter of new tires. Um, because I'm driving it and sometimes you just KNOW what you feel?!) Turns out that when I bought the car, it was majorly screwed up. The entire underside is rusted and my control arms were... not good. One was cracked and busted, the other was literally not there. Not good! Like I said, I was able to get it fixed thanks to my grandparents, but the mechanic let me know that the back of the car isn't looking great either, and that due to the amount of rust, it's probably going to cost the same amount. Not looking forward to the day I have to fix it. Anyway, lesson learned and next time I buy a car I will have a mechanic look at the entire thing. Including the undercarriage. I'm a little less in love with my car than I used to be after this whole affair. 

Less stressful news - I've continued to lose weight. My current weight is the lowest it's been in like, five or six years. Some diet changes have helped, but I've also tried to exercise a bit more. I'm looking into joining the Y, so if that happens I'll really be on my way.

What other riveting adventures can I talk about? Hmmm. 

None. 

False! There are some more. I've finally watched Parks and Rec. I watched the first few episodes a couple of years (or months, who knows) back and I wasn't wildly fond about it. But my friend Joe told me to just get past the first season. So I gave it another try and oh my gosh I loved it. I'm sad I finished it, I want more!!!! In that same vein of second chances, I've just restarted 30 Rock. Here's hoping! I'm also a happier woman lately because my tv shows are back in black, baby. My friend let me use her Hulu, so I've been able to watch The Mindy Project again. Mindy, I've missed you. Grey's Anatomy has returned and I don't care what anyone says, I love the show and I will always watch it. Too many seasons my ass. (I actually happen to think it's getting really good again!) Once Upon a Time returned last night - that show is truly perfect for me. It's so corny. I love it. And Agents of Shield returns tomorrow, super pumped for that. Because I'm a loser (and had pain meds helping me get through it) I binged watched Fuller House this weekend. And I am beyond excited to watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt when it returns. I never used to like tv this much. I don't know what's happened to me. 

Fear not, I haven't abandoned books. In fact, I finally got a library card here. I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. Which is weird, but whatever. I've always been a multiple book at once person, but lately that habit is on steroids. I'm so busy and my moods fluctuate so I'm reading like 10+ books at once - sometimes I want autobiography (just finished Yes Please by Amy Poehler), sometimes I want whatever Emma Watson is reading (almost done with The Color Purple), other times I want mystery... and oftentimes I just want to reread Harry Potter. I'm still very confident that I'll reach my goal of 60 books this year... I'm just doing it a little differently than usual. Maybe I'll write a post about all the books I'm currently reading... I'm sure there's nothing more thrilling than that. 

The books I absolutely want to finish this month: 

The Color Purple

1984 

Out of the Silent Planet (the first book in C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy) 

I'm actually going to pass on setting non-reading-related goals for this month, because I'm mainly focused on getting my teeth fixed and paying some of my bills. I know realistically I won't be focusing on much else, and I'm alright with that for now.     

Why yes, a close up is necessary. (As is a polishing...)

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Charlotte