If you're kind of a nerd but don't want your kids to have crazy names

In the last month, three different friends and family members have had to think of baby names and because they know I'm insane very fond of it, they asked for my help.  Swoon.

Between those conversations and my newest favorite blog, I'm totally enjoying thinking of names for other people's kids right now.  (Totally my place to do so....ahem)  

Current obsession with name-related things: using the names of fictional characters.  Apparently, Khaleesi is on the rise.  Khaleesi.  Now, if you just love the way Khaleesi sounds, then you go, Glen Coco!  Really, it's no one's business what name anyone else chooses for their darling offspring (in almost every single situation).  

I'm not very into obvious fictional names.  I love Dumbledore, but I can't see myself using his name.  (Even Albus.)  I asked a semi-reasonable friend (we'll call him Joe Smith) this question as well.  He said the craziest he'd ever do is name a son Bruce Wayne Smith.  Not too bad.  

But, in case you don't want to name your son Frodo and risk him being constantly referred to as "Hobbit," (now that I think about it, that's awesome) here are some tamer choices for us lovers of LOTR, HP, GoT, etc.

1. Instead of Khaleesi...

Maybe Katherine, Danielle, Maeve, Regina, or Riegan.  

Liz watches Game of Thrones and I asked her about this one.  One of her suggestions was Katherine, I believe because it's another K name.  But she also told me that Khaleesi isn't the name of the character.  It's Daenerys.  This can easily be "Danny" or "Dani," so maybe using the name Danielle would work if you want to shy away from Khaleesi while still using the character as inspiration.  

Khaleesi, on the other hand, means "queen." (...In a made up language, but you know.) 

So, if you're not on the wild side and don't want to call your baby girl "Khaleesi," one possibility is to to give your bundle a more traditional name with the same meaning.  Regina is a fairly common name and means queen.  According to a quick google search, it's been big since medieval times.  Woot!  

But I get the feeling that parents who even consider the name "Khaleesi" don't want to go the common route.  Fear not!  Apparently Maeve means "she who intoxicates" and in Irish tradition it was the name of a warrior queen.  BAMF.  I don't want to name a child in honor of the GoT character, but if I did, I'd go with this one. 

If we want to get really cool - Riegan means "one who talks to dragons" and is pronounced Rye-gan.  This name is still too out there for my own taste, but I think it's closest to the character without using "Khaleesi."

Another option, which is actually an option for any of these, is to use it as a middle name.  Little Ella Khaleesi.  I'm surprised, but I honestly like how that sounds.

2. Instead of Dobby...

How about Robert?  

I haven't heard of a growing trend of baby boys being called Dobby lately.  I think I've heard it floated as an idea once or twice, and in coming up with this list, I looked at trends and which characters I love but would be hesitant to use as namesakes.  As one of my favorite characters in Harry Potter, I can totally see myself saying, "Let's name him DOBBY!" after giving birth to a boy.  Especially if I'm full of pain meds.  Which I will be when I have kids.  Because nope, don't want a ring of fire.  -I digress.-

So one, two, buckle my shoe, I typed "Dobby name meaning" into my greatest and sagest friend and mentor, Google.  And up popped this thread!  Dobby as a nickname for Robert!  This is brilliant.  I'm tempted to put this on my own list of very far future options.  There's Robby and Bobby... why not Dobby?!  This is awesome.  

I don't think Dobby is a bad name.  I just don't think it's a great first name.  I'm a fan of formal first names.  So throwing "Robert" on the birth certificate but referring to el boy as Dobby sounds reasonable.  

Another option?  Use Dobby as a nickname for any D or B name.  It totally works, and your kid's siblings and friends might be less likely to refer to sweet Dobby as their house elf, as his rrreeeaaalll name is Donald.  Or Robert.  Or Benjamin.  You name it. 

I love Lord of the Rings and all of the characters and my nerdier side would totally just name my kids after them.  But if you are hesitant to name your child so obviously after the books/movies, there are other possibilities! 

3. Instead of Frodo...

Use Sam?  Using the more common names from series is still totally honoring the stories, in my opinion.  I love Aragorn and I love Gandalf.  But I wouldn't name my kids after them, at least not directly.  So what other options? 

Instead of Frodo, use Frodo's closest friend.  Frodo couldn't have made it without Sam.  And Sam is one of the loveliest names ever.  I love the name Sam.  Especially for a boy.  Samuel is great and Sam is great and both can work as a tribute to LOTR.  

Another option is to use names that sound similar to Frodo.  Maybe Frederick?  (Also, if using Frederick, Frodo totally makes sense as a nickname to me!)  Or maybe you're both a LOTR fan and a tennis fan!  You can name your baby Roddick.  Or Roderick.  Frodo shares the consecutive r-o-d with those names so is a reasonable nickname.  

What if you like Aragorn?  I've thought of before this because I love Aragorn probably more than any other character.  

If you strictly want similar sounding names, then Aaron is probably closest.  But, if you are looking for something more symbolic representing the character, what about Arthur, Leopold, or Christopher?

Arthur and Leopold (Leopold is one of my favorite names) are both known as king names in legend and history.  Aragorn is the rightful king, so maybe to still use him as inspiration while naming a baby, using another kingly name would work.  Again, while everyone has their own preferences, my own instinct would be to stay away from something clearly honoring a character.  Arthur and Leopold can still do that while being a little more common.  

Why Christopher?  Well.  I think Aragorn is a Christ-like figure.  (As are Gandalf and Frodo.)  So I think it'd be fitting to use a Christ name (Christian also works) in this situation.  

Or again, if you're hesitant to use a name but really love the character, middle names work!  Plenty of traditional names can go in front of Aragorn and sound just fine.  Joseph Aragorn.  Henry Aragorn.  You get the idea. 

Okay, so no one is really going around naming their baby daughters "Black Widow."  (As far as I know.  There are kids named Pilot Inspektor and Jer Majesty though, so it's not like it's an impossibility...)  But maybe you want to name your kid after one of the Avengers.  

4. Instead of Black Widow... 

Use Natalia/Natasha.  You'll totally name your kid after Black Widow, but your kid won't be mocked.  Naming after the Avengers is pretty easy, though, since most have regular names.  Hawkeye is Clint, Cap is Steve, the Hulk is Bruce, Iron Man is Tony.  And then there's Thor.  Thor is a name that predates the Avengers, so you can get away with using it but... like I said, I wouldn't want to give a name so obvious to my own kid.  If your heart is set on the character but you don't want to name your human child Thor, maybe use another Th name like Thomas (I've even seen Thom before) or Theodore.  Theodore can totally be shortened to Thor as a nickname.  Theodore is on my own list (nutty since I'm single but hey) and I always assumed Teddy as a nickname but now I'm thinking Thor is awesome.  

Your genius plan to name your children after the Avengers might be exposed if you have multiple kids, though.  People will likely catch on if you've got Steve, Natasha, Tony, and Bruce running around.  But that'd be baller, so who cares. 

5. Instead of Albus... 

Use any name that means "wise."  

Albus Dumbledore is one of the most beloved characters of the entire series.  He's got loads of good traits that make him a good source of inspiration.  But if you're not keen on using his name on your bebe, there are other ways to keep him in mind while finding a name. You could go with the more traditional Albert (which has a host of cute nicknames) or find a name with similar sound/meaning.   "Albus" means white and wise.  For a combo sound/meaning, there's Alfred or Aldo.  

According to this, Alfred's got a really cool history!  

"Derived from the Old English Ælfred, a compounding of the elements ælf (elf) and ræd (counsel). Elves were considered to be supernatural beings having special powers of seeing into the future; thus the name took on the meaning "wise counsel."

You know what this means - LOTR lovers can use it too!  

But, on topic.  So yes!  "Wise counsel" is right up Dumbledore's alley.  And Alfred has similar sounds to Albus.  Between those two things, I think Alfred makes a solid, tamer choice for Albus. 

Aldo is another option.  It feels a little more hip to me than Alfred, despite being an old name.  It means "old and wise."   Again, completely fitting for a baby named with Dumbledore in mind.  

Other boy names with similar meaning are Shanahan and Conrad.  Shanahan is Irish and means "the wise one."  Conrad is German and means "brave counsel."  It think both of those sound like characteristics of Dumbledore.  (Could also be used if you're looking to Gandalf for inspiration as well!) 

There are so many more great characters and I think any name - no matter how crazy - can be reined in a bit to reach a less obvious name if that's what you're looking for.  Between similar sounds and shared meanings, any character can give insights to great names.  (Or we could all just name kids after the Weasleys.  Rowling did an excellent job naming them.) 

__

Charlotte 

The blogs you love

Every time I write a semi-popular post (yesterday it was this one) I get a few questions, usually from friends, about what other blogs and sites I read.  I also get asked which of my own posts are my favorite.  

The latter is easy to answer.  I have a whole page on it!   But if I had to pick a "top three," at this exact moment, I'd probably pick: 

1. Open Letter to Mindy Kaling ! Forever. 

2. Spiders and God-Given Talents: Education Policy in America and;

3. Being a Burden

But enough about me.  More about..... not me.  

The first question is harder to answer because I don't know what the asker is looking for and I have anxiety about disappointing people I'm never sure if I should limit the topic.  If someone asks me for blog suggestions after reading a post related to racism, I feel like I should narrow my answer to that.  But the blogs I read most often are... mom blogs.  (I'm basically 24 and single and childless so that makes sense.)  So.  I thought maybe I should just have an all-inclusive categorized list?  To please the masses, you know.  Because my five friends qualify as "the masses." 

That picture is completely unrelated but every post needs a picture... I was checking out this book of Hubble images and when I turned to this page I immediately saw the Grim.  So now I'm getting all Trelawney-level paranoid.  (If you've not read HP, apologies.)

Combination Blogs

Great category, Char.  

These blogs don't necessarily fall into one category.  They write about numerous things - parenthood, religion, home decor, books, society, etc.  

1. Carrots for Michaelmas and 

2. Daniel Bearman: Acts of Idiot Praise

Some people call Bey and Jay the power couple and want to follow along with them, but I prefer the Stewarts. I'm like a groupie/wannabee friend. They write about Catholicism, parenting, food (fooooood), and books.  I love and can relate to at least three of those things. 

They both seem like friendly, kind, and loving people.  I don't know how they simultaneously come off as incredibly cool (tattoos? Harry Potter?) and incredibly religious/devoted but they do.  Really, I'm down to read anything written by people who love books and food, and the Stewarts love and write about both. On a more serious note, I've mentioned the good that's come from reading Carrots in this post.  

I don't really prefer one blog over the other, but since this post is meant to give suggestions, I guess I'd suggest you go over to Carrots right now if you love all things Harry Potter (newest favorite HP post on her site) and to Daniel Bearman if you enjoy reading comments on society (like this).  To me, Carrots tends to be heavy on books and lifestyle (I've learned a lot about living out faith from this blog) and Bearman posts often read like essays.  I highly suggest following both.  Again, especially if you love Harry Potter.  

*Also, once a week, Haley from Carrots writes a post and shares other links from around the web.  I love when bloggers do this.  So if you'd enjoy having a weekly list of great pieces to read, that's another reason to follow her. 

3. Yellow Paper Dress

I stumbled across this blog while reading about endometriosis.  Kelle, the blogger behind the site, writes beautifully and truthfully about endo and I always find it helpful.  But she also shares snippets of her family life, quotes from kids at work, and gorgeous pictures.  I love her blog.  She doesn't post as often as some of the other blogs on this list, but I think it's totally worth following her.  

4. Cakies

I don't remember how or when I found this blog.  It could probably fit into the mom blog category, but the blogger behind it, Rubyellen, also shares crafts (though many are kid-centered, but I used some at work so they were helpful), sewing, recipes, and probably my favorite - trees.  She and her family grow fruits and vegetables in their yard and by the looks of it, they are hardcore. 

Also also also!  While my style is very different from hers, Rubyellen shares a lot of wonderful home decor-ish posts.  I love being inspired by them and adapting them to my own style.  

(Bonus points, like Haley from Carrots, there's a weekly - I think! - post sharing links from around the web!  Always terrific.)

It's a cool blog to follow if you've got kids, want kids, or are really interested in planting trees.  Or if you love crafts.

5. The Freckled Fox

If I remember correctly, I was introduced to this blog by a friend because "hey this blogger also has red hair."  Because you know, that's what reading blogs is about.  

But I'm glad for the introduction because I enjoy this blog.  I read it every now and then.  Emily shares hair tutorials that I'd love to try if I wasn't absolutely miserable at doing anything other than washing, brushing, and throwing mousse into my hair.  She also shares little tidbits about her sweet family.  My favorite posts from her are the ones that go something like, "50 things to do on (fill in the blank)" The general feel I get from her blog is a laid-back happy one.  So if you're into the casual, short, fun read - this could be a good fit. 

Book Blogs

Sometimes I find blogs by perusing Pinterest, other times via Facebook, but sometimes....... well sometimes I'm bored and alone and so I google "blogs about..."  Which is how I found these.

   

1. Bookalicious Babe Book Reviews

For starters, I love the alliteration in the blog's name.  

And because I like to focus on substance..... wow, I love the graphics/theme of the blog!  

But also.  I love most book reviews, but what I really like about this blog is that she gives an overall rating and quick synopsis of the books at the end of each post.  If I'm feeling lazy, I can skip to that and decide if I want to read the rest of the review.  If that sounds like something you'd be into, you should check out the blog.

2. Katie's Book Blog 

A lot of the books on Katie's blog aren't books I'd necessarily read.  Is it weird to love her blog anyway?  I mean certainly I'm not against the books she writes about, they're just not the ones I'd wander over to in Barnes and Noble.  

That said.  I loooove reading book reviews.  I especially love reading book reviews by folks who love writing them, and you can tell she does.  I can recognize a good book review because they look like the exact opposite of what my own book reviews look like.  (Except for my thoughts on The Twelve Tribes of Hattie.  I liked writing that one.)  

I'd recommend her blog to anyone who loves reading about books, especially if you're a big fan of YA or contemporary. 

DIY Blogs

Being a bit of DIY expert myself (L.O.L.), I love reading DIY blogs.  And drooling over them.

1. Bower Power

Katie Bower writes about her family a lot and I enjoy those posts a lot, but I'd mainly classify her blog as a DIY/home decor blog.  Some of her tutorials are aimed more toward people with a house (which makes total sense, I'm just not one of them.) and I stow those away in memory for a later day yearrrrs from now.

But!  There are also frequent posts of easier projects that are doable for renters... or for people currently living with family.....

(This is a favorite!)

2. Go for 30

Okay, so this isn't really a DIY blog, but I tend to gravitate toward Chelsea's diy posts and I love them.  This is my favorite.

3. Young House Love

Ahhhh.  The bloggers behind YHL, John and Sherry, no longer post BUT they've kept up all their old projects and I find them so useful.  I'm not going to link a favorite because I just cannot choose.  But if you're into little DIY projects or huge DIY projects, I'd hop over to their site.

Catholic Blogs
Okay so I read a lot of Catholic blogs and sites.  I'm not going to list all of them, but some that I read are Catholic Exchange, House Unseen, Catholic All Year, A Knotted Life, The Fike Life.. and well, many more.  But, most of the bloggers are in wwwaaayyy different stages in life than I am so I can't always relate, so I don't follow them as closely as others.

But one Catholic blog I adore is

1. Held by His Pierced Hands

Meg writes about everything.  Saints, popes, current events.  And she does so beautifully.  Sometimes I'm just inspired by her posts (like this one) (and this one) but often, I learn a lot.  She doesn't post frequently, but I'm one of those stalk-the-archives kind of people so I enjoy her blog nonetheless.  One night I stayed up reading this entire series on Jesus.  (Bye, chances of sleep.)

Mom Blogs
This will make my friends think I'm lame.

Okay so probably half of the blogs I listed above qualify as "mom blogs" but the one that really stands out to me is

1. Camp Patton

Oh my gosh.  Grace from Camp Patton is hilarious and when I grow up I want to write just like her.  (I'm already grown up so... pipe dream.)

Again, I have no kids.  I basically raised my seven younger siblings and had *not the best* upbringing so for a while I was convinced I never wanted kids.  But then I wasn't 19 anymore and started changing my mind, and then I started reading online blogs and really changed my mind.  But, I digress.

My favorite posts are probably the ones with funny quotes from her kids and husband.  Their children have what seems like a natural aptitude for sarcasm.  I can appreciate all of her posts, and she probably paints the best picture of parenthood out there.  It's messy and hard, but the joy shines through her posts.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that the blogger, Grace, has written numerous time about her fear of predators and I think she's called it irrational but as someone who checked under her bed and in all the closets in the apartments five time every night while on antidepressants, I appreciate the camaraderie.  (pssst don't worry, it's down to once a night.)  So if you have the same fear, hop on over and feel like you're not alone.

Her writing is like a quick, witty banter.  It's got the feel of a kind of hybrid of CJ from The West Wing and Lorelai from Gilmore Girls.  I am not exaggerating when I say Grace could write about diapers and I'd still enjoy the post just because her style of writing is superb.

This post is getting long.

Okay, so, lastly... where do I read about 
Current events and social justice?  

Mainly, I rely on my friends who are smarter than me to share blog posts and news links.  That's honestly where I get most of my reading.  However!  Two of the sites I go to frequently (both thanks to the recommendation of the same person) are:

1. Democracy Now!
2. The Militant

Really all I can say about both of those sites is that they're reliable and seem like very honest reporting to me, and I appreciate that.

So there we have it.  I might have forgotten some, but these are the blogs and sites I frequent.  Of them all, my top three favorite are Carrots for Michaelmas, Camp Patton, and Daniel Bearman: Acts of Idiot Praise.

Bonus: I don't know where this would fit but you all know I have a love of baby names (examples 1, 2, and 3), and I recently came across this blog and love it.  Hop over if you also love names.

__
Charlotte

Baltimore Riots: White Contradictions

Alternate title: Little White Lies
heh.

Listen, I'm white.  And it was, admittedly, very uncomfortable to accept that white privilege is a thing in America.  A few years ago I would have been one of the people telling rioters in Baltimore to stop ruining things.  But I read probably my #1 most recommended book - A People's History by Howard Zinn.  And more importantly, I met great people in college who were down to have conversations about topics that were challenging.  And so I started to open my mind a little bit. 

Over the last year we've seen an escalation in clashes with police.  Black people are killed every 28 hours in America by security, vigilantes, or police.  (According to FBI reports, a white police officer kills a black man twice a week.)  

Unfortunately, media and large segments of the population harbor more anger at the clashes and protests and riots than they do at the systemic killing of black people.  And they've offered up all sorts of "advice," "solutions," and criticisms.  I thought I'd point a few of them out because really, we need to stop thinking like this. 

(This shouldn't need to be said but I know people are sensitive so... obviously there are exceptions to every rule.  This isn't an attack against other white people, it's a criticism of the way we, as a group, tend to interpret the events that are taking place.)

1. "Peaceful protests are the only way to change things!  MLK said so." 

Not quite.

In a little over two months, middle class America is going to be out in troves at the grocery stores, stocking up on beer and hot dogs for the 4th of July celebratory barbecues.  That's fine.  I too will be consuming hot dogs and soda.  

But on that day, we'll be rejoicing in the Declaration, celebrating the day that the colonists finally said, "enough," and proclaimed to the world that we were a free nation.  

We'll be celebrating a day that led to a bloodbath.  

Yes, the war had already started and yes, July 2 was the day when independence was voted on.  But the declaration was read aloud to patriots and loyalists/Tories alike, and it incited celebration on the one hand and anger on the other.  It lead to destruction of statues and buildings in cities, and it meant more war.  The colonists weren't backing down.  

Celebrating the declaration is celebrating violent resistance.  

My point is, while I hope and pray that the revolution that is coming is a peaceful one, I hardly think it's right for white people to tell black people that peaceful protests are the only way to win change.  This country was founded in a violent war.  "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" wasn't achieved just by holding hands.  It cost us dearly.  It was bloody.  It was destructive.  

Discourage and condemn the looting, fine.  But don't say that peaceful protest is the only way to make change.  Or if you do say that, you better pass on the hamburgers and potato salad this 4th of July.

And please, stop softening MLK's image to use him against black people.

I don't think burning buildings is the best plan, but MLK understood why riots happened.  He understood why people become violent.  He acknowledged that there are valid reasons people act in non-peaceful ways.  He said, "riot is the language of the unheard." 

You want an end to riots?  Then maybe try listening to the experiences of black folks before another man is slain by police.  (At this rate, you have a few days.) 

(Another related thing to think about: it was a riot that helped begin the larger fight for LGBTQ rights in America.)

2.  The Boston Tea Party was heroic.

I remember learning about the Boston Tea Party in a positive light.  I remember being told Samuel Adams and the other men who boarded the ships were American heroes.  

Samuel Adams and the Sons of Liberty destroyed someone else's property.  

White men do it and it is heroism.  Black men do it and it's disgusting.  

Look, I don't think burning CVS down to the ground is a good idea.  But don't call the rioters animals and don't dare suggest that they don't understand what they're protesting.  These are kids, sure, but they're kids living in impoverished areas with underfunded schools and streets patrolled by police officers who racially profile.  Their grievances are valid. 

I consider Samuel Adams a hero.  One day I'll teach my own children that he was a radical, someone who was fed up with injustice, someone that stood up.  

Most of white America does the same, making the idea that "rioting isn't okay" a contradiction.  Do I think the people looting CVS will be seen as heroes one day?  I don't know.  But probably not, because it's a CVS.  But I think this young man will be seen as a valiant fighter for justice, even if he resorted to violence: 

Sometimes, when people are shooting at you and tear gas is being used, and rubber bullets are flying, you need to fight back. 

It's possible to question the need for violence without calling protesters "animals" and "thugs."  If you're going to use those names, I fully expect you to teach your own kids that Samuel Adams was a hellbent criminal. 

3.  I understand the anger, but change needs to come from within the black community.

Side eye.  

Can the black community stand to change?  Maybe, it's not really for me (or white masses) to say.

I grew up in poverty, and I know that there's a lot of internal crime and despair.  There tends to be a lot of overlap between poor people and black people (ahem, institutionalized racism), so while I will never fully understand the experience of poor black people, I understand some of the problems that come with poverty.  The people I grew up around, including some of my family, should try to change their behavior.  

Here's the thing though.  The vast majority of problems that exist within the black community are a direct result of oppression, white supremacy, and institutionalized racism.  Gang violence doesn't exist because everyone really likes dressing in nice colors.  It exists because we've created a system where it is damn near impossible for people to escape poverty, especially if they're people of color.  I was born into less than stellar circumstances, but I happened to be white and to move into a good area right before high school, meaning I had resources that other kids don't.  Even still, I find it extremely hard to hold my temper, to not start doing drugs, and to not go back to a place where the environment is toxic but at least I'd have a little camaraderie.  Because the middle class doesn't want anything to do with you until and unless you've made it (another contradiction - pull yourself up, work hard - but they hate you as you try to do those things).  There are so many physical, financial, and yes, psychological roadblocks to changing a bad environment.  

So yes, I'd say white people tend to contradict themselves when they suggest black people change while encouraging cuts in social security, cuts in food stamps, cuts in education.  Don't suggest changing from within while simultaneously withholding the resources to make that happen. 

**Also, this isn't a contradiction so much as something that should just be taken as fact, but: 

It is not the responsibility of black people to change their behavior in order to stop racism against them.  It is solely the responsibility of the perpetrators of racism to stop it.  

4. The rioters are ruining their own neighborhoods.

Similarly to the argument that change needs to come from within, I want to point out the hypocrisy of suddenly caring about black neighborhoods.  Before Freddie Gray was killed, were the people making this claim sharing scathing statuses on the injustice of urban poverty?  After his death but before his funeral, were you fuming about the rate of homicide committed by police officers? 

Look, if you felt the need to speak out about the murder of Freddie Gray and about your dislike of rioting and looting, I could respect that.  

But if, like most people, you said nothing about Gray (or Brown, or Rice, or Garner, or Scott...) but felt the need to speak out about the rioting, your priorities are off.  You're contradicting yourself by scolding black people for "ruining their own neighborhoods" while standing idly by as police, capitalism, and racism ruin black neighborhoods every day. 

Also, I want to copy and paste from someone smarter than me: 

Excuse me? Now it's "their own" city. Like suddenly they own it? It's not theirs! Nothing in this country belongs to poor black folks. Those aren't "their shops." Those aren't "their houses." You think they have the deed to the projects? You think they own stock in CVS? You think they are employed by that nursing home, or could even afford to send their grandparents there to retire if they wanted to? If Black people were really destroying "their own" things nobody would care. If a man ran in his own house, grabbed his own TV and threw it out the window, would America give a fuck?

5.  Instead of rioting they should be going to college or

     While all this rioting is happening, not one of these people are in school

This kills me.  

There is something sick and twisted about telling black kids to fix their problems by going to college when a good number of those kids won't be alive to go to college because they're being killed by the people sworn to protect them.

Also, I'd just like to reiterate - it is not up to these kids to do things to prevent being killed.  It is up to the people who are killing them to stop. 

It's important to add that college is not a possibility for everyone.  There are many, many reasons for this, but educated white people often refuse to see them. 

"Okay, but how is any of this contradictory to other actions?" 

Over the last day or two, it's been the same people who ignore economic problems that have made this suggestion.  It's been the people who were able to go to college without worrying about money.  It's been the people who say things like, "Student debt shouldn't be forgiven - they knew they were taking out loans when they signed!" 

If you're going to have the audacity to suggest going to college will end police killings, then at least fight to make college accessible for everyone. 

**Another point: When we're specifically talking about being followed, pursued, or killed by police, evidence suggests level of education makes no difference. 

**Just can't stop so... I don't think it's prudent to say, "these kids should be in school."  The schools are underfunded, the basic needs aren't met, and teachers are forced (thanks to standardization and the influence of companies like Pearson) to use textbooks that give a white-washed account of history.

6.  Get jobs and make the community better instead of burning it down. 

On April 15th, fast food workers went on strike demanding $15/hr and a union.  

On April 15th, many many educated, middle class white people condemned fast food workers for going on strike and demanding $15/hr and a union.  

You need to choose.  You can either tell black people to get jobs and fix the community (though you'll sound like a patronizing if you do) OR you can be against giving all workers a living wage (though you'll sound like a patronizing if you do).  

Many of those fast food workers were people of color.  Intersectionality is a thing.  You can't tell protesters to get jobs but then refuse to support living wages for those jobs.  

And so 

My suggestion is to try and understand where the rioters are coming from and to stand in solidarity with the peaceful protesters.  Lives are on the line.  

__

Charlotte 

"DIY" candle holder

I like candles a lot.  And candle holders.  Which is why I was pumped when I was given this old not-so-great candle holder that was bought at a garage sale for something like $1.  

It doesn't look too bad there (other than the foggy glass...) but it was dark and if you look closer, there were scratches all over it.

Sooooo I decided to brighten it up with some soap and water, a little paint, and a new candle:

The pictures don't really do it justice.  The glass is sparkly clean, the blue is a little brighter than these pictures show (it's called Bahama Blue... wow fancy), and the candle is yellow.  

My camera is perfectly fine.  My picture-taking ability is not.   

So yes.  Solution to boredom and a new lovely candle holder.  

__

Charlotte

Stagnant

Some people don't have dreams, or at least, have no recollection of their dreams when they wake up in the morning.  

I am not one of those people.  I have dreams every night, and when I wake up I can often remember them.  Once in a while it'll be a very vague memory or I'll have a hard time recalling it, but usually I have a grasp of what I dreamed about.  

And I'm a big nightmare person.  I don't have nightmares once in a while, I have them around three or four times a week.  For as long as I can remember, I've had two main recurring nightmares: One where there are crazy amounts of tidal waves and I have no where to go and one that takes place in the house I grew up in, with an old man and his swan hiding out in my basement.  I'd always try to help him by throwing them down food or something, and while he never tried to kill me or anything, toward the end of the dream I'd always get the sense that he would kill me if he could, and then I'd wake up, terrified.  (Riddle me that.) 

But I haven't had either of those nightmares in a while.  Instead, I have "nightmares" that are just an extension of my actual life.  My dreams aren't surreal, nothing out of the ordinary happens.  Things are exactly how they would be in my actual waking life.  Except I start to get a horrible anxious, terrified feeling right before I wake up.  

My real life and my nightmares are the same thing. 

This post is turning out to be depressing.  Distract yo'self with picture of pretty flowers.

I keep seeing all these motivational posts about becoming the kind of person who doesn't settle for contentedness, the kind of person who ditches safety and pursues their dreams.  And while that's admirable and hopefully is something I do one day, I wish I could just come close to being merely content.  

I'd definitely describe where I'm at as a stand-still, but it's not a good one.  It's hardly an acceptable place to be.  Some of it's my own fault.  Some of it is the fault of other people.  A lot of it seems to be really bad luck. 

I don't really know where I was going with this post.  But I turn 24 in a couple of weeks.  24 is still young and fun, but really, it's not kid category.  (Not that 23 is, either...)  I should be doing things. 

Because my health is just not even slightly okay right now, I can't even get a job.  I'm looking for something I can do from home, but no luck yet.  And speaking of health - I do not know where to even start with fixing it.  I need surgery that isn't performed in most cities here (in fact, very few doctors do it anywhere).  

I moved to North Carolina as a sort of last resort and my intent was to stay around a year, get a job, save $3-5,000, and move back to New York.  Bad health means no job means no money.  I think I've got about $100 saved from odd jobs for family.  And I don't think it qualifies as "saved" since I'll need to use it for next month's bills, anyway. 

So here I am, every single day, doing nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  And I can't see any shining light at the end of the tunnel.  I can't fathom getting out of this situation.  I wake up every day, get dressed, and do nothing.  On good days I'll read or write, and if I get a few pain-free hours I'll exercise.  But other than that, the only things ever on my schedule are going to my aunt's house 20 minutes away to walk her dogs and watching certain TV shows.  Those are the two things I "do."  Walk a dog and look forward to Once Upon a Time and Grey's Anatomy.  

My life - my weeks - are measured by a fucking television show.  

I have no friends here, which doesn't help.  And sometimes I think I don't even want friends here.  I just want to get medical help, get a job, and save enough money to go back to NY.  And I can't see how it's going to happen.  

I am so, so sick of this all.  My routine goes something like this: wake up, get dressed, sit in chair doing nothing - maybe watching Netflix -, go walk dogs, come home, sit in chair doing nothing, maybe watch Netflix, eat dinner, go to bed.  That's what my life looks like... if you can call it a life. 

At the very least I wish I was doing a little more substantial reading and writing, but depression hits hard when my life gets this slow, so it's difficult to get myself to do either of those things. 

At least something is growing.

I'm not someone who believes people are meant to continuously grow - I mean, I believe we grow in things like wisdom and knowledge, but I don't think you need a new promotion or a new car or more money every other year.  I think you can be perfectly happy without being rich and without being someone's boss.  I don't really adhere to the culture of more, more, more.  I'm not convinced I can become a millionaire if I try hard enough, and I don't feel a strong desire to do so anyway (not that I'd turn such an opportunity away...).  But I do think everyone needs personal growth.  I'm currently not developing any skill, not getting any smarter, not reaching or even working toward any of my goals, big or small, and it is making me miserable.  What's worse is the knowledge that I have no clue how to change any of this. 

I talked to a friend/mentor a few weeks (or was it months?  Let me see if I an recall which episode of Grey's was on that night...) ago and he said something along the lines of, "I remember when you used to have dreams."  It wasn't said in a critical way, it was said in an, "I care about you and I want you to find purpose again" sort of way.  

Problem is, I can hardly remember those dreams.  I need to look at old blog posts to remind myself of what my goals were.  And when I do start to think about them, they don't feel like goals or dreams that I ever had.  They feel far-off, or like dreams and goals of some other person.  They don't feel like things I'd ever realistically envision myself achieving.  

I think that's a mix of depression and of this sort of stagnant place I'm in.  I feel like I'm barely surviving, so any thought of thriving is laughable.  And I know all of this, which only makes me feel worse. 

*distract* *distract* *distract*

I wish I could end this post with some great announcement detailing my plans to change this, but I don't know where to start and I don't know that I'm even capable of changing anything.  So much of what's wrong has to do with things outside of my control - money, health, etc.  I don't know how people bounce back from whatever this is - I'd call it rock bottom, but every time I think I've hit rock bottom something happens to make things worse.   

All I know is that as of now, I'm doing nothing.  I'm pretty much useless and my life is getting wasted away.  

Things need to turn around at some point, right?  .......Right? 

__

Charlotte 

   

Sorting Hat: Gilmore Girls

You know what time it is?  Time for some more Sorting Hat fun!  I love Harry Potter and I love Gilmore Girls, so this post is like a dream to write.  And even better?  Liz* is helping!  Yay for Liz. 

1. Lorelai Gilmore 

Charlotte's take: 

Lorelai goes to Gryffindor!  There are a lot of great things about Lorelai, and quite a few factors go into this sort.  Obviously she's brave and courageous.  Sista left her comfortable and safe lifestyle to go raise her baby and follow her dream.  It was definitely the road less traveled.  She's also a little reckless at times, both as a teenager and an adult.  It's never in a horrible way, but the wild side of her makes me narrow it down to Hufflepuff or Gryffindor.  Combine that with her bravery and she joins the house where dwells Dumbledore and Martin Sheen.  

Also, I'd be in Gryffindor, and I'd want to be in the same house as her.  That's a good reason, right? 

Liz's take: 

Lorelai goes to Gryffindor!  Look at all of the stuff she did. Raising Rory, making her own path, starting her own career- that takes so much courage and strength.  She's also a momma you don't want to fuck with.  

Okay, so we're agreed!  An excellent addition to Gryffindor. 

2. Rory Gilmore 

We're disagreed on this one! 

Liz's take: 

Rory goes to Ravenclaw!  I feel pretty confident about Ravenclaw. She's obviously bookish and loves learning no matter where she is. She was also for a long period of time the weird one at school. The quiet loner.  Also I don't think she had the patience of a Hufflepuff. Remember when she realized she needed charity work on her resume and how she bailed on Dean to do ALL THE THINGS for her college app in one weekend?  She wanted to get into Harvard so much. Not just because of the name, but because of how much she thinks she'd learn there.

Charlotte's take: 

All of the things Liz said about Rory's love of learning are true.  And I was torn on this one.  Rory reads all the time.  Usually if someone reads that much, they're big thinkers.  Rory is incredibly smart but I don't know if she's the kind of big-thought-intellectual smart that Ravenclaws strike me as.  Rory would fit in well in Ravenclaw, but that doesn't mean it'd be her best fit.  

I sort of think people will be appalled at this, but I don't think that she should be in Ravenclaw.  I'm not suggesting she isn't brilliant - she is very, very intelligent.  But I don't think she's the same kind of smart as, say, Luna.  She's often down for things like getting bad take-out food and heading off to watch dumb movies.  And that's fine!  I do the same.  It doesn't mean she's not smart, I just don't think she'd enjoy sitting in the Ravenclaw common room discussing the implications of capitalism or something if she knew she could be elsewhere.  

Lest you think all smart people belong in Ravenclaw, let me remind you of the brightest witch of her time: Hermione.  Hermione is brilliant, well read, overachieving, eager to learn, and down right nerdy.  But she's got other traits that make her better suited for Gryffindor. 

Other traits of Ravenclaws are creativity and originality.  Rory is book smart, certainly, but that's not the same as creative or original.  Outside of that one article she wrote about her school's parking lot, turning it into some brilliant piece of work, Rory doesn't display those qualities frequently.  Brilliant?  Yes.  Analytic?  Yes.  Creative/artsy/original?  Eh, sometimes.  Ravenclaws remind me of academics.  I love academics!  But I wouldn't call Rory an academic.  

So where to put her?  Obviously I'm not gonna throw girlfran' in Slytherin.  That said, Gryffindor doesn't feel right, and I wouldn't call Rory the same kind of brave as her momma.  

Traits of Hufflepuffs include kindness, hard work, dedication, and fairness.  These are traits that Rory displays throughout the entire series.  Kindness?  The entire town loves her specifically for her kindness.  Hard work?  That's how she excelled in school and got into Yale and Harvard.  Dedication?  She's so super dedicated to her goals, dreams, family, and friends.  I mean, look how she sticks by Paris' side despite Paris being.... Paris.  That is dedication.  And fairness?  Girl can't take cereal from the cafeteria without leaving a dollar or two behind because it wouldn't be fair not to pay for it.  

I can easily see her, the smartest in her group of Hufflepuff friends, going to Hogwarts' movie night or something and having a good old time.  

Rory goes to Hufflepuff!

3.  Luke!

Charlotte's take: 

Luke goes to Hufflepuff!  Alright, this is pretty clear, yes?  The man owns and runs a diner, getting up before the sun rises to get the day started.  Clearly a hard worker.  And oh man, what a good friend.  The level of loyalty and dedication he shows throughout the series is *precious.*  Dude builds Lorelai an ice rink.  Makes Rory cake and ties balloons to her chair for her birthday.  Though he's grumpy about it, he brings the guys hot chocolate when they're reenacting Stars Hollow's role in the Revolution.  

He's basically the best and most reliable friend you could have.  Yay for Hufflepuff! 

Liz's take: 

Hmm. Yes. Agreed. Hufflepuff. He's got a hard exterior but he's such a big softy on the inside. And he's obviously an exceptionally hard worker.

4. Sookie St. James

Liz's take: 

Sookie goes to Hufflepuff!  Loyal. So loyal to Lorelai and Jackson.  Hardworking - SHE WILL DRIP BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS TO PERFECT EVERYTHING SHE COOKS. Talk about hard worker.  (Charlotte here - hopefully she is NOT dripping blood sweat and tears....)

She also doesn't have a lot of the characteristics associated with the other houses.

Charlotte's take: 

Yes, I agree with everything Liz said.  Sookie goes straight to Hufflepuff.  Hardworking, loyal, and she is the friendliest friend of all the friends in the world!  Or, to take from movie Dumbledore's obituary for Cedric - she's a fierce, fierce friend. 

5. Paris Geller

Charlotte's take: 

Paris goes to Slytherin.  There, there, get your panties out of a bunch.  Not all Slytherins are bad.  Professor Slughorn was a Slytherin, and he wasn't a bad guy.  

Paris is very ambitious.  I've said before that I generally loathe people who are overflowing with ambition, and I stand by that.  A little ambition is good.  Working toward goals and dreaming is good (see: Lorelai, Sookie).  Throwing everything and everyone else away because of your own ambition is bad.  

On an ambition scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most vile sort of ambitious person, I'd probably put Paris around a 7.5.  For the most part, she is only concerned with self-advancement.  She manages to keep it in check sometimes, though.  And I do love her.  She's pretty much in the same category as Slughorn for me.  She's too ambitious and self absorbed, but she's not necessarily a bad person.  Some shining moments that come to mind for her:  getting Nanny to take care of Doyle, covering with Dean for Rory by telling him she had a crush on Jess, and honoring her late professor/lover by throwing him a wake.  

See!  Slytherins are people, too. 

Liz's take: 

Paris goes to Slytherin!  She is so self involved. She does whatever it takes to be the best at everything. And she often doesn't do things out of the goodness of her heart- she does them because she thinks they'll advance her position.  She had been volunteering since she was a kid for the sole purpose of getting into Harvard.  (There was a reason we all secretly loved that she didn't get into Harvard.)  

Also VERY COMPETITIVE.

6. Richard Gilmore

Charlotte's take: 

Richard was hard to sort, but ultimately I think he goes to Gryffindor.   Part of me wanted to put him into Slytherin, since he and Emily are often manipulating everyone/thing around them to suit their own needs, and since class is such a big deal for them, the way blood status is for many Slytherins.  

But I couldn't put him in Slytherin for that alone.  Remember, there are upper class and purebloods in the other houses as well (James Potter, for instance). 

He's also a little less snooty than I imagine most Slytherins to be.  So I thought about the traits of the other houses, and I think he matches up pretty nicely with Gryffindor.  Specifically, he's stubborn/strong willed, chivalrous, and full of nerve.  

I think his nose will probably be tilted toward the air, but that he'll fit it just fine with Gryffindors. 

Liz's take: 

I kinda think Ravenclaw or Slytherin... He cares a lot about social rank but he was born into it... I thought Ravenclaw because he is bookish and academic.  I thought Slytherin because of pride and social ranking.  But we went over those traits.  What you said makes sense.  I think Gryffindor overall fits him better.

7. Emily Gilmore

Liz's take: 

Emily cares much more about social rank than Richard. She's also much more manipulative... how she treats Lorelai and all.  She's also prideful and very interested in material possessions.  Yeah, uhm. I am inclined towards Slytherin.

Charlotte's take: 

Emily IS very manipulative and cares way too much about her social standing.  She's pretentious and acts very shallow sometimes.  My first inclination is to put her in Slytherin.  

That said, something feels off.  

Don't get me wrong, she'd fit in well in Slytherin.  We know Slytherin tends to be an exclusive house, and Emily loves all exclusive things.  But, but, but there are a few things that point me in a different direction with her.  

First, on the eve of her vow renewal she goes over to Lorelai's and gets drunk as hell.  And she just chills and laughs her ass off with the lowly gals of Stars Hollow.  She can have regular fun!  Without the DAR or rich people things like lapels.  

Second, and more importantly, while she's prideful and manipulative, she ultimately does what she needs to to keep Lorelai in her life.  Hear me out!  

• She went to Luke's diner and told him (in a very patronizing way, of course) that he should get back together with Lorelai.  
• She served pudding! 
• She sat at the bar to have dinner with Lorelai. 
• She stole a robe! 
• She bought Rory a cheesy bracelet instead of fancy pearls.  

None of this changes her Slytherin-like traits but these things display that she makes choices she wouldn't normally make for the sole purpose of keeping her family together.  That kind of devotion sounds like something a Hufflepuff would display, but again... she makes choices to stand by Richard and to be with Lorelai.  So I think Emily is one of those cases where the sorting hat would take her request, and she'd want to be with her husband and daughter in Gryffindor.  

And that's it!  At some point later in the week we'll have seven more Gilmore Girls characters, hooray! 

*Liz wrote her comments via Facebook chat, which is why they are less thought out than her previous post. 

__

Charlotte & Liz

Other Sorting Hat Posts: 

Sorting Hat: The West Wing
Sorting Hat: The West Wing, Part 2
Sorting Hat: Supernatural